Tag Archives: weight loss

Big, Fat Failure.

  By breakfasttobed | April 2, 2012 - 10:24 AM | , , , ,
15 Comments

Don’t you just love Spring??? It’s such a renewal. I am convincing myself that this time of renewal completely negates the fact that I failed miserably at my new year’s resolutions and can hit the ground running again. I have thus far ended up with a LARGER muffin top and I have purchased ALL THE DUNKIN. It’s a sickness. 

Most days I feel like the “Time to make the donuts” guy from the early Dunkin commercials, only it’s just me and it’s “time to give Dunkin all my $$$” first thing in the morning. Then again at 3 ish when I get my iced coffee at the drive through, and then again in the evening when I have my decaf iced coffee with chocolate milk after I work out. If I ever had the shakes and showed up at my dealer’s place looking for a fix, the’d be wearing an orange and purple uniform.

I also only had a .5lb weight-loss this week. I know that it’s a respectable number, but when you are used to being better at losing weight, it feels like a failure. Hell, just the fact that I let myself tick up on the scale feels like a failure. I know myself well enough to know that I can’t simply give up sweets entirely or I will binge. I know that I cannot give up carbs entirely or my body won’t function. I need to focus on the things I know I CAN give up. Beer. (insert Homer Simpson whine) Wine. My kid’s leftovers. Nibbles while I’m cooking, an extra taste here and there.

I need to focus on how I don’t need to EAT everything I make for the blog, I just need to taste it. That does not mean I have to taste the batter, this does not mean I have to eat the crumbs my skinny minnie baby leaves behind. She’s been ordered to GAIN weight, not me. I need to focus more on that.

I have been really good about working out and drinking a lot of water. I just need to focus on the small things in my control. I love beer and wine, I do, but I don’t love my muffin top. I also don’t love feeling like a failure-and yes-that is how I feel, ridiculous as that may sound. I have avoided the Easter candy aisles only to fall prey to the chocolate covered espresso beans and pecans at my bulk food store. What devil decided to combine two of my favorite things? Caffeine and caffeine? I think it was the creepy Amish looking kids in “Children of the Corn”. They seem the type.

I need to RE-renew. I need to step back, assess, and decide what can stay and what needs to get gone, or, in the words of one of my favorite authors, Jennifer Estep “get dead”. My bad habits need to once again, get dead.

If I quit smoking 8 years ago, and got healthy 7 years ago, I can damn well do it again. I refuse to be a statistic. I refuse to be one of the many people who experience massive weight loss only to regain it. Screw that, I like breathing and buying a size 6, petty as that # is; I like it. Eff that, after being a size 26, I LOVE that. I’ll still bake. I’ll still be me. But I don’t need to shove it in my damn face. Do you know what I want in my face? YOU. Keep me in check, tweet me, FB me, help me be my best self and I’ll do the same for you. I’m going to keep posting my #PROOF instagrams/tweets, and posting more of what I eat. I need to.

As I said, I’ll still bake. I’ll admit, this was also my breakfast. It was 300 calories, which is a respectable, if not a less than healthy breakfast. Coffee/crumb cake is a NYC staple. Every bodega sells it, every baker makes it, ALL THE PEOPLE eat it. Mine just happens to be superior.

Mixed Berry Crumb Cake (coffee cake)

mixed berry crumb cake

by Cat Tan

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 50 minutes

Keywords: bake breakfast snack dessert cake spring

Ingredients (9-12 portions)

For the Crumbly Topping

  • 1/4 cup light brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup dark brown sugar
  • 2 TBSP granulated sugar
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp nutmeg
  • 1/8 tsp ginger
  • 1/8 tsp allspice
  • 3/4 cup all purpose flour
  • 1/2 cup crushed biscoff cookies or 1/4 cup crushed graham crackers and 1/4 cup gingersnaps
  • 1 stick of butter, melted

for the cake, all room temperature

  • 7 tbsp butter
  • one, six oz container of plain greek yogurt (2%)
  • 2 tbsp milk
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/2 tsp almond extract
  • 1 1/4 cup flour
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1/4 cup LIGHT brown sugar
  • 1 cup of berries

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350F

grease a 9″ square baking dish

combine all the dry ingredients for the crumb topping and whisk

stir in butter and set aside

for the cake

whip together all wet ingredients,

sift in dry ingredients and combine

pour into prepared container and press berries into batter

top with crumb topping and bake for approx 50 minutes or until a skewer inserted comes out clean.

let cool and cut

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Too Fat for Fifteen-Too Much for Me to Watch.

  By Cat Tan | April 19, 2011 - 7:18 AM |
2 Comments

        Let me start this out by saying, I was an overweight teen. I was an obese adult. I KNOW firsthand what these kids are going through on a daily basis. I was bullied, I was depressed. I hated a lot of what makes your teen years so fun for so many. I put up a huge front. I became a "goth," figuring that if everyone saw the black clothing and steely makeup first, they'd notice my weight less. I remember one day looking down at my gym teacher's attendance book to see "freak" written by my name. (The kids took attendance in this class.) I went to the locker room and cried. Bullies are bullies are bullies. This is why on one hand I watch Too Fat for Fifteen…Fighting Back and I think, "Wow, these kids are really brave to put their story and struggles out there for everyone to see." On the other hand I also think, as I am watching a girl have a moment on the scale I have had several times, peeling off tee shirts hoping it's .5lbs worth of clothing, "why does this show exist?" Is it really so that we can cheer for them and provide a cautionary tale about the toll of childhood obesity, or is it so we can all feel a little self-righteous? OUR kids would NEVER get that big. They'll all be SUPER active and eat REALLY well.

    Last year, when teens were asked what they wanted to be when they grew up, the #1 answer given was "famous." Not a doctor or a lawyer or even an actress, they want to be famous. In this day and age, that clearly means "by any means necessary." It seems as though their parents are also encouraging this. Seriously, what parent says to themselves, "I am going to let a reality tv crew from "Style" follow my overweight preteen/teen around and document their every move." That seems perfectly rational. *eyeroll* Once you meet the parents; you understand. These people are awful. One mother tells her kid to avoid dressings and chips while they party down on pulled pork and macaroni and cheese; one mother mocks her daughter's new recipes and then declares them "delicious" when she adds more salt and seasonings. These parents want to be famous just as much as their kids. It's truly sad.

    The Wellspring program is by definition a DIET. It does not seem like a lifestyle plan. It is all fat-free this and sugar-free that. If I have learned anything by keeping the weight off for 5+ years, it's that you need a sustainable LIFESTYLE. You need fat in your diet to keep you sated, and to feed your brain. If you don't, you're going to get grouchy and you're going to fight back against the things that may be the best for you. (like running a 5k or waking at 5 for a spin class) It is no wonder these kids are fighting back–against the program. They feel deprived. Who can stand that feeling? How many people do you know that are chipper and happy when they are quitting smoking? ZERO. Same principal. Trust me, I've done both.

    I now know that I NEED to exercise every day to stay healthy and to be able to eat some of the things I enjoy. I know that I need to talk about my feelings to keep them from consuming me. I know that I need to distract myself when I am bored to keep my hands out of the fridge. These kids may or may not learn this. For their sake, I hope they do. I hope they also can do it without the cameras.