Tag Archives: bodypump

Sweet, Arse Flavored Soap.

  By breakfasttobed | January 3, 2012 - 11:05 PM | , , , ,
1 Comment

Ten things I dislike about today

  1. The Peanut is sick. I *think* it may just be teething, but either way…
  2. January Joiners. My gym was PUH-ACKED today. Trust me when I tell you, none of them got the memo on gym etiquette. (just when you think you’re wearing enough deodorant, add more, don’t use more than one locker, TOWEL AND SANITIZE, don’t take the front row on the spin bikes if you are going to FALL OFF AND VOMIT.)
  3. UV cake flavored vodka, it tastes less of cake and more of sweet, ass flavored soap.
  4. Drug Stores don’t carry organic milk. I really think they should.
  5. I am out of magnesium and the GNC beside my gym closes before my class lets out. Now I’ll never know if I can make myself magnetic.
  6. “Party of Five’s” Scott Wolf played a bad guy on NCIS. He’s the older brother everyone wants, who apparently, can kill a whole party of five. LACEY NOOOOOO!!!
  7. It’s not acceptable for me, as a woman, to be in a polygamist marriage with LL Cool J and Chris O’Donnell.
  8. Speaking of marriage, The Cop didn’t eat my delicious squash, based on the principal that he doesn’t like squash. That is a lousy reason. Little does he know, it’s in his lunchbox for tomorrow.
  9. The Jets aren’t in the playoffs, so I have no superbowl party to look forward to. I suppose I could throw a party if the Giants get in, but it seems unlikely. I wanted to do all green foods. There was going to be green eggs and spam, broccoli in green goddess dressing, green beer, creme de menthtinis. The desserts were also going to be on a “Shark” shaped table. Bonus points if you get the reference. (and please, snap and dip)
  10. I can’t tell whether I like or dislike #10. Rick Santorum is leading the Iowa Caucus. Negative is that it means more time with boring old Rick Santorum in the debates, positive is more Santorum jokes.

I am tired. I killed it at BodyPump and Spin and my teacher put me in the leader bike which made me feel like I was awarded that Student of the Week title I never received in 4th grade. I’d make a joke about my fourth grade teacher being the devil, but seeing as how she’s dead, seems rude.

I am confident that the people around me in BodyPump and spin smelled NOTHING coming from me other than the scent of awesome. Or maybe just the smell of fear from trying desperately to do everything perfectly on the leader bike. Luckily, I was not the one who fell off the bike and hurled. Pobre newbies. Take it easy, loves.

I felt like I was on the first episode of a new season of “Biggest Loser” only instead of morbidly obese, I was surrounded by the moderately chubby. I have been both obese AND chubbs, and I am rooting for them to wear more AXE to kick more ass.

 

Did Kim Jong Il Like Cottage Cheese?

  By breakfasttobed | December 20, 2011 - 2:04 PM | , , , ,
6 Comments

I am in sugar overload. I seriously do not even want to think about eating one more cookie. I have made 30 batches of cookies since the beginning of November. I seriously can’t wait until there isn’t one more cookie to be baked. I obviously have many dozens to bake tonight and tomorrow night. I have so much dough in the freezer that I don’t have room to store really important things, like vodka.

I was over the moon to make something REALLY savory and healthy yesterday. It was like a return to normalcy. I have continued to make really healthful food for my family, but I wasn’t developing recipes like I normally do. I was ordering a lot of delivery making a lot of the same old, same old

While working on yet another sweets recipe yesterday, I was glancing at the nutritional information on my calcium enriched 1% milk cottage cheese. It had 12 grams of protein and 20% of your RDA for calcium in just 80 calories! I started to wonder how I could sneak it into other recipes. I know I really started to HATE cottage cheese after I tried to low-carb it for awhile, and sometimes, I still need the flavor to be disguised.

I have seen other bloggers throw it into pancakes and oatmeal and other sweet applications. That is all well and good, but I am about to start eating eggs and snap peas for breakfast, lunch, and dinner until about April. I am sugared out. I am also Rudolphed out, but that is a story for another time.

Being meatless Monday, I thought macaroni and cheese would be a good plan. I am sure that this is exactly what Paul McCartney and Michael Pollen meant when they said go meatless once a week. Just.Add.Cheese.

The only problem is, the Captain HATES macaroni and cheese. I needed to make it so that he would eat it. I needed to make it spicy. Spicy enough that he would be interested in it, but not so spicy that the Cop wouldn’t eat it. Frank’s Red Hot for the win.

Print
Low Fat but still delicious Mac and Cheese

Ingredients

  • 1 cup calcium enriched, low fat, cottage cheese, pureed until smooth
  • 2 cups evaporated skim milk
  • 2 T earth balance or butter
  • 2 T flour
  • 1 package 2% milk shredded sharp cheddar (8 oz bag)
  • salt and pepper
  • 1/4 tsp onion powder
  • 1/4 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/8 tsp (or just one shake) dry mustard (I ONLY use Coleman)
  • 1 box whole wheat or pasta "plus" rotini or macaroni rigate
  • Frank's Red Hot to taste
  • Optional-bread crumbs or cracker crumbs for topping

Instructions

  1. Cook pasta one minute fewer than the box directions
  2. drain and set aside
  3. In a saucepan on medium high melt butter
  4. whisk in flour
  5. slowly whisk in evaporated milk and cottage cheese
  6. bring to a simmer and add garlic, onion, and mustard powder
  7. add salt, pepper, and franks to taste
  8. whisk in cheese
  9. mix with macaroni and pour into a greased 9-13" pan top with optional crumbs
  10. Bake for 30 minutes at 350F or until bubbly.
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Right now I am ITCHING to get to BodyPump and go for a nice, long run before a night of marathon drinking baking. I also have a few more presents to wrap, and a house to clean. I am not overwhelmed AT ALL.

I am also ready to STOP seeing Kim Jong Il in a glass box all over my teevees. I mean, he was a jazzy sort of fellow, with his designer dictator shades, but the glass casket thing has got to stop. Can you imagine the fingerprints? Better yet, can you imagine being the one to have to windex that box? Do you use microfiber? Newsprint? Would the newsprint have the news of his death on it? Would that be weird?

 

Don’t Shoot Off Your Own Ween.

  By breakfasttobed | October 19, 2011 - 2:21 PM | , ,
4 Comments

Dear Me, yesterday stunk. Lo siento for lack of afternoon or evening post. The cop and I switched back to cable because we kept losing DirectTv reception and they almost doubled our bill for less channels, so we ended up saving a crap ton of money going with Cablevision. Installation took forever. Yay. I missed my beloved bodypump, ate a crappy hamburger, and moped. I DID manage to score a convertible booster seat for the peanut for FIFTY PERCENT off because my Babies R Us isn’t going to carry it anymore!!! Apparently, SW Brooklyn isn’t fancy enough for the $300 price tag! (I didn’t pay that!) All of the sudden, it was like Christmas!!!!

I was cheerful enough to come home and make cupcakes with the Captain. By the way, making cupcakes with a three year old means that every few minutes he runs over to stir and take a lick of batter. He convinced me to buy funfetti cupcake mix and frosting. You know what? Really not awful. Not super fab, but not awful.

What? You didn’t know pumpkins grew on trees?

Anyways, my DVR is all screwy now, I can’t rewind regular television yet, and I am all around crabby. Doesn’t Optimum know that if I can’t watch Hoda hate her life with Kathie Lee I WILL SURELY DIE?!??!? I am seriously waiting for Hoda to just bitch-slap her one day. It’s going to be amazing and I am going to see it.

Speaking of bitch slap, was anyone else watching the GOP debate last night? Who else thought that Mittens was going to take the gloves off and just go to town on Gov Perry? I was really disappointed when I didn’t see blood. Something of substance has got to happen eventually.

Back to me and my problems. Elijah has decided to take up foam sword fencing as an alternative form of exercise. It also may be possible that he just likes playing with his foam sword. Either way, when the revolution comes, he’ll be ready.

He needed a Buzz Lightyear gun as well.

When you don’t have a holster, apparently you use your underpants. Pretty sure that’s how Plaxico almost became Plaxiquette. That is why we need tighter gun regulations, people. So that people don’t accidentally shoot off their own weens. (Although, it would stop them from breeding, so hmmmm…) He also dragged his sister into this.

Stand back, people.

One GREAT thing about having cable again is EXERCISE TV ON DEMAND!! Oh hex yeah. Did I miss bodypump? Yes. Is the sky leaking? Yes. No problem! There is a high intensity bootcamp just begging to be played. I am sure that Elijah will keep right up. Or he’ll just laugh at me-it remains to be seen.

I am obviously a sick individual, so I have often wondered what REAL Marine Corps boot camp would be like. I can’t be the only one who thinks this way. I think that could be a great way to build revenue for our troops! Let dumb ace’s like me do a week of basic in exchange for cash money and also comedy for our troops. No, I wouldn’t be performing, just trying would be good enough for them to laugh their boots off. Please, give me the biggest, gayest, drill instructor you have. No one can make you feel fat and inspired like a gay man. Put that man in a place of authority with a uniform and gun, and I’d be sweating like a 40 year old woman sitting next to Jon Bon Jovi in a movie theatre. Yes, he did just accidentally elbow your boob.

Now for bootcamp for wusses. What would be Semper Fi for moms? Semper Wi(pe)? No Semper Whi(ne)? Either way. That.

A Good Way To Get Pinkeye.

  By breakfasttobed | October 11, 2011 - 2:20 PM | , ,
2 Comments

Oh, holiday weekends, how I love thee. I don’t love how you make my gym close at mother trucking 5 pm!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY. WHY!?!?!? When Chris Columbus was busy pillaging did he also state that treadmills should be shut down and BodyPump should disappear? I AM PRETTY SURE TREADMILLS DIDN’T EVEN EXIST. I think the best exercise they got was running from rats and towards occupied land. USA!USA!USA!

Like most other Americans, I was out celebrating the true meaning of Columbus Day-shopping the sales. These kids are still just slightly too young to sew their own clothes, (Who needs bathroom breaks?) so we headed to the suburbs to hit the mall, Target, the Asian supermarket, and dinner. For some reason, the Asians didn’t get the hint about Columbus Day, and didn’t offer any sales. My husband says that if white people tried to invade and occupy their country, they would just take all our money and make us poisonous toys. Leave it to the Chinese guy to put it all in perspective.

Best purchase of the day? Cupholder/snackholder for the Captain’s chair.

I also got some fab hats and headbands for baby. Everyone will ALWAYS know she’s a girl. -Insert me singing Tom Jones’ “She’s a Lady….wohohohohoh, she’s a lady,” please refrain from tossing your lady underpinnings at me, I think that’s a good way to get pinkeye.

yes. she is just that cute.

Now, I have got to get my fitness on! Though I must have circled Roosevelt Field Mall 1800x yesterday and must’ve walked 6-7 mi yesterday, while carrying LeeLee and my diaper bag, I feel the need. The need for speed. (even if my speed is an 8.5 minute mile-don’t judge) I also feel the need to pump it up. I’m taking the intense class tonight. I really hope no one pukes on me. That could really cut into my workout.

When people puke around you, are you a co-puker or a hair holder?

-hair holder

Did you take advantage of any fab sales?

A Real Stiff One

  By breakfasttobed | September 22, 2011 - 2:08 AM |
4 Comments

If you have ever taken public transportation at rush hour, you wish they made these in adult sizes.

I saw that picture, looked at that baby’s face, and cracked up. Doesn’t that face just scream “comfy?”

Moving on.

I am not a naturally limber person. I tend to tense up, get stiff, and not flex at all. It’s great for things like blowing through the unsuspecting grip of two weaklings during a game of “Red Rover,” but it’s not so good for most other things, like tying your shoes, stretching out after a run or complicated adult expressions of love getting the remote from Tim.

Which is why, for me, stretching is so important. I have to treat my muscles like the kids on “Supernanny” and whip them into shape. It’s generally about the last thing I want to do. I normally forget until after I’ve had a glass of wine and then I do it either too much or half assed. I am pretty sure the NASM does NOT recommend stretching while drinking. It could probably lead to injury or pregnancy.

After a long run, as much as I hate to, I try to do 10 minutes of foam rolling and deep stretching. My husband is a great stretching partner. He is actually “naturally” (just not right now) more flexible than me. I think it has to do with all of his Kung Fu training.

Yes. My husband once did this.

 

I picked the guy with the awesome shoes for your viewing pleasure. Just to let you know, I am going to catch hell for making fun of a Shaolin Monk. Tim is forever singing their praises. “my sifu this, my sifu that.” Somehow they taught him how to be patient enough with me while I have PMS, so I guess they are pretty awesome.

But I have been noticing I am not taking it far enough anymore. I need to go deeper. Unfortunately, my stretch class was cancelled for tonight, but I am really hoping it’s on for tomorrow night. I really want to be able to go deeper not stiffer. So tomorrow night is going to look like this: Run 5, BodyPump, nurse, Stretch class.

I am pretty pumped.