Sorry for the SUPPPPER late post, WordPress was being a dick.
This week is not only “What I Ate Wednesday”, thanks to Jenn. It’s also “Get Cat out of her box” Wednesday, which isn’t as dirty as it sounds. Last week, I did ZUMBA! This week, I took an MMA class with my besties, my personal, self-proclaimed Gaysian, Will.
Let me tell you about MMA. It’s hard. Really hard. It’s also a far piece different to spar with someone who doesn’t fully intend on bedding you later. Apparently, in a normal class, it is unusual for your sparring partner to just absorb all of your kicks and punches, while teaching you how to maneuver your opponent so you always end up on top. (of the fight!!)
Your opponent fights back. Hard. With riotous enthusiasm. Apparently, I was never sparring with the cop so much as it was the cop letting me kick his ass and roll him over my shoulder like so much luggage. Granted, the cop has taken me down a time or two to show me how it’s done, but it was expected. With my Gaysian? I never saw it coming.
What I did see coming was the inevitable dirty jokes that would arise in any gay man’s mind about how I should be better at martial arts because I’m married to a Chinese guy. Innuendo everywhere. I suppose I have that when I spar with the cop, but its underlying intention is a bit…different.
“You know, in WuShu, it’s all about the THRUST of your weapon”-W
“I am fairly certain your’s is always in its scabbard, so I think I’m more equipped”-Me
“Scabbard is silly European word…you want ‘sheath’”-W
“Sheath is an English word too, dumbass…you know what? I can break down a glock, clean it, get it back to ready, and have you on the floor, before you could even get your first shot off.”-Me
“I think I read that same thing on Grindr last night”-W (google grindr if this confused you)
This whole conversation was happening as Will was pinning my arm so far behind me that I could have felt myself up from behind my back. I had to tap out.
Never, ever, try to keep up a witty repartee with a WuShuWill-I-AmGaysian. It will end badly for your shoulder joint.
I LOVED MMA. I am going back. All the time. I burned over 600cals in 55 minutes, and every muscle on my body hurts, even my cheeks from laughing soooo dammmn hard. Of course, I’ll bring my very own gay Bruce Lee. Though, there is a gay bar called “the dragon” nearby. I’m totally taking him just so I can say “Enter The Dragon” before we go in.
It’s also WIAW, so you know, I ate.
sweet potato for breakfast, lunch was noodle soup with a mango snack, dinner was Asian Meatballs, yung choy and rice, and snack was a salad.
The meatballs were AWESOME. Who knew Asian Meatballs could make my mouth so happy?
Asian Style Meatballs
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Keywords: appetizer entree Chinese
Ingredients (12 meatballs)
- 1 lb ground sirloin
- 6 oz button mushrooms
- 1 tsp ginger, grated
- 1 tbsp chopped garlic
- 2 tbsp low-sodium soy sauce
- 4 scallions, whites included
- 1/2 cup cilantro
- 1 tbsp reduced sodium oyster sauce
- 3/4 cup quick oats
- 1 egg
- 1 tbsp sambal sauce or other chili sauce
- cracked black pepper
- a drizzle of hoisin sauce
chop the mushrooms very small and saute for 10 minutes in a mostly dry pan (just a bit of PAM)
in a food pro, combine all other ingredients (it’s easiest. you can make them by chopping all the veg really small and mixing, too.)
stir in mushrooms
form into 12 even balls
top with hoisin
roast in an oven for 30 minutes at 350F