ONE WEEK UNTIL THE BOSTON MARATHON!!!
*insert nervous vomiting here.*
Ok, Ok, let’s get beyond the nervous gag reflex and move onto happier subjects. Namely: AUDIOBOOKS!
Because, it’s time for:
This week’s narrator is OH SO very satisfying. Actually, she was the first narrator I ever listened to!
When I was pregnant with the Peanut, I was placed on bed rest. I don’t know if you know this, but BED REST SUCKS YOUR SOUL OUT OF YOUR EARS AND SLINGS ARROWS AT YOUR HAPPY.
Beyond that, my hyperemesis was giving me such bad vertigo that I couldn’t read without getting dizzy. I would get about ten pages into something, and spots would appear on the page, and the nausea would become so overwhelming that I would have to lie on my side with a pillow over my head for complete darkness. It was miserable.
I needed an alternative. I’d watched every Golden Girls episode 198357x, I could quote entire scenes from Wes Anderson films, and DJ Lance from Yo Gabba Gabba had infiltrated my dreams at night.
On a whim, I took out my 3g iPhone to see if Amazon sold audiobooks. (This was earrrrly 2011, and I don’t think I even owned a KINDLE at that point.) Lo and behold! HUZZAH! There was an APP FOR THAT.
That night, and I think it was release day, I purchased my very first audiobook:
I had never before heard of the author. I had certainly not heard the narrator read another story. However, the subject matter intrigued me, the narrator had killer ratings, and JUST LOOK AT THOSE SHOES, THAT SCYTHE, that manicure.
I listened to the brief sample, and I thought “well this is different, but okkkkk.”
An hour later, I was hooked. I didn’t come up for air until it was finished. My husband and son must have thought I’d gone into some weird pregnant-lady trance to cope with the drudgery of being forced to lie about like some sort of land-stranded manatee.
The narrator, Lorelei King, was my gateway drug. She was the one to give me my first auralgasm. I was blown away that having the book read to me could not only be an efficient manner in which to feed my incessant need for books, but that it could also enhance the enjoyment of the experience of reading.
Lorelei King’s narrations are second to none. It’s impossible to tally the numbers of characters she has going at any one gallop. I’m certain that she lives with a cast of at least 50 (that I could count in research for this post) in her head every day.
I’m not lying. I counted fifty individual voices. I’d also be lying if I told you I didn’t buy more of the books she’s narrated as “research.”
Sidenote: did you know they’ve put Louisa May Alcott on audio? I squeed. (loudly, and to tangible, physical effect.)
She narrates TWO of my favorite series: Mercy Thompson and the above mentioned Charley Davidson. I’ve reached the point where I don’t even buy the kindle version of those books, JUST the audiobook. If Lorelei King isn’t reading it to me?
Lorelei King’s comedic timing could set the international clock it’s so fucking perfect. I’m not kidding. There have been times, where I was just in awe. In one of the Charley books, I can’t remember which, Charley makes a very funny quip about how she acquired a jockey from either a hockey or soccer team. I remember A: laughing hysterically, and B: being completely wowed. It was as though Lorelei King was absolutely making it up on the fly, just as though she’d thought of the joke just then. Exactly as intended.
Want to know the WILDEST thing (in my opinion) about Lorelei King?
Ok, so most narrators have a pretty recognizable speaking voice. If you hear them in a conversation, you recognize their speech as their “base” voice. That vaguely familiar inner-monologue or “God voice” that runs through the books they narrate.
Lorelei King sounds NOT ONE FUCK like her conversational voice you hear over the radio or in an interview and it SCREWED WITH MY DAMN MIND.
That means that every single voice this woman records is a character. Let that sink in.
She’s also apparently quite lovely, because when I asked her on the twitter if she had a favorite sweet, she was awesome and responded.
She happened to mention two of my favorite things: pistachio and meringue.
Immediately, I thought of my latest NYC obsession: merveilleux. It’s a Belgian/French treat made of meringue cookies stacked with fresh whipped cream, and rolled in something awesome. I’ve made a few variations, and I have to tell you, this one is my favorite so far.
Pistachio and Orange Blossom Merveilleux
A delicate Merveilleux with orange blossom whipped cream and rolled in toasted pistachios.
Pistachio and Orange Blossom Merveilleux
Prep Time: depends if you make your own m
Cook Time: see above.
Keywords: bake appetizer breakfast dessert cake cookie
Ingredients (6 merveilleux)
- 12 meringue cookies. I like this recipe.
for the cream
- 10 oz box heavy whipping cream
- 1/2 cup confectioners sugar, sifted
- 1 tsp orange blossom water
- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
- roasted, salted, crushed pistachios
- orange or clementine zest.
to make the whipped cream
whip the cream in a mixer with the whisk attachment on high
when it starts to peak, sift in the sugar
slowly add water and extract
place six of the meringues top up
pipe or scoop a few tbsp of cream onto each meringue
place another meringue on top, face down
smear the sides of each meringue stack with whipped cream like you would frost a cake
roll in pistachio
freeze for 30 minutes
pipe a rosette on top of each stack and top with zest and nuts!
EAT THIS RTF AWAY!