Shoving Wieners Down Your Throat.

Do you ever watch competitive eating competitions? They often keep their hand partially in their mouth to avoid having food come back out. It’s foul. They are dominating their gag reflex and initiating mine. A 90 lb woman eating 60 hot dogs in one sitting? What about that doesn’t scream “oh dear G-d, this is … Read more…

Uncle Jerry Is A Pain In The Arse.

It’s the final countdown!!! The last days of calm before the bedlam surrounding Thanksgiving. The holiday has a tendency to lend itself to familial bickering, belt loosening, and deal seeking. We are all so consumed with holiday perfection and post holiday shopping that we forget to take the time to appreciate it for the day … Read more…

Martha’s Juicy Meat.

I think Martha Stewart and I could be friends. We both like to cook, bake, craft, and learn. We are also both quasi-socialist, we love the color gray, sleep very little, and make dirty jokes. What? Please tell me I am not the only person who watches Martha thinking “that woman knows how she sounds, … Read more…

Swine and Virgins

It’s beginning to taste a lot like Christmas. Christmas and failure. I *really* wanted a different oatmeal for breakfast this morning. I get tired of the same old same old. Apple, banana, cinnamon, pumpkin, people, repeat. (Don’t tell me you haven’t had soylent green oatmeal. I won’t believe you.) As in all experimentations, e.g. hairstyles, … Read more…

A Confluence of Christmas Confections

Finding the perfect holiday confection can be tricky. I always love to bring NY treats with me to Ohio for the holidays. In Canton, Ohio, there are 2 really great confectioners; Harry London’s and Heggy’s. They are the chocolates that I grew up with. I used to anxiously await our trips to Heggy’s for a … Read more…