My son is quite possibly the sweetest, cutest, most loving, most disgusting pile of ick on the planet right now.
He has a cold. This makes him at once adorable, cuddly, sweet, and nas-tay. I literally want to hug him within an inch of his breath, or put him in a bubble attached to a nose frida.
He has gone through so many tissues, that his tissue bucket looks like Slimer got in a no-holds barred grudge match with every single “Scooby Doo” sheet-covered man ghost and landed in a tupperware of doom.
Today is the kind of day that I wish I lived in a place where I could pitch a tent in the backyard and send the cop and the captain out to sleep in it until this goes away.
Don’t feel bad for THEM!! I am SURE they would do the same to me for 4 days a month.
“Here Mama, here’s your laptop and your chips and your chocolate, see you in a week!”
There is only one remedy for this particular situation.
Mommy makes homemade chicken noodle soup plots to run away. Literally. RUN away. (for about an hour.)
you know you’re feeling better already.
- 1 ORGANIC chicken 4lbs (give or take)
- 2 bay leaves
- 15 grinds of pepper
- 1 whole bunch of parsley
- 7 carrots
- 1 lg yellow onion
- one bunch celery
- one head of garlic
- kosher salt
- half of a bag of whole wheat egg noodles
- 2 T EVOO
Roughly chop 3 carrots, 3-4 stalks of celery, and onion. Cut head of garlic in half. Place chicken in DEEP stockpot. Add chopped celery, carrot, onion, and garlic. Top with 2T salt, pepper, half of the bunch of parsley, and bay leaves. JUST cover with cold water. Only submerge, don’t drown it, it’s not your feelings, it’s a chicken. Bring to a boil and boil 2-3 minutes, back it down to LOW and simmer 1.5 HOURS.
At the end of the simmer period, pull out chicken and set aside to cool. Strain broth into another pot. Give your dog the carrots, you’ll have one happy bitch. Finish peeling and chopping the remainder of the carrots, celery, and parsley.
Heat evoo in the stock pot on med-high. Add chopped carrots and celery into evoo and sautee one or two minutes, add a tiny bit more salt. TINY bit. Add parsley. Pour in broth and warm it slowly. Pick the chicken off of the bones and add to broth and veg. Add noodles and cook until tender. BOOM! You just fixed your life. You’re welcome, America.
What do you CRAVE when you’re sick?
I am an odd slovak hillbilly. I want tomatoes and dumplings and paprikash
Do you have any odd rituals when you’re sick?
I take about a thousand showers and drink a crapton of tea. And then I shower again.