Go Batshit or Go Home.

Have you ever seen “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation?” Have you ever watched, saying to yourself, “really, come on, NO ONE decorates that much. NO ONE is that nuts, Bah to the mother effing humbug.” Well my loves, I can assure you, you were incorrect. A little known fact about the neighborhoods surrounding mine, is that … Read more…

You Eat the Blue Balls, Britney.

My foot is no better today than yesterday. This is highly irritating to me. I fully expected to go to bed and wake up with a pain-free, size 8 foot. If I can drop 20 clothing sizes, (I was a 26 at my highest) why can’t I drop a measly 3 shoe sizes? SOMEONE GET … Read more…

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Hobbits Don’t Ride Bicycle Machines

Today was fun. Obviously, my idea of fun is foot X-rays. I am a par-tay animal. I get to the doctor, who KNOWS I am a runner, and he says to me; “Did you do this when you were running?” Me: “I don’t know, it only started hurting after I was done running.” Him: “How … Read more…