Category Archives: Thanksgiving recipes

Pepper Spray is the Newest Turkey Flavor

  By breakfasttobed | November 25, 2011 - 2:20 PM | , ,
6 Comments

It’s over! It’s all over! Oh wait…Christmas. The feast of the fat pants is behind us and the gluttony of gifts is before us. I am going to try not to be crabby about the whole situation, but the whole thing has become so ridiculously commercial. Everyone trying to “out-gift” each other and shopping ON Thanksgiving to get the best gimmicks. One woman PEPPER-SPRAYED a crowd at a Los Angeles Wal-Mart to get the edge on an X-Box.

People really need to learn that pepper-spray is not the new, cool way to say “please step aside.” Why can’t people stick to what works for millions of toddlers and geriatric people everywhere? Farting or crapping one’s self. Effective AND funny.

I do like giving and getting gifts. I do like Christmas. I just happen to think that escaping from your family on a national holiday by waiting in line for 48 hours, and then trampling other people to get the hottest and latest is lame.  No X-Box is worth becoming an asshat for.

Do you know what ISN’T lame? Pie. Also? Bread and honey butter. Yesterday though, Tim and I came to the conclusion that no matter how juicy the bird-we prefer chicken over turkey. We simply don’t love turkey. We like pernil and chicken and fish and lamb–not turkey. Next year we’re doing pernil and chicken with Thanksgiving sides.

Peas and Crayons is doing another fab “What I Ate Wednesday” only-it’s the Thanksgiving Edition!! Head over there and Check it out!

 

We had turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, King’s Highway Bakery bread, honey butter, salad, green beans, mashed potatoes, gravy, and sweet potato casserole.

Oh-and pie. With just a smidge of whipped cream.

The whip cream to pie ratio is very important. Perfect is 3:1.

All of this awesomeness AND my 11th batch of cookies??? CAN YOUR HEART STAND IT?!??! PUT YOUR RIOT HELMET ON AND STEP BACK, THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET CRAZY.


Slovak Tea Cookies

  • 1 cup softened butter
  • 1/2 cup powdered sugar + more for topping
  • 1T vanilla
  • 1 3/4 cup flour
  • 1 cup crushed pecans

Preheat oven to 275F whip butter and sugar , add in vanilla, sifted flour and crushed pecans, stir. Scoop 2t scoops onto parchment lined cookie sheets and bake for 40 minutes. Let cool and sift more powdered sugar over the top.

Gild the lily-add cinnamon to the powdered sugar for the topping.

They call these Slovak “Tea” Cookies, but if you’re a real Slovak, your tea is vodka and not as good for dipping, so you might want to stick with good old American tea.

How was your Thanksgiving?

Pepper Spray anyone?

Orange Ginger Cranberry Sauce

  By breakfasttobed | November 23, 2011 - 7:14 PM | ,
4 Comments

The countdown begins. I am now 24 hours from my trip to the asylum masterpiece. I can check one more item off of my “must make” list.  Cranberry Sauce. I like it cold, (just like my attitude) so I have to make it the day before. It’s so easy. It’s easier than oatmeal. I wouldn’t want to eat a bowl full though, it’s a condiment. It’s perfect to slather all over your day-after turkey sandwiches.

Cranberry Sauce to Slap your Mother for. Ginger Spiced Cranberry Sauce

  • 1 bag cranberries
  • 1 cup orange juice
  • 1 T orange zest
  • 1.5 tsp grated ginger
  • .5 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/3 cup dark brown sugar
  • 1/3 cup toasted chopped pecans

Stick it all (save for the pecans) in a saucepan and simmer for 15 to 20 mins until the berries pop and release their pectin and thicken. Take off the heat and stir in the pecans.

More Than One Way To Lohan

  By breakfasttobed | November 22, 2011 - 1:27 PM | , , , ,
4 Comments

I think the plague might be leaving our home. This is fantastic news as I have absolutely no plans to go shopping black Friday.  I can take that day to run and eat leftovers. Hopefully the mens will eat the turkey and leave me ALL OF THE SIDES.

I figure that if I eat enough sweet potatoes and butternut squash I’ll never need glasses. I’ll also turn orange which will save me a lot of money when I go to get Lohan’d. (in this reference, getting Lohan’d does not refer to chasing an 8 ball with a bottle of Jack, it refers to getting sprayed until you look like a Jack O Lantern) Also, if I hoard all of the rolls and pie, no one will fight over my homemade cinnamon honey butter or spiced whip cream, because I will have eaten all of it.

It’s a good thing I’m not making big portions, or else I’d be one.big.portion.

I did make a tester pie for Thanksgiving. By tester pie, I mean *extra* pie, the cop, the captain, and I will CUT SOMEONE over my pecan pie. CUT SOMEONE!!!

What? My crust is wonky? Have YOU ever let a 3 year old help you crimp a crust? THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CRUST EVER!!! FORMED BY THE HANDS OF MY SWEET LITTLE MAN!!

Put It In Your Mouth Pecan Pie

1 cup sugar
1 cup corn syrup (I use 1/2 dark and 1/2 light)
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
4 eggs  ROOM TEMPERATURE!! VERY IMPORTANT!
1/4 cup butter-slightly browned
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1 1/2 cups pecans, coarsely broken and toasted +16-20 to arrange on top (optional)
1 unbaked deep dish pie shell (I use Martha Stewart’s Pate Brisee recipe)

1.In saucepan boil sugar and corn syrup together for 2 to 3 minutes; set aside to cool slightly. (if you wanted to add some bourbon or chocolate chips, this would be the time)
2.In large bowl beat eggs lightly and very slowly pour the syrup mixture into the eggs, stirring constantly.
3.At this point I like to strain the mixture to make sure it’s smooth and lump free.
4.Stir in butter, vanilla, and pecans and pour into crust.
5.Bake in preheated 425 degree oven for 10 mins, drop to 350 bake another 35-let cool as long as your husband can stand not eating it. (preferably overnight!!!)

Did you help bake for Turkey Day as a youngin?

-Both of my Grandmother’s let me help. I miss helping them. It was really special.

Are you planning a turkey trot on Thanksgiving?

-now that I’m coming out of the bubonz, I just might!!

Bring On Ze Pie, Bring On Ze Ass.

  By breakfasttobed | November 20, 2011 - 6:24 PM | , ,
16 Comments

I thought I’d lure you in first.

Remember my Thanksgiving prep? It started today. Instead of making one, giant pie for 4 people,(one of whom hasn’t any teeth) I made several mini-pies that I could freeze and thaw as we want.

I don’t know about you, but I freaking hate making pie crust, and I feel like buying it is admitting defeat. (I’ve had more than one tearful Thanksgiving with pie crusts and temperamental ovens.)  This recipe HAS NO CRUST. No crazy crazy amounts of butter, no crimping, no crying, no scraping off all of the pumpkie pie off of the crust because it adds 150+calories to your slice. (especially when you want it with cinnamon ice cream)

Mind you, this is not a healthy recipe. I didn’t lighten it up. I added butter toasted crumbs an full fat, sweetened sour cream to it. I plan on serving it with a dollop of ice cream. I am actually watching my thighs get bigger eating this. If only I could magically transport that fat to my flat ass, life would be splendid. BRING ON ZE PIE!! BRING ON ZE ASS!

These little bits of heaven are baked in greased ramekins, in a bain marie, and topped when cool.

Mini Pumpkin Pies.

For the pie.

  • 3T Wondra Flour
  • 2T Pumpkin Pie Spice
  • 3 eggs
  • 3/4 C dark brown sugar
  • 1/2 C white sugar
  • 1t vanilla
  • 2 cups pumpkin puree (unsweetened)
  • 3/4 cup evaporated skim milk

Preheat oven to 350F. Place 6-8 greased ramekins (depending on size) in a roasting pan or cake pan. The pie itself couldn’t be easier. Mix everything together. The order of things doesn’t matter. I used a whisk attachment on my mixer for 3 minutes. Pour batter evenly into equal amounts in each ramekin. Fill the cake pan with water until the level is 1/2 to 3/4 up the sides of the ramekins. Bake approximately 55 minutes to 1 hour

For the toppings.

  • 3 Biscoff or gingersnap cookies per ramekin (crushed)
  • 2T butter
  • 3/4 cup whole fat sour cream
  • 3T powdered sugar
  • dash of pumpkin pie spice

melt the butter in a saucepan or skillet on med-high. Add in crushed cookies and toast. set aside. Whisk together sugar and sour cream. Top the cooled pies with cookie mixture and sour cream. Serve and devour.

Uncle Jerry Is A Pain In The Arse.

  By breakfasttobed | November 15, 2011 - 2:48 PM | , , ,
5 Comments

It’s the final countdown!!! The last days of calm before the bedlam surrounding Thanksgiving. The holiday has a tendency to lend itself to familial bickering, belt loosening, and deal seeking. We are all so consumed with holiday perfection and post holiday shopping that we forget to take the time to appreciate it for the day it is. It is an awesome opportunity to eat eat entirely too much food, watch the longest, and most boring version of “UP” you’ve ever seen, finally tell Uncle Jerry that he’s a pain in the ass, and inhale pie.

I FINALLY have my menu decided. For every rich, and decadent dish, I’ll have one or more healthy options. I am also going to make 5 cup salad because my family is a big old bunch of hillbillies and we don’t know how to have Thanksgiving without it.

Five Cup Salad

  • 1 C shredded coconut
  • 1 C sour cream
  • 1 C pineapple niblets
  • 1 C mandarin oranges
  • 1 C mini marshmallows

-stir, chill, and serve.

There is also a lot of food I can make ahead of next Thursday, to make the whole day go a lot smoother.

If you stare at it, it looks stressful. Then again, if you stare at a straight man trying to fold a fitted sheet, it looks stressful. It’s all about tucking in the corners first, unless you want an ugly ball on your closet floor. I know that sounds extremely sexist, and it is, but I’ve yet to meet one that can. Hell, most women can’t. Men can’t fold fitted sheets, women don’t spend hours trying to lick their own elbow (I’ll spend 5 minutes trying to do it, tops.) or figuring out where Libya is. (Apparently, that takes considerably longer.)

Thank the Lord this guy LOVES a map-and world policy, I’m sure.

The hat helps you take him seriously as a world leader.

What is the most stressful part of your holiday?

-this year it’s probably going to avoid the above pictured gentleman’s questions about “Happy Feet 2″

Do you have a “dirty secret” food that you love?

-obvie 5 cup salad