Category Archives: review

Muay Thai Toddler Wrangling

  By breakfasttobed | February 13, 2013 - 10:24 AM | , , , , , , ,
5 Comments

Gird your loins, scamps. The whole of today’s news programming will be SOTU responses, political GIFs, and water bottles.

I will talk about food. I will also talk about the gym. We can all eat, right? (left?)

For a role I am working on, I was set up with a new trainer. For this role, I have to achieve a “harder” look. This is coming off a series of auditions/roles where I had to have a more “feminine” look. (their words, not mine. ladies come in all shapes and sizes.) 

The trainer I was given insisted I only consume 15g of sugar per day, 60g of protein, and 14oo calories.

I was dubious. To me, knowing my activity level, that seemed LOW. I live in NYC, so A: I walk a LOT, B: I drink more coffee than what is probably healthy, but if you drink that much on an empty stomach, you’re asking for trouble.

On a typical day, I walk a few or several miles, go to crossfit 3-4x/week, and do 45 minutes of cardio 6x/week. Not to mention rehearsals/housecleaning/toddler wrangling.

I decided to take it to my experts, my sister wives, Gina and Jenn. Gina also does Crossfit, and has recently completed the Paleo challenge, and Jenn is a dietitian (call her a diet tits, she loves it) Jenn also knows how active I am, and the foods I truly love.

They both reacted with a “what the eff? Not enough calories, Cat!!” Precisely what I thought. I emailed my trainer.

I wrote: “I don’t think that is enough calories to sustain me, and do to my body what needs to be done.”

He immediately re-buffed my complaints, telling me in not so many words that this is his area of expertise, and I shouldn’t question him.

He is right that I am not a trainer, I’m not. He was wrong in that I shouldn’t question him. I’m not in congress either, yet I question them every day. In both instances, I get an a-hole response. Well, I get to vote who I want to represent me, and I get to choose who trains me. It wasn’t going to be that guy. When will service people learn that being condescending isn’t a good business model? If Tina of Best Body Fitness lived near me, she’d be my trainer, but alas, she does not.

Therefore, I needed to make other arrangements. Thankfully, the Viking knows approximately 495734976 trainers. He found a trainer for me who took one look at my previous plan and said “that guy doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.” Of course, I immediately liked her for her use of foul language.

I am actually proud of myself for how I handled firing the old trainer…at first. I have a tendency to just tell people my honest opinion of them, and move on. That’s not always nice. I told him that I didn’t think we were meshing well together and I thought I’d go in a different direction for my training. He said that I wasn’t going to find a trainer who could do to my body what he could do to it. My sharp tongue made an appearance at his haughty tongue, and I’m not proud. It was a mistake. He deserved it, yes. The guy had said more than one asshole remark to me in the conversation, but I should have been more gracious and less like myself.

I responded with “Of course my new trainer can, she knows an active woman’s body and doesn’t need time to recover after.”

Totally inappropriate, but he really pissed me off with his semi-lude, barely veiled comment. This is why I can never have nice things.

My new trainer is awesome. She is a former Muay Thai fighter, mom, and marathoner. She is acerbic and hilarious. She has me eating CARBS before my cardio so that I don’t feel the need to fall over while rowing (and subsequently drown). She has me drinking recovery shakes. (did you know if you blend orange juice with pasteurized egg whites and vanilla pro powder it tastes JUST like an orange julius??) She doesn’t want me to quit Crossfit just to work with her. She’s designing a complimentary plan to work with my Crossfit, as well as working with my PT to get me back on the roads running.

The best thing? She’s designing ways I can incorporate my kids into my workouts. Amazing.

As Jenn would say, it’s time to “happy dance”.

An even happier dance, because I can have a FEW of these before I workout.

Almond Meringues.

They’re light as air, lower calorie for a dessert, and so, so good.

Do yourselves a favor, if you bake regularly, or like protein shakes, buy the pasteurized egg whites in a jar/carton. They’re easier to use, and you don’t waste yolk unnecessarily. I like eggology or EB or Lucerne if you’re on the West Coast.

almond meringues 4almond meringues 3

 

Almond Meringues

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: up to 2 hours

Keywords: bake appetizer snack dessert gluten-free soy-free vegetarian puffs

Ingredients (2 dozen meringues)

  • 1/3 cup egg whites
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 1/2 tsp almond extract
  • 1/2 tsp cream of tartar

Instructions

preheat oven to 200F

using a mixer with a whisk attachment beat the eggs on high to soft peaks

add cream of tartar

beat 30 seconds

add sugar while whisk is mixing very slowly, about 2 tbsp at a time

beat until nearly firm peaks

add extract and beat just a few seconds more

pour whites into a large piping bag fitted with whichever tip you prefer

pipe into 1″ mounds onto a silpat lined baking sheet,

using a wet finger, damp down the point

bake 1.5-2 hours or until dry all through.

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Beer Cheese Me.

  By breakfasttobed | February 6, 2013 - 10:24 AM | , , , , , ,
6 Comments

Yesterday, at the gym, the TVs were playing one show on a loop: “The Biggest Loser”. I’ll admit to having watched season 1-3, fascinated by the trainers (I still love them) and the courage it took for the contestants to stand in front of everyone and be weighed in their skivvies. Now, the show just gives me the skeeves.

America is a fat nation of fat shamers. In spite of the fact that a full 30% of its population is overweight or obese, the shrill of fat shaming has reached a fever pitch. This year, the show brings kids into it.

Somewhere in Hollywood, a producer said “I know what will help these kids battle obesity!!! PUBLIC HUMILIATION!!” More likely they had dollar signs in their eyes and evil in their black hearts. Perhaps they sold their soul, and simply couldn’t understand why this would be a bad idea.

When I was heavy, I didn’t wear shorts, let alone let someone film me vomiting from over-exertion. Hell, I’m only 10 stone now, and still do not want anyone to film me at the gym. It isn’t pretty. I think I make faces only the man should see. (British weight measurements sound better..I also measure my sugar by cubes and my awesomeness by how big my balls are)

I don’t think the answer to childhood obesity is to exploit children on national television. “Hey kids, you’ve clearly not been bullied enough! Let’s open you up to the scrutiny of millions!! I am SURE the kids at school will ONLY focus on the fact you were on TV, and definitely NOT why!!!” Moreover, I can understand wanting to pull your children out of dangerous habits and prevent permanent obesity, but what in the fresh hell would drive you to exploit your own kids like that? Money? Fame? Is it worth it? Probably not.

It also probably makes people think you’re a dick. Just saying.

Seriously. Kids are assholes. Not all of them, mind you, but trust me, some are just assholes.  I know this because I was tortured by said assholes. Tortured. I was tortured before twitter and facebook and horrible group boards. I was tortured before mass text messaging and google alert, and there were times I thought I’d not be able to go on. I simply cannot fathom how horrible bullying is now in the age of social media.

We cannot go on like this.

I don’t think anyone disagrees that the US needs to set a better course for our future. We’ve all but eliminated phys ed from our schools in favor of test prep. The food we serve in our cafeterias is often barely passable as food. Lower-income neighborhoods have easy access to fast food and convenience junk, but little else. Kids aren’t taught how to eat or why in our schools.

Tradition begets tradition, and in the US the tradition has become soaked in deep fryer oil in front of the television. I spent more than one evening in my youth, eating french fries while watching “Full House.” (insert daydreams about Uncle Jesse here) I am trying to do better by my children. I want them to appreciate movement. I want them to love the strength and energy the right foods gives them. I don’t want them tortured at school.

What do you think about weight-loss shows featuring kids?

Ok. Rant over.

Happier subject.

Cheese. Beer. together. Happiest marriage ever.

Even better? It doesn’t have to be absurdly unhealthy.

I grew up on the southern classic “pimento cheese”. It’s an amalgam of mayonnaise, cheddar cheese, butter, pimentos, and an asston of salt. Needless to say, it’s effing ridiculously delicious. I used to LOVE pimento cheese spread on bread, fried, and topped with potato chips after frying. Fried on cheese on butter on chips. What could be bad? Sure, one bite could give you a coronary, but you’d die happy.

Nowadays, that’s a once a year treat. That doesn’t mean I don’t crave it like Sarah Palin craves relevancy. I just don’t eat it. I find substitutes.

There is another hillbilly classic that not as many people know about, but is still absurdly yummy.

Beer Cheese Spread.

Typically made with an amber beer, cream cheese, full-fat cheddar, and mustard, it is decadent and heavenly. It’s also much easier to make less calorically dense. Using 2% plain chobani for the cream cheese, Guinness for the beer, and a reduced fat cheddar. I swear, you’re mixing it with beer, don’t freak, it still tastes fab.

It also makes a killer grilled cheese.

Beer Cheese Spread with Chobani

beer cheese spread

beer cheese spread 2

Beer Cheese Spread with Chobani

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: (rest time) overnight

Keywords: appetizer breakfast condiment entree sandwich side snack vegetarian soy-free nut-free cheese

Ingredients (1 1/2 cups)

  • 8 oz reduced fat cheddar (hand shredded)
  • 4 oz flat guinness
  • 3 tbsp 2% plain chobani
  • 2 cloves roasted garlic
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp black pepper
  • 1/2 tsp dry mustard
  • several generous dashes of Frank’s Red Hot
  • dash Worcestershire sauce
  • 1/4 tsp chipotle powder

Instructions

stir all ingredients together and refrigerate at least 8 hours

serve with crackers, as a grilled cheese, add to an omelet, eat on a cold sandwich with lettuce and tomato

hollow out a roma tomato and broil it inside (350F 15 minutes)

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Gray Hair and Gonorrhea.

  By breakfasttobed | January 16, 2013 - 9:32 AM | , , ,
3 Comments

A morning that doesn’t start with an entire box of Cheerios spilled on the floor, is a good day.  You’d be surprised how many times that’s happened. It’s staggering, really.

Today, I have a small bone to pick with the blogging community. It might be because I didn’t sleep last night, and might be in that place where I throw up my hands and say “awww, eff it.” Either way, the bone is there.

Bloggers NEVER seem to do anything but the most awesome and stellar reviews for products on their blog. With the exception of Jamie Grayson, from the Baby Gear Guide, I almost never read what seems like a genuine review. I also realize I am guilty of this. I have a tendency to only review things I like. That’s pretty disingenuous. There are plenty of things I’ve tried and said to myself “well, what the hell was that about?”

I know for a fact I’ve tried healthy recipes and cookbook recipes that I’ve thought were just terrrrrrible. Do I ever talk about these? No. Should I? Probably. I’m a fairly good judge of tasty food, and an even better judge for cooking/baking equipment.

For instance. Egg Poachers? I bought them after seeing them somewhere on the interwebs, can’t recall where. I thought they were totally silly after buying them. I never use them for poaching eggs. You know what they ARE good for? baking eggs or muffins. Individual protein muffins. Mise en place. Holding ketchup for the kids french fries, using as a blog prop. It was not a waste of money, I just don’t use it as intended. Sort of like those “back massagers” they sell at Brookstone. I’m sure they’re all *just* used for the back.

Also, the “Gazelle” by the ponytail princess, Tony Little? Unstable, built for crap, falls apart, and unless you’re going at a full-tilt, you’re not getting a great workout. If you DO go at a full-tilt, it will feel like you’re fully tilting over.

I understand that sponsored posts are just that…sponsored. You don’t bite the hand that feeds you. I also think that people should probably not waste their money, either.

So here is what I am going to do. In an effort to be transparent, if I use something, and I hate it for more reasons than just “it didn’t work for me”, I’ll tell you. If I find something I LOVE for more reasons than just “it’s convenient for me”, I’ll tell you.

I already told you about the gazelle. I’ll now tell you about something I ADORE, and yet, I’m in no way sponsored by this company. The opinions are my own, and not compensated.

I want to make out with my Cuisinart.  That’s a really bad idea with it having a giant swirling blade, btw. 12 cups of sexy chopping ability. Perfect pie crusts. Bread dough. Grinding my pills.  Making easy salsa, sofrito, recaito, remoulade, frozen banana soft serve. What do I use it most often for? Chopped salads. I use the top disk and whir the hell outta my salads. A salad that’s still crunch tastic that you can practically eat with a spoon. Perfect. The components are also dishwasher safe, and I’m lazy with dishes. I hate doing them like I hate gray hairs and gonorrhea.  I have had one of these things….I’ll let you decide which. (they both require special chemicals to treat!!)

I wish I knew how to quit you.

It makes living in a healthy way, and cooking in the same manner, easier.

Like for this marinated celery salad? Yeah. Top slicer.

 

It’s like the best love child between an Asian pickle and crudite. Marinated celery salad has the flavors of Asia, and the crunch of the oppressive Europeans. Delightful. (I’m a European, so shut it.) We’ve all heard about celery’s “negative calories”, which surprisingly doesn’t mean that the celery taunts you as you eat it. “dunk my ass in more spinach dip, fatass!!!” It means it’s essentially water and fiber, using more calories to digest than what the food contains. Neat, right? This is so easy, you don’t even need a recipe. Just a drizzle of honey, sesame oil (tiny drizzle) and plenty of rice vinegar, red wine vinegar, pepper flakes, and a tiny hint of tamari, and let marinate overnight. THAT’S IT!! So good. So. So. Good. marinated celery 4

marinated celery 3

The Revolution Will Be Blogged.

  By breakfasttobed | November 18, 2012 - 1:46 PM | , , ,
3 Comments

-This is a sponsored post. All of the opinions are mine, but I was compensated for this review.

Welcome to a very special edition of Sunday Sweet. Before Sandy, I was contacted about joining the #FinishRevolution and testing Finish Revolution Quantum Tablets. I was asked to write a reallly sticky recipe and not wash the dish until the next day.

I sort of kind of accidentally did one better, and didn’t wash the dish for 2 days. Yeah, I know, gross. Oops.

The recipe however? SO SO SO good, but DAYUM, was it ever STICKY. It was bottom of a subway car seat sticky, melted now and laters sticky, tons of brown sugar and juice caramelized sticky.

I’ll be darned if the tablets didn’t do exactly as they said they’d do. When I pulled out the dish from the dishwasher this morning, it was friggen sparkling clean. I wasn’t expecting this result, to be honest. I’ve always been a Cascade girl, I come from a long line of Cascade loving dishwashing type folks. I was fairly biased.

I was fairly floored.

Sweet and Sour Pomegranate Pork Chops.

That was this morning. I didn’t rinse the dish before I put it in (and left it for two days…oops) I did nothing but clear it of debris. And it shines.

Let me tell you about this recipe, everyone went nuts for it. It’s got a definite Asian flair, but has a certain, almost Eastern European feel to it with the apple cider vinegar and schnitzel type fry. It takes a bit of time to reduce the sauce, but it’s easier than it sounds and is totally worth it.

 

sweet and sour pomegranate pork chops

by Cat Tan

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cook Time: 10 minutes

Keywords: fry entree

Ingredients

For The Sauce

  • 1/3 cup low sodium soy sauce
  • 2 cups cranberry pomegranate 100% juice blend
  • 1/3 cup apple cider vinegar
  • 1/4 cup brown sugar
  • 1″ nub of ginger, grated
  • 2 cloves of garlic, grated
  • 1/3 cup craisins

for the pork

  • 1lb thinly sliced pork cutlets
  • 1/2 cup corn starch
  • 3 cups grapseed oil (for frying)
  • salt and pepper

Instructions

combine all sauce ingredients in a sauce pan on medium-low and reduce by half

for the pork, heat the oil in a cast iron skillet until it reaches 350F, and then set to medium

whisk together salt, pepper, and corn starch in a bowl, and toss the pork cutlets in the mixture, one at a time, shaking off the excess.

fry pork cutlets a few at a time, about 2 minutes per side, or until a thermometer inserted reads 145F

drain on paper towels, plate, and pour sauce over the pork chops. DEVOUR.

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Kegels + Algebra = N

  By breakfasttobed | August 9, 2012 - 9:05 AM | , , , ,
23 Comments

Last week, the sexy Ashley of Healthy Happier Bear and I went to TWO separate bar classes. (along with other bloggers, including, but not limited to, Cait, Gina, Theodora, Sabrina, and Meghann…) The first was AWFUL. I had no idea if I was doing anything right, I was only corrected in my form once, and I’d basically rather wear full Elizabethan regalia for an entire week, complete with bumroll, corsets, and 8″ rough, than go back there. Have you ever worn an Elizabethan costume? It’s like living inside a very tight cage that you’re expected to walk in.

That thing around her neck that looks like a choking collar is the rough.

Last friday, however, Ashley, and the lovely ladies at Well+Good NYC, invited some of us blogging ladies to a Physique57 event, hosted by one of its founding instructors, Tanya Becker, for a FANTASTIC workout. There was nary a move where they weren’t correcting my crap posture or poor form.

Another added benefit is that Tanya was hilarious and semi-inappropriate, which zooms her to the top of the list for awesome bar teachers I’ve had. If you can joke about your C-section whilst you’re in pretzel pose? You win at life.

This class was TOUGH. Arms, legs, ass, abs, algebraic equations, we did it all. The next day I felt it all. I think my ears hurt, though I’m not sure how I worked those out. I AM sure the only exercise that we didn’t do in class was kegels. That was a private class Theodora hosted later….(see, Theodora? That’s what you get for moderating my inappropriate comments! kegel jokes)

Meghann, Gina, and I were chortling the entire time we were on the bar, and we were also dying a little. We’re runners and crossfitters; we are thusly unaccustomed to such maneuvers. I think the three of us left with just a bit more flexibility and a lot more respect for what I previously considered “an easier workout”, and, “probably not my style”. I was wrong. It’s effing hard, and it WAS my style.

Yes, I have that many tattoos. Yes, I have a ball between my legs. Yes, I was corrected a lot. Yes, I’m a giant.

I am buying a package there. I’ll go all the damn way to Manhattan to go on the regular. I want a core like Tanya’s.

It is always nice to share time with ladies (including a 5 hour dinner) who share a similar passion for healthy eating balanced with tequila, exercise, and positivity. I can’t wait to meet up with them again! It’s a crying shame Sabrina and Meghann live so far away! (sad face)

Soon ladies. Soon.

Speaking of balancing healthy food with tequila….

SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE OATMEAL!!

It sounds odd, but it is SO SO good. It’s also vegan. It’s also warming and addictive, so get your eat on now!

Sweet Potato Casserole Oatmeal

by Cat Tan

Keywords: breakfast vegan

Ingredients (serves 2)

for the casserole topping

  • 1/2 large yam
  • 1 tsp chia + 1 tbsp water, set aside for 10 minutes
  • 2 tbsp soy milk
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp honey

for the oats

  • 1/2 cup oats
  • 1/2 cup vanilla almond milk
  • 2 tsp honey
  • 1 tsp chia with 1 tbsp water, set aside for 10 minutes
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tbsp peanut butter

Instructions

combine all topping ingredients and oat ingredients separately

In an oven proof dish, layer the oat mixture on the bottom, and the sweet potato mixture on top

place in cold oven set to 350F

bake for 20 minutes

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