The Lies Our Elders Tell Us…and Waffles.

Lately, I’ve been in a bit of a funk. I’ve not been able to work out for a FREAKING MONTH, and it’s driving me batshit insane. I’ve become somewhat more of a fidgety mess. Most things in my life have suffered for my lack of movement. Being on the *insertsportsingacronymforhealthrelatedbenchinghere* list, has taken its toll. … Read more…

BINGO!

Ok, so today’s post is going to be ridiculously short. In fact, it’s going to be mostly images.

Having an image post sans Fassbender .gif is like walking into Mordor, YOU SIMPLY DON’T DO IT.

The reason for this nigh wordless post? Well, tomorrow’s post and Sunday’s posts are both DOOZIES! I mean, thousands of words. Long as hell recipes. Probably less Fassy. Also?! IT’S MY DAUGHTER’S BIRTHDAY!!! Four years old. I can’t even.

First, I have an AWESOME AND TOTALLY EPIC COVER REVEAL TODAY!!

If you couldn’t tell, I basically sport a girl boner each and every time Elizabeth Hunter releases a new book into the womb of the reader world.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, because I’m a hopeless sycophant, I get to share the OMG AMAZING AND GORGEOUS COVER!!!

scarlet deep Add it to your TBR pile on Goodreads HERE. Preorder on Amazon HERE. Smashwords HERE.

When it shows up on my Kindle, I may squee loudly enough that someone is going to need to muffle my screams by letting me bite their shoulder…or something similar. (more on this later.)

THE BLURRRRBBB:

 On the waves of the North Atlantic, a poison spreads, sapping the life from humans and striking madness into immortals.
Patrick Murphy, the immortal leader of Dublin, has been trying to stem the tide of Elixir washing into his territory, but nothing seems to stop the vampire drug. While others in the immortal world work to cure the creeping insanity that Elixir threatens, Murphy has been invited to London to join a summit of leaders hoping to discover who is shipping the drug. If Murphy and his allies can cut off the supply, they might be able to halt the spread long enough for a treatment to be found for the humans and vampires infected.
Anne O’Dea, Murphy’s former lover, retreated from public life over one hundred years ago to help immortals in need… and to heal her own broken heart. Though powerful connections keep her insulated from the violence of vampire politics, even Anne is starting to feel the effects of Elixir on her isolated world. The human blood supply has been tainted, and with Anne’s unique needs, even those closest to her might be in danger. Not just from infection, but Anne’s escalating bloodlust.
When Anne and Murphy are both called to London, they’re forced to confront a connection as immortal as they are. As they search for a traitor among allies, they must also come to terms with their past. Behind the safe facade of politics, old hungers still burn, even as an ancient power threatens the fate of the Elemental World.
GAHHHHH!!!
Anne wasn’t trying to escape. Bloody

Are you twitterpated? I’m twitterpated.

NEXT ON THE AGENDA!!

GAME/GIVEAWAY time.

Romance Cliche Bingo!!

This game has been a long time coming. Each romance novel I read tends to have a few revolving phrases that are so oft repeated as to be cliche. YES, sometimes things are cliche because they ring with truth, but a lot of times, I think it’s because authors are readers, and shit gets stuck in their head, and inevitably spills onto their pages.

So I made a drinking game Bingo Card Game out of it.

Here are the prizes:

1st prize: *fastest bingo* is a $25 Amazon gift card

2nd prize: Elemental Mysteries by Elizabeth Hunter box set! (kindle)

3rd prize: The Elements of Chemistry books by Penny Reid (ebook)

Rules: find the phrases in romance novels, document them, until you have BINGO. Email me your results at BreakfastToBed@gmail.com with your preferred Amazon gift email as well as your alternate email for smashwords or whichever you use if different from your amazon email.

This contest ends 6/7/15 at 11:59 EST.

Screen Shot 2015-05-07 at 9.31.39 AMA few words off is ok, total revision is not.

NOW? The food. It’s the Peanut’s birthday, and homegirl wanted funfetti donuts. I obliged. These are RICH, delicious, old-fashioned donuts with a funfetti twist.

Funfetti Donuts Funfetti Donuts Funfetti Donuts

Funfetti Donuts

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cook Time: 15 minutes

Keywords: fry breakfast dessert

Ingredients (1 dozen donuts)

  • 1/4 cup soft butter
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 3 egg yolks
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • few grates of nutmeg
  • 1/2 cup buttermilk
  • 2 cups flour
  • 1/4 cup corn starch
  • 1 tbsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1/4 cup rainbow sprinkles
  • flour for surface
  • oil for frying

Instructions

while making the dough, bring the oil to 325F

whisk together dry ingredients and set aside

cream butter and sugar in mixer on medium

add extract and yolk

slowly add milk

turn off mixer and add 1/4 of the dry mixture, stir slowly

repeat with the remaining dry ingredients

stir in sprinkles

roll out onto a floured surface and dust dough with flour

roll to 1/2″ cut out donuts and holes, re-rolling excess dough until none remains.

fry in oil, 3 at a time, 3 minutes per side

pull out onto a cooling rack with paper towels beneath

optional

roll in powdered sugar

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Perfect Fresh Tomato Sauce and Homemade Meatballs

Get Series(ous). #10

Friday, April 10th, 2015. It is the 100th day of the year. This morning I woke up at 4:19 am. It is (probably) the 12th (or so) day I’ve been awake at this time this year. I am elated, I love the word, “elated” about today’s Get Series(ous). post. According to the front page of The New York Times, the temperature today will be 64F (and raining-again, shit.) I’m pretty much going to trust this prognostication even though forecasts are notoriously off-base.

Some books, and some series just hit me so hard, I find it difficult to elucidate my feelings about said books and series in a succinct manner. There aren’t as many of these as you’d think, given that my reading habit amounts to about one book per day.

(In the interest of clarity and transparency, many of these books are for work/school or research for scripts/auditions.)

However, when I do find a book that fits into this most-exclusive category in my “Books I’ve Put In My Brain” Spreadsheet, I want to wrap each of them in bubble wrap and a collection of my feels to hug them forever and ever. (Yes, this is a real thing I have. Yes, I DO rate my books on an algorithm of likelihood of a re-read. Shut it. You know you’re jealous.)

This week’s Get Series(ous). series definitely fits into that category. It’s highlighted GREEN in my Excel spreadsheet which tells me that it has a 100% chance of being re-read MORE THAN ONCE. As I’ve already read/listened to the first two books in the series three times each, I think it needs a new color. Like mochachino or parsley sprig.

Who should read this series?

ANYONE WITH A SOUL WHO CARES ABOUT LOVE AND LIFE. Ok, that might seem a bit extreme–and broad. 

This reader is a fan of the underdog, the underserved populations, the under-appreciated. This reader loves a book with superstar heroes in unassuming miens. This reader may love Hero by Perry Moore,  A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving–Rocky. 

All of these share one thing, one specific trait that makes them all wonderfully readable/watchable–hope. All of these books and main characters inspire immense amounts of hope in the reader.

Also, this reader isn’t afraid to laugh at seemingly upsetting circumstances. They understand the catharsis that is making light of a rough situation. This reader craves real emotion in their books, however subtle, knowing that sometimes, subtle is the most gut-wrenching.

What is this series?

 

The Blurb:

A thirty-nine-year-old with Asperger’s syndrome and obsessive-compulsive disorder, Edward Stanton lives alone on a rigid schedule in the Montana town where he grew up. His carefully constructed routine includes tracking his most common waking time (7:38 a.m.), refusing to start his therapy sessions even a minute before the appointed hour (10:00 a.m.), and watching one episode of the 1960s cop show Dragnet each night (10:00 p.m.).

But when a single mother and her nine-year-old son move in across the street, Edward’s timetable comes undone. Over the course of a momentous 600 hours, he opens up to his new neighbors and confronts old grievances with his estranged parents. Exposed to both the joys and heartaches of friendship, Edward must ultimately decide whether to embrace the world outside his door or retreat to his solitary ways.

Why I love it.

Right off the bat, let me again, in the interest of full-disclosure, tell you a little about my family. My nephew, a beautiful and sweet 16 year old boy, has Autism. Specifically, PDD-NOS. My son, aka The Captain, aka My WORLD, my handsomest handsome child with a heart of pure sugar, has Sensory Processing Disorder with a joint Dx of ADHD, and Social Anxiety Disorder. 

So you can see why a series revolving around a grown man who learns to live in a world that seems out of his world might interest me.

But that’s 100% not all of it. That’s not even 20% of it. The Edward series (I’m including The Fallow Season of Hugo Hunter) is so beautifully written. It is so sharp and precise, it is as though it were fashioned in relief with an exact-o knife, or imported directly into my mind with a supernatural 3D printer.

It’s so funny. Heartbreakingly so. However, you never feel as though you’re laughing AT the MC, which would turn me off immediately. It’s almost as though you’re laughing at the disorder, as strange as that sounds. Asperger’s takes any verbal or mental filter someone may have, and stretches the hole reallllly wide. Therefore, Edward has a tendency to communicate things that we only really hear in our own minds. That is actually really refreshing.

600 Hours of Edward

 

If you never asked yourself this ONCE while dating, you’re a fucking liarvillepants.

Throughout every facet of these stories, you never lose sight of what is important to each of the characters. This becomes especially important in Edward Adrift and The Fallow Season of Hugo Hunter. But oh man, do you ever get lost in the story. The first two books almost feel epistolary in nature, and this only serves to add to the interest of it all. The reader eventually begins to feel as though they are a part of the data which Edward so carefully collects.

As I mentioned above, I read/listened to this series. I am, by default, a very results-oriented person, and the ability to maintain the narrative whilst I go about the quotidian tasks of daily life appeals to me on a very basely “me” level.

This can be good or bad. If the narrator is great, well then! Hey hey hey! BONUS! Excellent. If the reader is crap??? Yeah. Not so much.

This series is narrated by Luke Daniels. I feel like between him, Tavia Gilbert, the PSM and perhaps this guy….

they’ve been featured on B2B enough that they should have their own graphic or .gif.

luke danielsohsweetbabybuddha that is so fantastically awful I MUST DO ANOTHER!!

PSM

The internet is a beautiful thing…

MOVING ON!!

Luke Daniels’s performance as Edward and company is oddly relaxing. Weird, right? His placentious intonations and utter grip on the motive of the character absolutely lulls the reader into a total blissed-out book zone.

Without giving away any spoilers, in the first book of the series, Edward experiences a very deep loss. Life-changing. Craig Lancaster’s words, performed by Luke Daniels, had me in a shock of terrifically embarrassing sobs in the back of a cab. The driver thought I’d lost it. His pack of tissues smelled like black and milds.

And before you ask, Yes…

luke daniels

will get his own Auralgasm post, but not until I figure out what else to say…If you have any ideas, EMAIL ME! Because, if you have your own completely awful and obnoxious .gif….

The Recipe Inspired by the Series:

In the first book, Edward eats spaghetti (albeit crappy spaghetti) 9 times a week. Yup. 

It was a no-brainer.

Perfect Fresh Tomato Sauce and Homemade Meatballs.

Perfect Fresh Tomato Sauce and Homemade Meatballs Perfect Fresh Tomato Sauce and Homemade Meatballs

Perfect Fresh Tomato Sauce and Homemade Meatballs Perfect Fresh Tomato Sauce and Homemade Meatballs Perfect Fresh Tomato Sauce and Homemade Meatballs

Perfect Fresh Tomato Sauce and Homemade Meatballs

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 1 hour

Cook Time: 45 minutes

Keywords: bake entree snack side

Ingredients (depends on how big your balls are)

    for the sauce

    • 4 tbsp tomato paste
    • 4 roma tomatoes, ripe
    • 1 medium yellow onion
    • 1, 15.5 oz can fire roasted tomatoes
    • 1, 15.5 oz can stewed tomatoes
    • 2 tbsp chopped fresh garlic
    • 1 tsp red pepper flake
    • 1 tsp dried oregano
    • 1/2 tsp dried rosemary
    • 1/3 cup chopped fresh basil
    • 4 tbsp EVOO
    • 1 tsp kosher salt
    • 1/2 tsp cracked black pepper

    for the meatballs

    • 1 lb ground beef 90/10
    • 1 lb ground pork
    • 1/3 cup chopped fresh parsley
    • 1/2 cup breadcrumbs
    • 1 tbsp evoo
    • 1/4 cup whole milk
    • 1 egg
    • 1 tsp kosher salt
    • 1 tsp cracked black pepper
    • 2 tsp chopped fresh garlic
    • 1/2 tsp onion powder
    • 1/8 tsp fresh ground nutmeg

    Instructions

    before you make the sauce, make the balls.

    Preheat oven to 400F

    combine all ball ingredients in a big bowl

    mix with your hands

    roll into balls of your preferred size, I did 2″ in diameter.

    place on a cookie sheet that’s been sprayed with cooking spray

    at 2″ in diameter they take about 20-25 minutes in the oven.

    to make the sauce

    dice the fresh tomatoes into 1/2″ cubes

    dice the onion into 1/4″ dice

    in a skillet, pour in the olive oil and heat to medium high,

    before it begins to smoke, add the onion and turn to medium

    saute until translucent.

    add garlic

    stir in remaining ingredients and let cook for about 15-20 minutes

    AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE!!

    I suggest using a pasta like the riccioli pictured above, or something like a curly tagliatelle, or papardelle pasta.

    Toss all of the sauce with one pound cooked pasta and the meatballs

    I like to top this all with fresh mozz and slide it back into the oven until the mozz is all yummy melted like.

    also good with parmesan cheese or asiago.

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    SPECTACULAR (1)
    spicy satay chicken wings

    Winging it.

    Marathon training is kicking my ass. Not because I can’t do the running (I can), or that the Yassos make me want to puke on some days (they do), or even because running sixty miles a week takes approximately forever (it does); It’s kicking my ass because the weather in NYC has been ten levels of dreck for five months. More than once, I’ve been running 10 or more miles on the treadmill wanting to be almost anywhere else. The stress of that, combined with the stress of school, and add on top of that–my agent JUST text me not ten minutes ago:

    “Um hey, can you record a commercial for me tomorrow? Oh yeah, BTW…it’s in French.”

    Sure. needtorunneedtorunneedtorunborntorunborntorunbrucespringsteenjerseywhat?

    I’ve been running 6x/week, and on average, only 3 of those days each week have been outdoors. I’ve done LONG runs indoors because of ice, snow, cold, wind, or just plain weather-related crapsicles. When I’m outdoors, I can pump to my music, or to my audiobooks, and just feel my run. Indoors? Well, indoors I need all of the distractions. I’ve been running mostly at my Crossfit box once it’s closed for the day. Luckily, my zen Navajo spirit running guide and the Viking own the box, so I can pretty much go in whenever. Also? Zen Navajo had a giant tv installed just for me and the Highlander. Our ADHD DEMANDS IT. We marathon Netflix shows while we train for the Boston Marathon (because we loves, and because cable is a giant ripoff!).

    Sure, sometimes we fight like children over what we should watch, “NO, Highlander, I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH FISHTANK KINGS!! Jeez, why is that even a show?”

    I will absolutely watch this fish tank…as it is shoveled into my face.

    Because I have an exceptional ability to whine, and I know too many secrets, I usually end up getting my way. Usually.

    So for this month’s Netflix recommendations I have decided to present them in .gifs and memes. Because I can.

    The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

    I feel this way about life…and Sweet Valley High. 

     

    And now I’ll just post this to remind us all why Peaky Blinders is such a good idea.

    Oh, that was shallow of me. To be fair, I DO watch this at a Crossfit Box surrounded by half-naked man gods. CUT ME SOME SLACK. (it’s not like I’ve lost my love of the Fassbender)

    *from Centurion

    And now some food.

    Perfect to eat while “marathoning.”

    Spicy Satay Chicken Wings

    spicy satay chicken wings spicy satay chicken wings spicy satay chicken wings

    Spicy Satay Chicken Wings (Baked)

    by Cat Bowen

    Prep Time: overnight marinate

    Cook Time: 30 minutes

    Keywords: bake appetizer entree side snack

    Ingredients (2 dozen wings)

    • 2 dozen wings

    for the marinade

    • 1/3 cup soy sauce
    • 2 tbsp fish sauce
    • the juice from 2 limes
    • 2 tbsp sambal
    • 1 tbsp sesame oil
    • 1 tsp black vinegar
    • 1 tbsp chopped garlic
    • 2 tsp chopped ginger
    • 1/2 tsp Chinese Five Spice

    for the sauce

    • 1/2 cup natural peanut butter
    • juice of one lime
    • 2 tbsp soy sauce
    • 2 tbsp melted coconut oil
    • 1 tsp sriracha

    Instructions

    add marinade ingredients and wings to a bag,

    marinate in the refrigerator, in a dish, overnight

    preheat oven to 450F

    mix together sauce ingredients

    place wings on a cooling rack on a cookie sheet

    bake 15-20 minutes, or until the center of the wing reaches 165F

    toss in sauce

    serve with scallions and cilantro

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    Though Netflix sponsored these posts, all opinions and recipes are my own.

    Though Netflix sponsored these posts, all opinions and recipes are my own.

    Dark Chocolate Cheesecake with port wine berry sauce and homemade whipped cream

    Auralgasms #2.

    I think it’s pretty clear to everyone who reads this blog, that I’m well on my way to a slow descent into the insane abyss. One day, in the not too distant future, my journey into fully-blown recluse will be complete, and I’ll no longer need to worry about under-eye concealer or bras. I hate … Read more…