Weighty Words: The Top 5 Fitness Books That Don’t Make You Want an Oreo.

When I re-branded my blog, I told myself I wouldn’t completely cut fitness out of the blog entirely, because it’s still a huge part of my life, and I love talking about it. However, it felt disingenuous to continue in the vein of “healthy fitness blogging” when I realized that a lot of the time … Read more…

Read Watch Eat, F/M/K Edition.

Ok, so by now, you’ve all played “Eff/Marry/Kill, right?

If not, let me refresh your memories. I will give you three celebrity .gifs, (let’s do Brits/UK, ok?) and you have to choose  with whom you’d have most intimate, and very carnal relations, with whom you’d walk down the aisle toward wedded bliss, and whom you’d kill!

I think you know who this is. If not, READ MY BLOG MORE OFTEN. Yes, I know he’s Irish. It’s close enough.
Tom Hiddleston. A little Lo-ki action.
Tom Hardy. MmmmHmmm

HOW DO I CHOOSE?!?!?

Ok, I’d get fast with Fassbender, marry Hiddleston, and kill Hardy. Why? No one as smoldering as Fassbender could possibly be good marriage material. (I’m generalizing. Broadly.) Hiddleston is still sexy as HOLY MOLY, and he really likes to dance. He can probably argue Elizabethan lit with me for days without getting bored. I’d kill Tom Hardy, but I’d feel very poorly about it. (Poorly is a UK colloquialism for “ill,” American readers. I thought it fit the men.)

You get the gist of the game, right?! Ok.

Today’s blog is based on that.

Read/Watch/Eat the F/M/K edition.

Only, I’m totally telling you which is which, because I AM A GIVER.

Read, Watch, Eat

 

The book you’ll want to have a tumultuous affair with, the movie that will lead you down a rabbit hole of Netflix binging the likes of which your iPad hasn’t seen in years, and the cake you’ll want to kill in a sitting. (But don’t do that, you’ll get a tummy ache.)

Read:

This was a real joy to read. The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, The Vampire Accountant, by Drew Hayes is a different sort of book. It reads more like an epistolary of shorts. Meaning, each chapter is more of the next installment than the next chapter. It’s a fun, raucous, whirling dervish of a little book, with hilarious characters, (Bubba, the giant gay were-pony, anybody?) great twists and turns, and a narrator that just makes the reader smile.

When we’ve been bombarded with every type of vampire we think we could ever possibly imagine, we get Fred: the meek, quiet, horribly self-conscious vampire with a knack for numbers and collection of sweater vests. Vampire Fred may view himself as utterly uninteresting, but readers will read him as utterly uncommon and wonderful. Drew Hayes has made a splash with this tweak on bloodsucking subset which will charm diehard twihards and Draculovers the world over.

Four fangs.

Now, let me escort you into a Netflix rabbit hole, quick as you like.

I may or may not have been kinda sorta webstalking the world’s sexiest vegan–and my fifth grade crush, Jared Leto. I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS A VEGAN. *swoon* I was also coming down with a righteous book hangover from Fred, and wanted something–twisty–like the book. Scrolling through the Netflix streaming offerings, I came across a film I’d never heard of before.

Here’s the trailer–because, descriptions evade me at the moment.

 

I loved it. LOVED it. Which was great, but then, then I did a bad, bad thing. I “searched” Jared Leto in the Netflix search box.

There was so much Jared Leto in my box.

American Psycho, Prefontaine, Sunset Strip, Artifact. 

Just hours and hours of me and Jared Leto. All because I put him in my box.

You guys need to follow my lead on this with your Netflix.

Put Jared Leto in your box.

And put this cake in your mouth.

Yeah, I know it’s not yet autumn, but I AM TRYING TO THE SECRET THE HELL OUT OF AUTUMN TO GET HERE FASTER. I don’t want the days to pass more quickly, I just want the cool to come out and play.

This is perhaps the best cake I’ve made all year. It’s so delicious and moist. It has the flavors of fall, and HOLY EFF DOES IT SMELL GOOD.

Apple Pumpkin Upside-Down Cake

apple pumpkin upside-down cake

apple pumpkin upside-down cake apple pumpkin upside-down cake

Apple Pumpkin Upside-Down Cake

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 25 minutes

Keywords: bake dessert vegan vegetarian dairy-free nut-free fall

Ingredients (8 servings)

  • 1 cup canned pumpkin puree
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 1/2 ripe banana
  • 1 cup flour
  • 1/2 cup vanilla non-dairy milk
  • 1/2 cup canola or grapeseed oil
  • 1 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
  • 1 tbsp baking powder

for the apple topping/bottom

  • 1 extra large firm apple, peeled and thinly sliced
  • 1/3 cup buttery spread or butter
  • 1/3 cup brown sugar

Instructions

preheat oven to 350F

in a 10″ oven-proof skillet with at least 2″ high sides, melt 1/3 cup buttery spread and 1/3 cup brown sugar on medium heat until melted together

(may remain a bit separated)

remove from heat

arrange apple slices atop buttery sugar mix in a mostly single layer. (the apples may overlap a bit)

In a mixer or with a mixer on medium, whip together pumpkin, oil, sugar, and banana until mostly smooth

slowly stir in milk

sift in dry ingredients

spray the inside sides of the skillet with cooking spray

pour in batter over apples

bake approximately 20-25 minutes or until edges pull away from pan and skewer inserted 1″ comes out clean.

let cool ten minutes

invert onto plate.

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Though Netflix sponsored these posts, all opinions and recipes are my own.
Though Netflix sponsored these posts, all opinions and recipes are my own.

Ninja Listening

YAY!! Today is

I know I’m positively giddy, because the last time I wrote one, it was the night before the landmark SCOTUS decision in favor of gay marriage, and WOOT! Now, I’m riding that high like everyone ever that was ever written by Lorelei James. (explanation of that joke to come…no pun intended.)

Get three more dudes and a lady in ropes, and you have a Lorelei James novel.

Today’s narrator is

Yes, he’s been featured on B2B before, hence the .gifliness, but never in his own post. So, why is it, that if he’s been discussed previously would I feature him? Honestly, because, even though I’m not a “genre” reader–meaning I don’t just read ONE genre all the time–I am genre-leaning, and with the past few months–leaning heavily on one genre, I end up repeating narrators as they tend toward one or two genres. And he’s one of the best.

While Luke Daniels has a resume that spans the width of any audio library, his narrations tend to mirror my own readings. Fantasies and romance, mysteries and thrillers.

I tend to listen to some genres and read the others, words on pages style. I listen to a fuckton of fantasy and romance. Even though I read pretty much everything. I am actually reading the hardcopy of Barefoot to Avalon right now. It’s crushing my soul.

Luke Daniels’s narration is terrifyingly smooth. It’s not just that he either is or has a great producer/director, because that couldn’t explain all of it. There is no hiccup of narration between one character and the next, and there’s no non-justifiable alteration in the character’s voice and intonation from the first minute to the last.

Think of it this way. ESPECIALLY in character-heavy novels such as The Iron Druid Chronicles or Magic 2.othe narrator is juggling between 3-4 main characters, and 10 or more secondary and tertiary characters. Each hour the listener hears takes between 2 and 2.5 hours to record, and several hours per hour of listening time to edit. So, if Off To Be The Wizard is 10 hours long, that’s 20 hours (at least) of narrating. Somehow, Luke Daniels manages each character with an exacting precision of a godsdamned acting ninja. (You never see their reactions coming.)

Yes, as a series goes on, the character voice alter slightly and mature–but so do people. However….

I have no idea how old Luke Daniels is. Based on the pictures on his twitter account–this must be him.

points removed for the bathroom selfie.

So, he could be anywhere from 7-97, and I have no idea–which is exactly the point. For the most part, when you hear someone’s voice, you can guess a range for their age. Tone and volume plus accents and phonics can give you a pretty good handle on a decade. I’ve probably listened to 19 of Luke Daniels’s narrated books, according to my audible app, and I just couldn’t fucking tell you. Each character has his or her own vocal image, and it’s completely heterogenous.

I am baffled by this ability. Luke Daniels narration is always a seamless and head spinning example of what the human voice is capable when combined with a surfeit of talent and instinct.

However, I did recently listen/read (because, whispersync) to Last Night at the Viper Room, which is all about River Phoenix, (aka the love of my childhood) and I would put him at about my age. (I’m obviously 25, even though River Phoenix died 20 years ago. I was an early bloomer, mother trucker.)

His narration is a head first, rock out with your cock out, fearless feat of vocal acting. He doesn’t pull back, and he doesn’t tone it down to make himself more comfortable.

I know, I’ve written over 600 words with no samples. Ok. Ok.

First things first: a small anecdote related to the first joke made.

Luke Daniels narrated a few Lorelei James novels. ON A WHIM, I downloaded these to my kindle for a research project, thinking I should include some erotica in the sample group. It’s not my typical genre. I don’t really live in that arena too much.

I was super pressed for time. A few new books were releasing soon, and I had a stack of ARCs needing read. So I downloaded the audio. Because, whispersync.  I was mostly through the first book, and I honestly had to turn it off occasionally because I thought my face had actually caught fire. I know I make SOMANYDIRTYJOKES here on B2B, but this book was something.else.entirely.

The

and I, when reading something surprising, often text one another with phrases like: “surprise public sex,” or “surprise anal,” or “surprise Jesus,” *sometimes all three in one book. But these books–yes, they’re a series–led to a whole new lexicon of “surprise” texts. LET’S BULLET POINT THEM.

  • surprise ladyflower lassoing
  • surprise prostate massage
  • surprise amateur porn
  • surprise preachers
  • I don’t think that was its intended use!!! NO NOT THERE!!!
  • surprise ninja sex.

And because the PSM and I have both had “accidentally caught listening to Lorelei James OUT LOUD AND IN PUBLIC–FUCKING FAULTY HEADPHONE PLUGS–incidents, I really wanted to put a sample of THAT in here. Because we should all be uncomfortable together. But after searching for one filthy clip in all of internetdom and coming up dry–pun intended–I decided to go with another.

A teaser clip from a book in the Iron Druid Chronicles. Because I love Oberon like I love vodka.

(He’s a lot less blond in that picture. Weird.)

The recipe for this narrator? GREAT LAKES FAVORITES TWISTS. I tweeted him, and he lives in Michigan, and being from the superior Great Lakes state of Ohio, I had a few ideas, and asked him what he thought about flavors. Yes to bacon and blue cheese.

Goooood, I can work with this. Even though I’m a vegan, my family isn’t, and nor is B2B.

But it is pasture-raised bacon and butter, as well as humane dairy blue cheese, and Frank’s Red Hot, because that shit is delicious.

You’re going to want to make this twist Great Lakes favorite, the pierogi, and probably sooner than later, but you can make-ahead and freeze for this year’s OSU-MICH game.

Buffalo and Bacon Pierogi.

buffalo and bacon pierogi

 

buffalo and bacon pierogi buffalo and bacon pierogi

Buffalo and Bacon Pierogi

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 1 hour of cooking and prep 20

Keywords: appetizer salad entree side snack

Ingredients (36 pierogi)

  • 45 wonton skins
  • 10 oz bacon
  • 3 lb peeled russet potatoes
  • 4 oz blue cheese plus more to crumble atop
  • 4 oz butter
  • 1 tsp salt plus more for potato water
  • 2 tsp chopped garlic
  • 3 tbsp finely grated onion
  • 1 tsp ground black pepper

for assembly and topping

  • one egg
  • as much Frank’s Red Hot as you like. I like lots. and lots.
  • scallions or chives
  • sour cream
  • onion

Instructions

boil potatoes to fork tender in salted water

add to mixing bowl

on medium, blend in salt, pepper, garlic, onion, butter, and 4 oz blue cheese

this should not be runny, it should be able to be piped onto the wonton skins, so it needs to be a little stiff

when it’s well mixed, let it come to room temp

meanwhile, bring a LARGE pot of water to boil

fry the bacon, and leave the grease in the pan.

AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE

scramble the egg and set aside

lay out a TON of skins on a counter

transfer potatoes from the bowl into a ziptop bag or piping bag

cut off tip 1″ from corner

pipe about 2 tbsp mix onto the CENTER of each skin

brush the egg around half of the edge of each skin and fold over into a crescent.

crimp the edges tightly. feel free to crimp over each crimp again, folding it onto itself.

place in the boiling water at least five at a time

heat the bacon fat on medium

remove pierogi CAREFULLY from boiling water and place in the bacon fat.

fry 2 minutes per side

top with Franks and dip in sour cream–or more blue cheese dressing if that’s your thing.

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Breaking Badass.

Honesty time.

Lately, I’ve been struggling. A few weeks ago, one of my closest friends succumbed to Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. She was truly a beautiful soul, and losing her sort of sent my brain into a tailspin of doubts. She was very young–in her early thirties–and beyond simply mourning her passing, it also slapped me upside the head.

Here I am, healthy and hale, (for the most part) and I am wasting my life.

Yes, I have beautiful children, family, and friends, etc, but I avoid doing so, so much, because I am terrified to do so. I am an extroverted introvert–meaning–I can work a room. I can chat and mingle and make small talk with whomever, rather gregariously so, but really, I just want to be at home, away from everyone, where I only need to talk to those in my most inner of inner circles, and keep my interactions with others completely under my control.

I’m great on social media because it doesn’t require a bra or people.

I’m great with the vague notion of interaction.

I can live in my headspace of dirty jokes and words on pages and not be bothered with reality.

That doesn’t sustain me. It’s not making me happy. I am incomplete.

We are all of us, incomplete, but I feel like the marionette unfinished by the toymaker, and placed on a shelf. I’ve got all of the working parts, but nothing guiding the strings.

Right now, I have six–SIX–completed novels which I’m terrified to finish the edits on and publish. (I have decided to self-publish, as I’ve dealt with the big houses in academia, and it’s a lot of rigamarole I wish not to deal with in my creative life.) I can’t even gather the ovaries to send it to my

or The Professor to read it. My cousin is a freaking NYT Bestselling author, and has basically begged to read another–(because, nepotism, and I make a killer martini) and I just haven’t been able to stomach the idea. Read my scholarship? Fine. My book reviews? Great. These little memoir-y bits on B2B? Acceptable. But sweet fuck. Read my fiction? You may as well open my brain and read the gray matter like tea leaves.

And I’ve fallen woefully behind on pimping my blog. I suppose I’ve always viewed this little space on the internets as a happy destination for me to share my love of food, books, and fitness, not caring about traffic or who read it. That just doesn’t seem good enough anymore. I’m not content with letting this blog drip slowly into complete anonymity. I’ve written hundreds of thousands of words, hundreds of recipes, featured a MILLION .GIFS THAT THE MASSES NEED TO SEE RIGHT MEOW.

I cracked. I splintered. I needed and need help.

I’ve done the UNTHINKABLE for me. I picked up a–gasp–self-help book. Because books, unlike my shrink, don’t expect me to talk about my feelings with anyone else but myself.

Also, like social media, no bra required.

it’s groping Lucy and Ethyl all damned day.

I started and stopped a bunch of them. Tony Robbins, while he may be everyone’s guru, is not for me. Same with Stephen Covey, Wayne Dyer, and Deepak Chopra. I am unmotivated by rich, middle-aged men, it would seem. Though, I understand how many find solace and inspiration in their words.

I am, Tom! Gah! Didn’t we talk about this last night? 😉

Apparently, I am only swayed by self-help books which are laced with profanity, don’t take themselves too seriously, and may read a bit like being thrown in a room with a bunch of ninjas, slicing you with their “improvement” swords.

Apparently, my self-help needs violence.

Walter White as me, talking to, well, me.

What’s the book?

 

Jen Sincero’s approach is at once funny and insightful, bawdy, and beautifully, beautifully, brazen. She doesn’t mince words or expurgate that which may be uncomfortable from her pages. It’s a raw and real self-help book that reads like a conversation with a friend.

To me, You’re a Badass felt foundational. It digs into why it is the reader isn’t where they want to be, and provides a reasonable approach to breaking down the cage holding them in place, while not just offering their idea of a skeleton key for the lock.

Deciding means jumping in all the way, doing

 

It was a kick in the ass.

I needed that kick in the ass.

Now it’s time for an action plan. I still have NO idea what that looks like, but I have a better grip–I think–on the why of it. Why I stand in my own way, why I am terrified to let people read my stories, why I don’t SEO/Pimp/share B2B with more readers.

I was an insecure child. I was an even more insecure teen. I am an incredibly insecure adult. I don’t trust much of my own work aside from my scholarship. Not my writing, not my acting, and not my living, to be completely honest. I trust my Hobbit hole in *The Library, and my research. I trust my palate and my taste in books. I even trust my teaching. Somewhere along the way, I began to distrust my creativity, and unfortunately, that has always been the muscle that pumps my heart the hardest. (Ok, research may be on-par with creativity.)

I’m really and truly grateful that I found this book when I did. I needed it.

Four stars.

(one star removed for referencing “The Laws of Attraction,” which, however valid, reminds me too much of The Secret, and a dude who kept hitting on me at a bar in the Village telling me all about it. He actually said “Good things are coming for me. Can I make you come for me?” WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Thanks, creepy guy at NYU bar, for giving me fodder for a lifetime over one pickup line.)

*blogger’s note: “The Library” is capitalized because, Libraries, mother truckers.

What recipe goes with self-help books?

Obviously a carrot cake, because you’re just deluding yourself when you say “it’s healthy.” Just admit you like carrot cake for fuckssake.

It’s vegan, but really, even if it wasn’t, I’d have made it vegan anyway. Sometimes eggs and carrots get gummy, whereas banana and carrots do not. Also, I used olive oil because I think it gives a sharp depth to the carrots that butter does not. It’s floral and herbaceous. It just works.

Vegan Carrot Cake

Vegan Carrot Cake vegan carrot cake

vegan carrot cake

Vegan Carrot Cake

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 35 minutes

Keywords: bake side snack dessert vegan vegetarian cake

Ingredients (1 bundt cake)

    for the cake

    • 7 oz by weight shredded carrot
    • 1 mashed large banana
    • 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
    • 1 cup non-dairy milk of your choice. I like vanilla cashew milk in this.
    • 1 cup brown or coconut sugar or half coconut sugar half maple syrup
    • 2 cups AP flour
    • 1 cup chopped nuts–I like black walnuts in this, toasted.
    • 2 tsp vanilla extract
    • 1 tsp cinnamon
    • 1/2 tsp ground ginger
    • 1/4 tsp allspice
    • 1/4 tsp nutmeg
    • 1 tbsp baking powder

    for the glaze

    • 2 cups icing sugar
    • 4 tbsp vanilla soy milk
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract
    • shredded coconut for topping.

    Instructions

    preheat the oven to 350F

    in a large mixing bowl, combine wet ingredients (including carrots)

    stir well

    set aside 1/4 cup flour

    sift in flour, powder, and spices

    toss walnuts in the flour and stir lightly into batter.

    pour into a greased bundt pan

    place on the center of the center rack

    bake for 35 minutes, or until a skewer inserted in the center comes out clean.

    let cool completely.

    for the glaze

    whisk together ingredients and drizzle over cooled cake

    top with coconut.

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    Magic Mushrooms.

    Have you ever wanted to throw something out the window just to watch the whole thing shatter and die?

    That’s how I feel about Clash of Clans right now. I want to go all Office Space on the ipad, and dance around it as I set fire to it, sing chants–possibly in costume–and cackle loudly.

    kill it with fire.

    Ok, so that was apropos of NOTHING, but I needed to get that off my chest. The Captain keeps hijacking my apple tv to play it on the “big screen,” and I’m about to pelt him with bananas or applesauce, or something.

    moving on….

    Two weeks ago, I teased The Brush of Black Wings by one of my favorite authors, Grace Draven, while reviewing its predecessor Master of Crows. We laughed, we drank, it was better than the last day of school and the first day of school all rolled into one, right? Of course right.

    Well, after waiting FOREVER for one of my favorite ingredients to come in at the grocers, I can finally review the fuck out of it.

    First, let me say this: Grace Draven writes fantasy romance with such skill and confidence, that I am consistently marveled by the depth of her imagination, and the quality of her prose. At times it feels as though Grace Draven is channeling her writing through some long-forgotten Chaucerian or Marie de France tale, given voice through distinctly modern language. It’s shocking in its complexity and addictive qualities.

    The Brush of Black Wings is no different. Decidedly shorter, and more fantasy than romance, it feels like a departure from her previous books, while remaining utterly engaged in her genre. There is quite a bit of action, with less action than Master of Crows–but it suffers not at all for the lack of it. In this installment, Silhara of Neith and Martise (now also of Neith) are married and living at the ruined keep. He’s still sexy, she still drives him into the fits with her blunt sexiness.

    The Brush of Black Wings

    They are living their lives as simply as The Master of Crows and his wife can possibly live, until their servant-friend, Gurn decides he wants fancy mushrooms.

    Martise the ever awesome, goes to collect the mushrooms like some damned truffle sniffing pig. It’s cold, her fingers are freezing, and then SHE FALLS INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION.

    All is not lost, but man alive are there some tough scrapes for her in this gray place! Silhara is properly terrified and rage-beast as fuck about this predicament, and does his magey-magic to go forth and retrieve his wife! (Go back and retrieve? Sideways? It’s a place out of time, so he basically needs a magical cross between the Wonkavator and the standing stones of Outlander.)

    Silhara: “Charlie, I feel you. I just do.”

    The beauty of the relationship between Silhara and Martise is that Grace Draven uses their magic as a metaphor for a strong marriage. It’s not one person doing all the heavy lifting and sacrifice. Playing up one another’s strengths, and sharing sacrifice, is the only way to create a lasting union. The communication between the magic of the pair is open and fulfilling–just as it (communication) is in ANY good marriage.

    The book concludes with some foreshadowing to the next installment which I found delightfully intriguing, and the epilogue gave me the brain tingles. Not like syphilis, that would be bad brain tingling.

    The Brush of Black Wings by Grace DravenTo me, this novella felt like a delicious appetizer which served to whet my appetite for the main course in a most delectable way. Like French Onion soup before a plate full of mashed potatoes. (now I want both.) I plan on re-reading this several times before the next book is released.

    Five magical mushrooms.

    mushroom

     Of COURSE I had to do a mushroom recipe. This one is delicious and satisfying, and LOOKS really difficult and impressive. It’s easy peasy. I swear.

    Mushroom Miso Soba Noodles

    It’s not a soup, but it’s reminiscent of the miso soup or miso ramen you get at Japanese restaurants. It’s the perfect summer dish because it can be served hot or cold, and you DO NOT HAVE TO TURN ON THE OVEN. Also, it calls for dried shiitake mushrooms. I prefer bulk, flat packed, dried shrooms, but really, ANY dried mushrooms will work. Also, I specify Wakame flakes, but Korean dried seaweed flakes will also work. The one thing I’m REALLY going to stress to you is to use UNSALTED stock. Miso, soy sauce, wakame, and even tofu can be heavily salted, and you don’t want to burn your tongue on the salinity of the dish.

    Ready? Ready.

    mushroom miso soba noodles mushroom miso soba noodles

     

    mushroom miso soba noodles

    Mushroom Miso Soba Noodles

    by Cat Bowen

    Prep Time: 30 minutes

    Cook Time: 1 hour

    Keywords: stir-fry entree side snack vegan vegetarian

    Ingredients (4-6 servings)

      for the sauce

      • 2 cups UNSALTED stock. (I used veg, you could use chicken or veg)
      • 3 oz dried shiitake mushrooms
      • 2 tbsp WHITE miso
      • 2 tbsp soy sauce
      • 1 tbsp Mirin
      • 1/4 cup wakame flakes
      • 1 tbsp sesame oil
      • 1 tsp rayu or sriracha or ONE thai chili, stemmed, ribbed, and seeded.
      • 12 oz fresh soba noodles

      for the noodles

      • 12 oz FRESH or frozen and thawed soba noodles. (buckwheat or white–matters not.)
      • 1, 12 oz block of extra-firm tofu, cubed into 1″ cubes or 12 oz stemmed and de-veined shrimp (or combo)
      • 2 big red bell peppers, sliced into ribbons
      • 6-8 oz halved and cleaned baby bok choy or Shanghai choy, lightly steamed. (2-4 minutes) barring that–broccoli or Napa
      • 1 tbsp chopped ginger
      • 1 tbsp chopped garlic
      • 2 tbsp neutral oil
      • 1 tsp sesame oil
      • 1 tsp Mirin
      • 1 tsp soy sauce
      • 1/2 cup vegetable stock

      Garnish

      • chopped cilantro
      • chopped scallion
      • additional wakame flakes
      • hot sauce
      • soft-boiled egg (optional.)

      Instructions

      the base sauce

      In a saucepan, combine the sesame oil, mirin, miso, sriracha, and stock and bring it to a simmer, stirring slowly

      add wakame and mushrooms, turn to low, let simmer 30 minutes

      pull out mushrooms and slice.

      the noodles

      in a WOK or really big fecking skillet, heat the oils until rippling

      add ginger and garlic

      stir in bell pepper and tofu/shrimp–toss and cook until either warmed or cooked through

      add in noodles, stock, Mirin, and soy sauce and toss

      add in remaining ingredients, toss

      add mushrooms back to stock and pour over noodle mix.

      again, toss.

      cook until tender

      plate.

      If serving cold, you may wish to add a bit of soy sauce or Yuzu to the noodles as you eat them,

      garnish and eat

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