Ok. I get that ipads are fun and convenient ways of ignoring your children, but I sometimes feel like my kids are missing something. I will grant you that they’re mostly missing out on things like “risk of death” by sitting in the rear-facing station wagon seat without seatbelts, but it was a fun place to sit.
I will even give you that films like Frozen, and How to Train Your Dragon, were pretty awesome. But, I suppose, because I was watching them as a parent of children instead of as a child, my rose-colored glasses have been tinged with a bit of sepia. My childhood is preserved in the hibernaculum of my mind, preserved with the moss of youthful simplicity. I have no such greenhouse from which to view the current.
I’ve turned into my parents. My parents would wax poetic about Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and Mary Poppins, while I begged off to watch The Muppets and Jem. Upon reflection, I’ve noticed that my parents favorite childhood movies have become some of mine and my children’s as well. While I don’t think I’ll ever love Little House on the Prarie, as it makes me stabby, and The Wizard of Oz still retains its collection of terrifying winged primates, I can sing “Hush-a-bye Mountain” at the drop of a hat.
I thought to myself, “time to indoctrinate my children to appreciate the classics!” I played The Strokes and Johnny Cash to them in the womb, gave them sushi as soon as it was feasible they wouldn’t choke on it, and I recite to them random, popular quotes from great books.
The Captain will finish most of them with a resigned expression on his face. My favorite right now is:”ATTENTION!! BILLY PILGRIM HAS COME UNSTUCK IN TIME!!” The kids roll their eyes at me. So it goes.
In the end, I did the only reasonable thing to do under the circumstances. I filled the Peanut and the Captain’s Netflix watchlist with The Muppet Take Manhattan, The Aristocats, and Jem.
Of course, my kids pissed and moaned a bit about the lack of digital animation, but then…THEN they realized the magic of the muppet. Fozzie is the new/old Seth Rogen, Kermit with amnesia is genius, and Miss Piggy still kicks all of the ass. And with the new Jem movie on the horizon, it’s only fair they have a base for comparison.
Don’t pretend you didn’t sing along. I wonder if my mom still has my Jem costume. It.was.awesome. I was the perfect “office girl/rockstar.” By the way, why in the hell did they still have day jobs? Did they have the world’s shittiest recording contract? Didn’t their dad own it? IS HE A KARDASHIAN?!?!?
I loved Jem, but I always wanted a guitar motorcycle like The Misfits rode in the show. Jem and the Holograms never had such interesting transportation. Granted, they were dirty, underhanded, mean-girl bitchfaces, but they may have had a soft spot…somewhere…like where their heads met their necks.
And now, the rest of the story…
I know at least three of you come here for the recipes…I have one. Worry not.
Crostini with sausage, ricotta, and blackberry, wine, and rosemary honey.
At first, I thought of a fig-wine honey reduction, but decided to go completely seasonal with my ingredients. Everything is fresh and wonderful, and it makes for the perfect crostini. You can use either sweet or hot sausage in this recipe, but I prefer the bold flavor of hot sausage. I prefer to use local ingredients. Berries from the farmer’s market, Faicco’s Italian Sausage, ricotta from Salvatore’s, and bread from whichever local bakery I walk by that day. Who’s the best local purveyor where you live? start there.
It’s insanely good. Try it.
The actual recipe itself is easy, just grill slices of Italian bread, top with salted ricotta, sausage slices, and this reduction..The reduction is also AMAZING on steak OR chicken. I was standing over it, just dunking sausage into it when I ran out of crostini. All of the noises, ever described in a romance novel, to explain the sounds of ecstasy, I made them while eating this. (gutteral moan, breath out on a whisper, a cry from the back of my throat…) you get the picture.
Cabernet, Blackberry, and Rosemary Honey Reduction
Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 15 ish minutes
Keywords: condiment gluten-free dairy-free kosher
- 1 pint fresh blackberries, mashed roughly with a fork
- 1/4 cup good cabernet
- 1/3 cup honey
- 1 sprig fresh rosemary
- pinch of kosher salt
combine all ingredients on stove
bring to boil on medium
reduce to simmer
simmer ten minutes
pull out rosemary stem.
While Netflix compensates me for this post, all opinions, even bad ones, are my own.