The Peanut is going through a phase. She licks people. Because the girl also hates clothing, she does this naked. Thank all the gods she’s not even three, because naked licking could get awkward at 31.
Not that I’m discouraging you from whatever habits you like to keep in your home. If naked licking is your greeting at your home. lick on.
All I’m saying is that it may get awkward. It’s like playing a game of “F, Marry, Kill” only all available options are related to you. (btw, the way to answer that is “clearly, I’d choose to die a knight’s death.”) You know, unless you’re European royalty…or moonshiners…or you own a duck call company.
I think I’ll just start coating my family in that bitter apple stuff that you put on furniture to keep dogs away. It may smell strangely, and I may start requiring the man to shower before anything interesting, but it seems it could be effective.
Maybe I’ll cover both of my kids when they become teenagers. I’m also planning on handing them off for some sort of bootcamp yet-to-be-devised to my aunt for an indeterminate amount of time. (She works at a national family planning center…NOT a crisis pregnancy center…a real family planning center) They’ll be very educated….and they’ll taste TERRIBLE.
But the best birth control is to raise nerds.
This is because nerds are celibate until post-graduate school. (runs to buy more comics)
Ok, enough with this. Let’s talk ice cream.
As I’ve mentioned countless times, my little half-asian bits are quite allergic to dairy. This can suck. I try to make it suck *less* by making new and interesting ice cream concoctions for them. The problem with many non-dairy ice creams is the texture. It has a tendency to be grainy. While this is an easy fix, the fixes tend to up the calories pretty significantly. Here’s the thing, the fixes are realllllly healthy, so feel less bad that it has 70-100 extra cals per half cup than traditional ice cream, and feel better that NONE of the cals come from anything refined.
This ice cream is dairy free, vegan, primal, paleo, gluten free, soy free…and the list goes on. The most important thing that it is, is fucking delicious.
Dairy Free Chocolate Almond Ice Cream