Hipster-Made Hempmilk

Children are disgusting. I know this, and my children seem especially disgusting. I swear that my son seeks out the most communicable virus available to bring home to us. I am going to start building one of those “emergency showers” that chem labs have. Mine will be fed with Purell, and he’ll be forced to shower every day after school. It will be built right in front of my front door, so that our house remains free of kinder-germs.

And they’re going to the farm on a field trip today. This being Brooklyn, and our being completely bereft of an anything agrarian, I assume that the farm is either A: a new cow-themed sports bar, or B: A hipster with a backyard who grows both pot AND potatoes. The man filled out the permission slip, so I’m assuming he made sure the kids aren’t going to be smoking the backyard “hempmilk making supplies.”

If only medical marijuana were good for colds that act like the plague which were bestowed upon you by tiny gross people. As it stands, I don’t think it would be any more effective than sudafed.

Pass the orange juice.

Or Cointreau.

Definitely Cointreau.

Or bake it in a brownie for me.

Something about the orange essence of ┬áCointreau (or GranGala or Grand Marnier) makes the chocolate more….chocolatey. Pair that with the fact that these are made with melted chocolate and NOT cocoa, they’re so rich and decadent, they’ll make you think dirty things.

cointreau brownie Cointreau Brownie


Cointreau Brownies

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: 30 minutes

Keywords: bake dessert

Ingredients (12 brownies)

  • 1 cup finely chopped EXTRA DARK (not unsweetened) chocolate
  • 1/2 cup butter
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1/3 cup cointreau
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 cup flour


preheat oven to 350F

chop the butter and stir into microwave safe bowl with chocolate

microwave until fully melted

stir in cointreau and sugar

stir in eggs and salt

gently stir in flour

pour into greased 9″ square pan

bake 25-30 minutes or until edges are darker and center is set.

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3 Responses to Hipster-Made Hempmilk

  1. Allie says:

    Ha, so true about the lil germ factories. Brownies sound wonderful. ya never know they might just help a cold especially if made with with something grown on that farm. well at least make the cold bearable.

  2. I like dirty thing, not in the children are harbingers of germs type way.
    Sorry you’ve been infected. Hope you feel better soon.

  3. chloe says:

    damn those brownies look good im going to make them on saturday! is it just regular white sugar or castor?

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