This post may end up being record-settingly digressive. Be forewarned.
I have spent inordinate amounts of time reading scholarly literature. A big part of this is because I both work, and thrive in an academic environment, and it’s simply good exercise for my medulla.
This being said, I truly do not believe that you can find any scholarly literature that adheres to the advice of Strunk and White’s Elements of Style, regardless if the author of said article has assigned that book every semester for the entirety of their professorial careers. For the love of all of the gods, it’s as if all of the college professors collectively decided to fuck with their students–myself included–by first taking their daily dose of Adderall or red bull and vodka, and decided to see how much they could obscure one article. I think that sometimes, some of us close our eyes, and open to a random page of the OED, and find a weird and archaic word, and say “haaaaaaaeeeeyyyyyy, I’ll use “clerisy” in today’s article!” (incidentally, and on purpose, it means “educated people considered as a group:literati)
Why do I bring this up on my food, and exercise, and book, and all things “what the fuck?” blog? Because this is an example of experts in their field, being experts, addressing others in their community of experts in similar fields. Because, really, I just read a 30 pager on the importance of CITATIONS–yes, thirty mother-loving pages on why we need exact citations, and multiple sources. I’m willing to wager that this specific paper wasn’t written with say, someone NOT IN ACADEMIA in mind.
My blog, however, is written in a sort of “whack-a-mole” style of hitting all of the points I want to hit as they pop up, and screaming “fuck” every once in a while, because it has driven me to do so. You probably come to my blog to see what insane thing I’ll write next, and for a recipe that I’ve inevitably tested over and over again, and can probably be accomplished while listening to an audiobook and holding a toddler.
Two weeks ago, Martha Stewart decided to bite the hand that feeds her, and had a nice little say-so about the lack of expertise in the blog (that link is the blog equivalent of a citation…which I’d now say is an area where I am an expert.) world. This spawned countless retorts from fellow bloggers like myself. To be honest, we’re all sort of curious as to why she’d care enough to voice an opinion on the subject, and moreover, why would she have so many bloggers on her show if we’re such novices.
On one hand, Martha is right. I didn’t go to culinary school. I’m just a hell of a baker and learned to cook from a woman who was made to do more with less, and I fucking paid attention. But she’s right, I should just stick to my education. Just like she did…..oh wait….she didn’t go to Cordon Bleu and Aunt Maizie’s cut-and-craft academy? She doesn’t have her MBA from Wharton? Her degree(s) are humanities-based history? Well, damn. Wait, she learned to cook, can, and garden at the feet of her immigrant grandparents and first-generation parents? That’s nothing (or everything) like this blog.
Maybe the history degree has her startled. She knows, through various educational revolutions of the past, that eventually, everything changes. Nothing is stagnant. Television and Print have seen their day. While there is still a place for them, increasingly, more and more people are turning to the immediate gratification of internet blogs to provide them with what they are looking for, and often, it is exactly what they’re looking for: Paleo, Gluten-free, my-son-only-wants-foods-that-a-penguin-in-Africa-may-eat, or does anyone know how to get breast milk out of a silk sofa cushion? I thought she’d understood this pull to cull information from a more-specific and pointed environment, when she started having bloggers on by the assload.
Or maybe she just ran out of ideas, and wants to pull a Trump on the bloggers by trying to discredit the work we’re doing to make herself seem more self-important. Though, I do love that woman’s line of glitter.
Stop bringing other people down, Martha; and start working on a line of edible body glitter. We know you’re secretly freaky.
Until we are lucky enough to be painting our partners with sage and honey flavored body glitter, I’ll offer you another fall recipe.
Pumpkin Banana Bars
(written by someone who is not an expert in baking, but is pretty sure she has taste buds that function just fine.)
Pumpkin Banana Bars
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Ingredients (24 bars)
- 1 cup rolled oats
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 2 large, overripe bananas
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 2 eggs
- 2 tbsp vanilla extract
- 2 tsp baking powder
- 2 tsp pumpkin spices
- 1/2 cup coconut oil, warmed and melted
- 1/2 cup pumpkin puree
- 3/4 bag of dark chocolate chips
preheat oven to 350F
in a mixer with the beater attachment attached, mash the bananas for 1 minute
add the coconut oil and pumpkin
beat in eggs and sugar
sift in dry ingredients, save chocolate chips and oats
stir in oats and chips
pour into a greased 9″-13″ pan
bake for 30 minutes or until edges are golden brown and center is set.
let cool before slicing.