I do my best on this blog to keep my crazy actor and theatre shite to a minimum. I do this mostly because, well, actors are weird. I feel like though most of my friends are involved in the arts in some form or fashion, when I am talking to people who aren’t, I often need to lessen the blow of my maniacal musings by inserting “actors are weird” in conversation.
It’s just fact. Actors are weird. Notoriously straddling the dichotomy of being both narcissistic and incredibly insecure, quoting sixteenth century plays like scripture, and we’re probably the only group of people on earth who hoard stacks and stacks of pictures of ourselves. I swear, every single time I hear myself say something ridiculous like “this is my best side”. I want to kick my own ass.
We also tend to have very strange party games. My favorite is “The Sorkin Game” wherein we try to flawlessly recite chunks of dialogue written by Aaron Sorkin while drunk. We’ve also done it while crossfitting. Not. Easy. I’m not going to lie, I am a BEAST at the Sorkin Game. I can do it while playing flip-cup. I missed my calling. I should’ve been an auctioneer at a wine house.
Also, if you haven’t seen this gem? Just do it. Watch it.
I swear, I kind of have a point. Not a great one, mind you. This isn’t a post where I’m having some great epiphany about why I need to have an extra pair of socks on my person at all times, or why I think it is that pineapple has a personal vendetta against my tongue, or how I think I’m scarred for life by once inadvertently seeing one of my former college professors tramp stamps. You never need to know that your first Organic Chemistry professor is “property of Sampson and Delilah”.
My point is that I was heartened to see that even the most cultured of us, the most highly-respected of our profession, can be given to the same level of silliness as those of us who, well, aren’t.
I give you, the king of nerds and Shakespeare, and basically the hottest AARP member out there….(or British equivalent) Sir Patrick Stewart blithely making fun of just how ridiculous we all are.
I bet he’d never scream at me for being in his eyeline. (Yes, that happened on a set, with a very famous dude who later offered to “help me with the seam on my stocking”)
I also have a recipe to snack on whilst you peruse these videos.
MINI PRETZEL BITES
They’re the MOST PERFECT MINI PRETZEL BITES YOU’VE EVER EATEN.
There’s a super special ingredient in my mini pretzel bites….(malted milk powder)
Mini Pretzel Bites
Prep Time: 2 hours
Cook Time: 12 minutes
Keywords: bake appetizer bread breakfast side snack
Ingredients (a crap ton of bites.)
- 1 cup water 110F
- 1 packet active dry yeast
- 2 2/3 cup flour
- 1/3 cup malted milk powder
- 2 tsps kosher salt
- 2 tbsp honey
- 4 tbsp canola oil
- cooking spray for bowl
- half of a stock pot of water, boiling
- 2/3 cup baking soda
- coarse sea salt
proof yeast in water with honey until frothy in a mixer bowl
turn on mixer with bread dough attachment
alternate oil, salt, and dry ingredients
have mixer knead bread for 5-7 minutes
dough should be springy and stretchy, not tacky
if bread is tacky, add more flour
transfer to oiled bowl
cover lightly with tea towel
let rise one hour
punch down dough
let rise one more hour
roll out into half inch wide rope
cut into half-inch bites
bring water to boil and turn oven to 450F
when water comes to boil, whisk in baking soda
boil 12-15 bites at a time for 30 seconds
place directly onto cookie sheet and sprinkle with salt while wet
bake ten minutes