Use Your Taser at the Portable Peep Show

I think that Sunday is purposefully sneaking up on me! With all of the hot weather, it seems as though one day has bled into another, creating hours-long nightmares of being stuck indoors with a fan blowing up your skirt. Marilyn Monroe had the right idea.

Alas, I cannot simply revolve my entire week around Sunday Night Cable tv, now can I? (Yes, I capitalized that as a title, because it’s the best effing night on tv, and the only night in which I deign to set down my book to watch it.)

So, since it’s been so effing hot, let me tell you how I’ve been spending my time, a quick list.

Reading: obviously.

coloring (with my kids)

devising a way to magnetize “Jenga” so those of us with unsteady hands can finally play.

creating my own, personal superhero with a kick-ass superpower like laser boobs or magnetic fingers for playing magnetic jenga

telling my 5yo son to draw a superhero with “laser boobs” and then trying not to die of the laughter that results.

watching old after-school specials online, because, reasons. (I had no idea that every man in a trench coat was a perv with a portable peep show waiting to happen…I think I’ll start randomly tasing (tazing?) men in trench coats and see what happens. Hey, if they’re not pervs, they’re probably bankers, right? win/win!)

thisisallofthestuffIdidafterItookambienandthenIforgotwhatIdid

I read some more.

I made Sunday Sweet.

OH HOLLA!!

Not ONLY is today Sunday Sweet, but it’s also NATIONAL ICE CREAM DAY!!!

Well, so yeah. My kids can’t have dairy. So I made VEGAN ice cream. It’s AMAZING.

Shut it down, Judgy McJudgersons! Try it. You’ll like it.

Vegan Cookies and Cream Ice Cream

Vegan Cookies and Cream Ice Cream

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: freeze time-3 hours

Keywords: no bake ice-cream

Ingredients (3-4 servings)

  • 2 sliced, frozen, overripe bananas
  • 4 tbsp creamy natural peanut butter
  • 1 tbsp maple syrup
  • the cream of one can of coconut milk, or one half of one can of coconut cream (refrigerate milk, use the fats that have separated)
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 4 vegan chocolate wafers (SO many brands) crushed

Instructions

puree all ingredients save for wafers in food pro

stir in wafers

place in a ziploc bag and press all of the air out

place that one in another ziploc bag

freeze for 3 hours, massaging bag every 30 minutes

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5 Responses to Use Your Taser at the Portable Peep Show

  1. Umm yum!! That looks super delicious :)

  2. MizFit says:

    best best best title ever.

  3. Laser Boobs! coming soon to a Wired article near you :)

    Thanks for the vegan ice-cream – great for those of us who are lactose intolerant and are still melting!

  4. Vegan ice cream! I’m totally McJudging you.
    Alright not really, only because I’d eat pretty much any kind of ice cream, except froyo because that’s not actually ice cream.

  5. Pingback: Dairy Free Chocolate Almond Ice Cream

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