Even Cavemen Get the Blues

Just in case none of you can understand this post, let it be said that 16 month old babies with colds and/or fevers, can scream all night. In fact, even after they’ve gone hoarse from their screams, they can scream some more. It’s impressive.

Good thing she’s friggen adorable.

My cuteness keeps my mother from becoming an alcoholic.

Moving on…

Let’s talk about first impressions. We all know how important they are, and how it is often impossible to change your opinion of someone that you inferred from your first impression. If someone doesn’t meet your gaze, or has a weak handshake, that part of your hindbrain that’s always assessing competition, shouts “weak! weak!”

In the span of 20 seconds, you can assess someone’s personality based on grip, eye contact, and tenor of voice. Limp fish handshake? Soft spoken person who stares at the floor? Shudder. Strong eye contact and strong grip? A resonant voice that speaks with purpose? Memorable.

Sidenote: I get the feeling that Kristin Stewart shakes hands with her palm down and pulls her shirt over her head to greet you. Just a guess. Ok, that’s unfair. She may give you one of those warm smiles she’s so known for. It just so happens it looks just like her grimace, and her look of despair, and her look of astonishment, and her look of sheer joy.

We don’t just get first impressions from people. We get first impressions of gyms that we work out in, diets we consider, foods we eat.

I will admit that the first impression I got from the much hyped “paleo” diet, was a negative one. I am a firm believer in the natural order of things, and that we developed the way we have for a reason. For the most part, I still believe this. If cavemen were meant to be here, and were the epitome of health, we wouldn’t be here. I don’t know about you, but I like my flat iron and beer that I don’t need to brew, let alone not eating piles of dead things….

I am also a HUGE proponent for eating LESS meat, not more. Not only because of the natural, ethical implications of life sustaining life, but also because of the environmental implications. Raising livestock takes a LOT of water, carbon, and natural resources that we so desperately need. That doesn’t even go into the fact that the huge factory farms are oft in the public eye for their lecherous working conditions, and environmental abuses.

I will admit, I didn’t give even the idea of paleo much of a chance. Until yesterday. I met a PALEO VEGETARIAN. I had no idea this even existed. She does eat dairy and eggs, though not much cheese to speak of, and eats TONS of veggies. TONS. She simply eliminates sugars and grains other than fruits and corn.

I.was.gobsmacked.

I remembered reading this article a few months ago, and found it utterly intriguing. After meeting the vegetable paleo princess, I thought she might be on to something. I am by NO means giving up my grains, but I am opening my mind to the idea of reducing them. I have no idea what that means for me, but I do know that I’ve been unbelievably bloaty for a while now. I need to try something. I also know I have a sugar addiction, and that this time of year, with all of its Halloween candy, and apple pie, I could easily go overboard. I blame kitkat for making bags of Halloween candy with white, milk, and dark chocolate kitkats in one bag. Bastards. Break me off a piece of your HEAD!

You can never be too rich, too thin, or have too many boxes of sour patch kids at the ready, amirite?

Do I take back everything I thought about eating bacon wrapped chicken legs three times a day? Not a chance. I will admit that I didn’t give the approach the thoughtful consideration it deserved, and instead let myself be led by stereotypes.

If all stereotypes were true, that would mean that I, as an actor would talk about myself constantly. Wait…um….

So I made a paleo recipe.

Unsweetened Paleo Apple Butter. Spread it on toast!!! (mwahahahahaha)