Don’t Screw With Me, Leprechaun

It’s WIAW, and my collage maker is down. LAME. Therefore, I will more fiercely edit, tell you what I ate yesterday, and  show pictures of the most important stuff.

Breakfast was homemade, whole wheat, buttermilk donuts, dipped in cinnamon sugar. I had two mini donuts, a giant cup of coffee, and a pile of apple slices to assuage my food guilt over the donuts. Ok, so maybe I didn’t feel as guilty as I thought I should’ve felt, and therefore felt guilty over not feeling guilty, which is equally annoying as the hashtag on twitter #sorryimnotsorry.

By the way, if you use that hashtag regularly, sorry if my elbow finds your nose….in my imagination.

Lunch was half of a whole wheat bagel with low fat pumpkin cream cheese, and a side of tomatoes and cukes. The bagel was disappointing, because they didn’t toast it long enough, therefore, there were no crispy edges, which everyone knows, is the best part of the friggen bagel.

The edges were brown but not crispy. DUMB.

Also dumb? Kinda hilars, though? The captain gave the other half of my bagel to the Peanut..IN THE CAR.

Bathtime is too tame a word.

Dinner was post workout, and was a GIGANTOR Greek salad, a few cheese crackers (like 100) and an oreo (or 2).

After cardio and crossfit, I swear to uncertain deities (I don’t wish to cause any riots) I am STARVED. I fill up on as many fruits and veggies as I can swallow. I also felt really vindicated that I didn’t get froyo after the gym…until I had those oreos. DAMMIT.

The apple I DOMINATED missed the camera. oops.

Lately, I’ve been having problems with mindless snacking. I get bored and I snack. THIS IS A TERRIBLE PATTERN FOR ME. It’s how I got heavy to begin with. That, and my love of all things fried. (My family hails from West Virginia, I come by it honestly!!)

I have resolved to no longer purchase things like oreos or baked chips, no matter if the kiddies think they can’t possibly survive without them. I assure you, they can be just as sated on fruits, veggies, and the like just as I can.  I also need to figure out ways to distract my hand from going to my mouth. I should probably just use the cop’s cuffs to cuff myself to something. (don’t worry, nothing carnal. I don’t have a headboard) Maybe I need a little shocker on my hand that buzzes me when I reach for the oreos. I KNOW!!! I’ll hire a leprechaun to follow me, and kick my ass when I snack too often. Those damned things are sca-ry. Knowing my luck, my leprechaun will be a dancy, cereal loving sort.

I’ll get your lucky charms, bitch. Don’t challenge me.

Onto those crackers. THEY’RE ALLLLLL NATURAL and ALLLL delicious. In the words of the webmistress of WIAW, sisterwife, love o my life, Jenn ”if you’re concerned about the calories, life burns calories. Eat these in moderation.” Also? They are soooooooooo good dipped in peanut butter.

Homemade Cheese Crackers