As I have mentioned countless times over the history of my little blog, I am a voracious reader. I have an appetite for books that seemingly knows no bounds. I rarely watch tv. When I do turn on the TV, it’s for the news, or one of the select few series that I adore.
This is because there is only so much Honey Boo Boo one human can take before she finally snaps, puts on her ass-kicking boots, and boob punches anyone being seen feeding a toddler soda.
I try to keep my inner violent streak limited to my MMA classes. It’s better for the world that way.
I am rarely ashamed of ANY of my reading. There was once a time when reading a trashy novel on the subway was a fantastic way of thumbing my nose at all of the intellectual masses who hold open to one page of their heady novel. I zoom through my paperback, thinking upon looking up, “I CAN TELL YOU AREN’T REALLY READING THAT CHEKOV, YOU NANCY!!!” Now, in the age of “50 Shades of I don’t give a damn” trashy novels are oh so trendy, and I will admit to wanting to feel contrary by reading my well-loved copy of “Pride and Prejudice” on the train. Mr Darcy totally makes Christian Grey look like an asshole. (Really, really not hard. Also? Elizabeth could teach Ana some things about SELF-RESPECT.)
There is one sort of book that the very idea of being seen with it on the train makes me cringe: diet books. I am given a ton of these to review. Most of them I flip through, no desire to read their contents with any sort of scrutiny. For the most part they all say the same thing, “eat less, move more, you can do it, look like me!!!” Every once in a great while, though, there is one I really want to read.
Bust one of those hardcovers out, and bring on the stares and awkward conversation. “Why ya reading that? You don’t look like you need to lose weight.” or “Is it any good? I’ve had 10 lbs I’ve wanted to lose for 10 years” (duh, hasn’t EVERYONE?) People just open their mouth and dumassedness comes out.
Why is it that a book about getting healthy garners more attention than Perez Hilton’s autobiography? One, theoretically, imparts wisdom, the other makes you dumber just for cracking its binding. The latter actually makes me think things like the internet’s version of “The Lottery”, where we get to feed one site a virus every year in times square.
I think people just refuse to ask for help, and do not understand it when others actively seek it out. Tony Robbins is no longer “En Vogue”, and “Dr Oz” is acceptable because he’s a successful, good looking surgeon who women flock to hoping for an “exam”. The minute you open a Bob Harper or Jillian Michaels book, all hell breaks loose.
I think I’m going to need to make new dust jackets for my diet books that read “I’m Practically Having Sex Just By Reading This Next To You”. I’ll not get a second look.
Speaking of guilty pleasures, I made a SERIOUSLY guilty pleasure for dessert yesterday.
It is a bar. It’s the beautiful bastard offspring of a brownie, a blondie, and pumpkin cheesecake. (in dessert world, a threesome makes a baby…duh) It’s rich, and sweet, and so, so, so decadent. For the pictures I cut them in fairly large squares, in reality, I’d eat a quarter of that.
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 40 minutes
Keywords: bake dessert
Ingredients (16-20 brownies)
for the brownie layer
- 1 cup pumpkin puree
- 1 egg
- 1 2/3 cup brown sugar
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1/2 cup melted butter
- 1 tbsp pumpkin pie spice
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1 cup flour
for the cheesecake topping
- 4 oz SOFT cream cheese
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 cup powdered sugr
for the chocolate drizzle
- 4 oz dark chocolate, melted
preheat oven to 375F
for the brownie
BY HAND whip together wet ingredients,
stir in dry until JUST combined
pour into greased 9″ square pan
for the cheesecake topping
whip the ingredients in the mixture
drizzle cheesecake mix over brownie batter
swirl a bit into the batter
drizzle with chocolate
bake 35-40 minutes or until set in the center.