It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin

I feel like singing zippity doo dah today, so you don’t have to worry about another bummer post. Last night I went to a spin class called “The Mountain Experience”, and it was beyond ridiculous. The music was fantastic, the Viking, my Gaysian, and the Grave Robber were wall with me, and we sweat.it.out.

The teacher led us through drills which I thought might end up with me having one of those “spin” moments where you think you may fall of the bike and start projectile vomiting, but instead, my sides hurt with laughter, and my lungs hurt from laughing whilst on the ride. The class was extremely small, which is super odd, and the instructor took full advantage of this, and tortured us.

Before I go into the next part of my story, let me remind you that I am an actor, and taken out of context, this will sound really weird. Let me tell you this: most everything you do on camera is done over and over and over and over again. Different angles, different light, different motions, just to hear the lines said differently. It can be repetitive.

Yesterday, the thing I was doing over and over and over again was rubbing lotion/having lotion rubbed on my legs. Normally, I would just pantomime this, with no real lotion. Alas, it was a very close shot of said legs/(c)ankles, and there needed to be actual lotion. I tried to rub as much off as I could between takes, but a LOT of lotion remained. I felt so gross at the end of this. The grossest part of the whole night was after spin when I realized I was SWEATING the normally lovely Kiehl’s body lotion. How do you SWEAT lotion? After my shower? I was still all slippery, and I had shaved my damn legs in the shower.

On my way home from spin I text…you can probably guess. Her blog rhymes with Wees and Brayons.

I text her this…..by the way SUPER INAPPROPRIATENESS COMING UP….but we’re both married, and don’t pretend you wouldn’t have said or *thought* the same thing if it was one of your chummiest mates. Yes, I do have her in there as Jenn Peas, but I only just changed it because I am uncertain whether she posts her last name, though I think she does.

BTW, “jumping” was supposed to say “humping”, autocorrect autocorrected me from being dirtier. Don’t worry, I remedied that right after.

One of the other members of my posse, let’s call him “Broadway Baby” due to his job, told me my legs feel like a stripper pole in a whorehouse. How a gay man knows what that feels like is beyond me, and frankly, I’m glad for it.

Let’s just say the jokes only got worse from there….

Today I just feel a bit “greasy”. It is a vast improvement, let me assure you.

It’s Friday people!! That right there means LINK LOVE.

My FAVORITEST post of the week is Jenn’s WIAW post, because Tuesday night, her pilot came home from Afghanistan. He may have her for 1 week before we resume our 1am texting. P…you are ON ALERT, el capitan.

The next post is from Tina at Best Body Fitness, and it’s a Pyramid workout, much like a pyramid scheme, but with a better ass in the end. (catch my pun?)

Post number tres is from my sisterwife, Gina. She made roasted cherry frozen yogurt. Dayum. See you in 2 hours, G. I hope there’s some left. Also? I’ll leave the munchkins with family so we can make whiskey floats. (cherries and whisky are a match made in heaven)

Post number four, wow, I am jealous of this post. My friend, Theodora is musing on being lucky to run. How right she is. She’s also ridiculously smart and insightful…OH, and is always giving a coy smile if a camera is anywhere nearby. I am jealous of that, too.

Post number five is a good reminder to me that I am not alone on the “sometimes I just feel shitty” train. It’s my darling, Bex, and I love her honesty. I also love shaking my ass with her, but that’s a story for another time.

Post number six, and my last post for today is from Alfonso the Angry Trainer. If you haven’t read his blog before, you should. It’s a cornucopia of fitness info, and he talks about rest days. I love hanging with Alfonso. Just when you think he is the epitome of your typical “alpha male”, you say something, and he *blushes*. Apparently, even trainers who have been known to regularly pose naked in tiny underpinnings to be judged are not immune. Check out his blog.

What were your favorite reads this week?

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