Dungeons and Dragons’ Groupies Are Easy

I have been married 8 years today. I suppose my husband has as well, but we’re talking about me right now. Let’s face it, I’m a blogger, so this is pretty much all about memememememe. -I just spelled that meme meme meme, maybe I should add a piano playing cat or Ryan Gosling telling me something deep and insightful. Nah. In case you were wondering, yes, I was 13 when I got married. I know, it’s unconventional, but we were going for that whole “ancient Egypt-meets-Coal Miner’s Daughter-meets weird cult that was obviously dreamed up by a crazy white guy”. Or, I was in my extremely early 20s….remains to be seen.

It feels completely strange to think that my hubs and I have been together for over 9 years and married for 8. Time just keeps passing, it’s the peculiarest thing. (I just made that a word, so hush it up!) Our first date was a trip to a hibachi bar and a movie; “The Matrix Reloaded”. That was a terrible movie. At the end of our first date, he still thought I was in my mid-twenties (instead of barely 20. To be fair, I never mislead him, just let him make assumptions), and I thought he was cute, and kind of lame, because he kissed my forehead. Yup. My forehead. WHO DOES THAT?!?! As it turns out, it’s not that he didn’t want to kiss me, (seriously, who could resist?) the poor man just had NO GAME AT ALL. NONE. NOT A BIT. My big, bad, cop really is still a nerd playing D&D in a basement…Thankfully, I rolled the dice, (bad D&D joke) and decided a second date wouldn’t be the worst idea I’ve ever had. I went with it.

Our second date was far better. I would say I don’t “kiss and tell”, but I am pretty sure we all know that would be a pound of BS, so I will. He bumped my nose. Yup. NO.GAME. Again, he could shoot the wings off a pigeon in flight, but his mouth aim is a bit amiss. But he was funny about it, and made up for it later, so I decided to keep him around. That, and he sent me a giant bouquet of orchids. Lady slipper orchids. Lady slipper orchids will get you to second base. I think that may make me sound easy….oh well. We’re married. So it’s a bit of a moot point. We got engaged 3 months later. I think it’s clear; I’m easy…

The sad/funny thing is that 8 years into marriage, dinner and lady slipper orchids basically turns me into a “sure thing”. Hell, so does cleaning the bathroom without me asking you to. The best part about this entire post? NONE of my friends who read the blog will ever ever ever think of the cop cleaning the bathroom the same way ever again, and I’ll laugh every damn time. See? I’m an easy laugh, too. I guarantee the Navajo (and I was corrected, he is also part Apache, and this was made clear to me for my blogging purposes) and the Gaysian, along with my bestie, whom we will refer to as “Orsoneth Welles” will make many jokes at the cop’s expense about cleaning pipes. I.Love.My.Friends.

To celebrate my wedded bliss, I made a salad..Ok, I made it yesterday, and I ate a ridiculous amount of the stuff standing in the kitchen, but what’s your point?

Chickpea, Edamame, and Cilantro Salad.

Chickpea, Edamame, and Cilantro Salad
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What Goes In?

  • 1, 15.5 oz can of chickpeas, drained
  • 1 cup shelled edamame (thawed from frozen)
  • 1 small red onion, diced
  • 1 pint grape tomatoes, quartered or halved
  • 1 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
  • 1 medium cucumber, seeded and diced
  • 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
  • 1.5 tbsp dijon mustard
  • juice of one lime
  • 2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
  • salt and pepper to taste

Avengers, Assemble!

  1. combine the lime juice, mustard, vinegar, salt, and pepper in a bowl and whisk
  2. stir together all other ingredients
  3. pour dressing over veggies
  4. toss.
  5. let sit, taste for seasoning, serve.
  6. *the longer this salad marinates, the better it gets...if you can wait.

19 thoughts on “Dungeons and Dragons’ Groupies Are Easy

  1. Bahahahahaha he kissed your forehead!? That's just awesome! I think I heart him more now! We Obvi celebrated last night but I'll say it again - happy anniversary!!!! And your photos fucking rock. Hard. Submit them to gawker.
  2. I'm with Chris D: You had me at the first paragraph. Can't wait to read about your 20th anniversary. Hurry up, will ya?! My hubster and I celebrate #22 next month. I think that's the aluminum gift year. We met on a blind date. Boy are his eyes open now!
  3. ohh yes, love the marriage stories and happy anniversary! I think out first movie was Borat. I don't know how we've last 5 years. That movie ruined me. LOL

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