G-d and Dr Oz are Besties…

This morning I am sick and tired of the remnants of my gastric bypass. This morning’s post is baked oatmeal, and I accidentally made it with sweetened coconut milk and honey, and I am so. so. sick. I am basically writing this post lying halfway down, praying to G-d, Jesus, and Dr Oz that I get ill enough to *actually* get sick. Am I a bulimic? It sounds like it, doesn’t it? Nope. I am like millions of other gastric bypass patients that still sometimes deal with the remnants of the surgery 7 years later. It’s like a less cute version of a prom baby. One mistake leads to a lifetime of consequences. I didn’t even get a Bud Light before my mistake. I. was. sober.

I was a dumbass. I didn’t believe in myself enough to think I could lose the weight on my own. I ended up letting myself down over and over again over this.

The breakfast was delicious, and my kids ate it heartily, I just couldn’t take it. You scamps, with your functional, in tact intestinal system will have no problem simply enjoying the baked oatmeal. It is however, giving me the cold sweats.

Peanut Butter Banana Dark Chocolate Baked Oatmeal


Peanut Butter Banana Dark Chocolate Baked Oatmeal

by Cat Tan

Keywords: bake breakfast vegetarian vegan


  • 2.5 cups oatmeal
  • 1/3 cup honey
  • 1 chia egg (3 tbsp water + 1 tbsp chia seeds, combined and set aside for 15 minutes)
  • 1.5 tsp baking soda
  • 1/3 cup peanut butter
  • 1/2 cup chocolate chips
  • 2 sliced bananas


Preheat oven to 375F

combine all ingredients, save for banana

pour into greased pie tin

top with sliced bananas

bake for 35 minutes

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21 thoughts on “G-d and Dr Oz are Besties…

  1. Dearest ****cake, [look i tried to censor myself! hah!] the chocolate chips and bananas arranged on top of this monstrocity make me weak in the knees. well played bitch, well played. oh.. there goes my censor. I'm gonna teach you an angle trick. maybe i'll do a post on it? b/c your styling freaking rocks on this but the angle shot would be the icing on the oatmeal. Did you photo edit? brighten? i like! and sweet baby jesus if all oatmeal looked like this [like a freaking cookie pie!] then I would be an oatmeal enthusiast. for real ok i'm blabbering. and anyone who isnt you and is reading this is probably like "that jenn chick is a real bitchface!" but i'm not. promise. not on fridays at least =) love. your. face. off.
  2. Oh good Lord! my heart started racing when I saw this picture.. and then I saw the healthy ingredients and my brain was happy too! I am making this tomorrow morning before my run... now off to Pin.
  3. This looks amazing, but I just have 1 question--when you say 2.5 cups of oatmeal, do you mean prepared oatmeal or simply 2.5 cups of oats?

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