I Have Lead In My Ass

Happy WIAW! (Thanks, Jenn!!)

It’s an especially happy What I Ate Wednesday because I think Jesus blessed my macbook cord or something, because that thing pulled a Lazarus yesterday and just popped back to life. Was Steve Jobs canonized and made a saint when I wasn’t paying attention? Can you have more than one St Steven? Is Saint capitalized? Dang it, where’s my Catholic husband when I need him?!??!

Either way, I was dancing like David when it started working.

Speaking of miracles, I found a new gym. A gym with seemingly few stinky naked people, but just as many juiced out Brooklynites. I don’t think I am going to be completely rid of the leering problem. I tried out a gym in the hipster neighborhood, and the hipsters still stare, they just don’t really have the cojones to come up to you. I haven’t a clue which one I prefer. I am willing to bet the hipster conversation might be more interesting and not revolve around sports and nutritional supplements. It would be indie rock, British TV, and artisinal charcuterie. Wanting to show me their “hot salami” has two very different meanings between the groups.

Yesterday, at my and the gaysians new gym, we took “Urban Rebounding”. It’s an entire class on a trampoline. I don’t suggest this on days where you feel like going braless or drunk to class. Fortunately, I rarely ever even sleep braless, and I only show up to class drunk on Saturday mornings.

The class was so.much.fun. Who’d have thought that you could have that much fun on such tiny trampolines? Or that you would wake up with lead in every inch of your lower half? After the class is over, you feel like you’re sixty pounds heavier than you were in the beginning of class. It made my leg presses and impressively embarrassing donkey kick machine very tricky; like threading a needle on Ambien, tricky. I felt like only the lower half of me went on a week long bender with a fraternity sponsored by Michelob.

I love a new, challenging workout. I love challenging myself in general. I fully believe it makes you a stronger, more intelligent, and more interesting, better person.

One of my favorite phrases is:

“If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?”  – TS Eliot

If I am not challenging myself, I feel stagnant, like a lake full of muck and mire that only grows what it’s always grown, not attracting any new plants or wildlife. When I seek to challenge myself I feel like the rushing and meandering river that is always picking up new life, and changing the world around it, providing life and energy.

I suppose this is why I am a constant student, always taking new classes, always reading more books, and trying new things. I thrive on my one constant being change. (Other than lunch, that should most always remain peanut butter.)

It also prevents boredom. I get bored so damn easily. Things that are harder, things that require my complete concentration, don’t bore me. They thrill me. I think this is why I KICK ASS at putting together Ikea furniture. I really think it is the measure of a person, how much they are willing to challenge themselves in order to change their situation. How fast do you give up on something that is difficult?

If you are trying to lose weight, and have a bad meal or snack, do you just say “F it all, now! Pass the lasagna!”, or do you step back, re-assess the situation, and move on and do better at the very next meal? I know I’ve done both, but I ALWAYS feel better, and more confident when I do the latter. I also know that my weight loss fares far better.

Speaking of, I am in the process of muscling up for a role. Since yesterday was cardio day, it was also “carb day”, and life was good. I love carbs. They’re chewy in the best way, and I may have cried a few tears of carb-cycling joy.

Yesterday I had basil and eggs, popcorn that looked like a penis, peanut and pumkin butter sandwich, veggie pizza, and I had a sensually massaged kale salad. Not pictured? a crapton of cantaloupe with sea salt.

Since I did NOT get to post my planned recipe yesterday, I shall post it for you today!!

Easy Vegan Lentil Chili that tastes AWESOME.

vegan lentil chili

by Cat Tan

Keywords: soup/stew entree vegan


  • 2 cups lentils
  • 1 can kidney beans, drained
  • 1 can black beans, drained
  • 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 large onion, chopped
  • 1 bag frozen corn kernels
  • 1 large can or box of chopped tomatoes with their juice
  • 8 oz chopped mushrooms
  • 2 bell peppers, chopped
  • 3 cloves of garlic, minced
  • 1 qt vegetable broth
  • 2 tbsp tomato paste
  • 2 tbsp cumin
  • 1 tbsp (or less) chipotle powder
  • 1 tsp cocoa powder
  • 2 tsp smoked paprika
  • 1/2 tsp coriander
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp onion powder
  • 1 cup chopped cilantro
  • salt and fresh ground pepper


in a large stock pot, heat the oil on medium high, add in the mushrooms and stir until brown and tender

add in onions and saute until tender add some salt and pepper

turn heat to medium and add garlic and bell pepper

stir in all remaining ingredients and simmer on low for 1 hour.

Serve over a baked sweet potato or with rice or bread and a dollop of greek yogurt.


add salt and pepper as you go, keep tasting for spice and flavor.

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11 thoughts on “I Have Lead In My Ass

  1. why did you have to tease me by putting it into a sweet potato!? i want it even MORE now! =) If that's at all possible. Glad your cord came back to life. I'm contemplating buying a multi-pack of the damn things just in case so, i've got your back. those things are hands down apples shittiest invention -- they always break!
  2. I did an Urban Rebounder class at Fitbloggin last year. It was so much harder than it looks and a great workout! I remember my legs feeling pretty shot after it then, too. And I literally laughed out loud at the "my cord pulled a Lazarus" comment!-
  3. There are always some people at every gym that rub the wrong way! Hope your new one is less so! :-) I work out at wee hours but before I could, I just ignored them or gave them my "don't mess with me" face! ;-) On food mess up - ALWAYS move on & just get back to it - that is my philosophy otherwise one will never reach their goals.... Great recipe - THX!!!

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