Massaged by Angel Fingers

I get about seven hundred thousand email newsletters every day. Most of the emails are about food and sample sales. I also get a few that are about fashion. I am in no way a fashionista, but I like to look at pretty things, and pretend to be.

Today, I received an email all about “simple swaps to improve your look”. It.was.hysterical.

“You like wearing $1 Old Navy flip flops? You SHOULD be wearing $300 sandals from Scoop!!!”

“You’ve been wearing hoodies every day? What you really need is a BOMBER JACKET!!”

The title of the email was actually “stop being lazy”. I think they may be a tad out of touch. It should have been titled “It seems rather unfortunate to us that you aren’t a millionaire.”

Even top fitness magazines have articles like “look hot at the gym”. Or, “the ultra exclusive gym; is it worth it?”

Sweet Lord, if we of the flip flop set had the pesos to buy strappy sandals from a posh NYC boutique, would we? I hope that if I ever become a more successful actor, I really hope I still give these emails the finger.

I see this stupid crap at the gym, too. Unfortunately, I also see it in my little blog world.

“Would you like to see my new LuLuLemon tank to go with my lulu pants and gold studded running sneakers that actually give me wings?”

“Don’t worry, if you can’t afford 10 lbs of rhubarb, that’s FINE, feel free to add 5 lbs of organic strawberries”.

“When I was at my $300/month gym, I spent time with my $150/hr trainer to look good in my $95 dollar running capris.”

It’s awesome, wonderful, and totally ok to belong to a $300/month gym where you wear your liquid gold leggings and sneakers blessed by Zeus. I hope to join you one day. I’d really like to know what my legs think about being hugged by what must feel like the moisturized hands of angels.

What isn’t ok is calling the clothing and gyms the majority of people can afford, “lazy”. Nor is it ok to speak poorly about where other people go to work out, or the fact that conventional strawberries are what they can afford.

We should lift one another up, not tear them down. If you truly only wear LuLu? Great, but beware, if that’s all you talk about, I probably find you vapid. We are more than what we wear, where we workout,  what we eat, and how we plan our day. For goodness sakes, aren’t people better than that?

We are awesome in our Old Navy capris or our LuLuLemon ta-ta-tamer bras. We’re all working together toward the same goal, healthy bodies.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I was “lazy” last night and made a very simple, affordable, and damned delicious appetizer. I am sure it would be just as popular with bajillionaires as it is with my strictly middle class family.

Hot Baked Spinach Dip