I Don’t Like Pigs With Accents.

It’s friday, and in case you aren’t aware, we’re but a mere few weeks La Dia De Las Madres. Do I have even close to one single, mother-loving idea as to what to get my mom? NOPE! Do I have a few ideas what my husband/kids can get for me? You BETCHA!

Normally, my typical response to this is “a nap, some wine, and pizza.” (save for last year, when I just wanted to NOT be pregnant anymore!!!) This year, however, my goals and requests are a bit loftier.

I would like a massage. A very long, very quiet massage with a cocktail nearby. I want there to be dim light, no one screaming, no one begging me to make them eggs or get them a lollipop, no baseball on the tv. OH, and i have a request for a specific masseuse.


I am allergic to most flowers, so those are out. However, if my husband and kids were to get me anything in a vase, other than flowers (or the ashes of my enemies…jk) I would suggest filling the vase with iced dunkin donuts coffee and giving me a straw. I know this conflicts with my napping request, but I really like coffee. I also wouldn’t mind if the man pictured above was my manservant for the day.

My largest request may actually be harder than finding Joe Manganiello and convincing him to be my personal masseuse, I want an entire day where there is NO “Yo Gabba Gabba”, or “The Fresh Beat Band” or ever loving, mother trucking, “Peppa Pig” and “Olivia”. One show about a pig with no consequences is enough, why must we have TWO????? Olivia messes up her Dad’s entire architectural presentation for a client and replaces it with a cardboard rendition, complete with hearts and stars? AWESOME. Just what the client wanted. She’s cast as a tree in a play? NBD, she’ll be the lead soon enough. UGH. THAT DAMN PIG MAKES ME HUNGRY FOR A BLT. I promise, that sow has been MORE than humanely raised. She’s been down right pampered.

Oh, and Peppa pig is British and you just know she thinks she’s better than me.

I also want to go on a lonnnnnnng run with a semi-inappropriate audiobook, preferably with someone who is not me, who is in mortal danger, who kicks someone’s ass and doesn’t need to be rescued by someone bearing manbits. I want to listen to Barbra Streisand music, drink strawberry infused water, and see no smokers or bicyclists on the running path. I also want free reign to be able to elbow said smokers/bikers in the teeth. I feel like they wouldn’t do it again if they got elbowed. It would at least make me feel better for .11 seconds.

And even though I cook almost every day, I don’t want to enter the kitchen for anything more than refilling my wine glass on mother’s day.

Lucky for you, yesterday was NOT mother’s day, and I cooked. Kind of. I assembled and stuck it in a crock pot overnight. NO! It’s not oatmeal. It’s better. It’s healthy french toast casserole. It serves 6 and has a measly 240 calories per serving. I know. You can’t believe how awesome I am. You’ll have to pardon my pictures, I had an eleven month old who refused to wait for breakfast. She doesn’t yet understand the concept of “I promise, I’ll feed you your breakfast just as soon as mommy takes pictures of your food”.

Healthy Crock Pot French Toast Casserole

Healthy Crock Pot French Toast Casserole

by Cat Tan

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: overnight

Ingredients (6-8 servings)

  • 6-9 slices slightly stale whole wheat bread (I used Ezekiel bread-80 cals/slice)
  • 3 cups vanilla coconut milk
  • 1/2 cup egg whites
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/4 cup honey
  • 3 tbsp dark chocolate chips
  • 2 bananas, sliced


mix all of the wet ingredients together and whisk well

layer a single layer of bread into the bottom of the crock pot

top with a single banana, sliced

pour one third of wet mixture on top

add another layer of bread and banana and another third of the wet mix

top with bread and chocolate chips

pour remaining mix overtop,

set crock pot to medium overnight

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13 thoughts on “I Don’t Like Pigs With Accents.

  1. Wow. I should have checked w/ you before I put in my request! I asked for the blue laundry folding thing that Sheldon has. I plan on using it at least as enthusiastically as he does, if not more! just in case you're unsure what I'm talking about:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kZUWkB7eZE
  2. You lie that it is only 240 calories. Wowzers. I haven't sat down to think about what I want yet. That would require some peace and quiet. Two things that don't seem to readily available to me these days. Maybe just quiet time. No yelling, temper tantrums (we are having boatloads of these and my son is only 15 mo. - I don't even want to think what he will be like at 2), or requests. Just time to read, run, and (w)rite...
  3. I adore Alcide, but would gladly let you have him, as long as I get to have Eric (who is the step-son of a friend of mine...she so far has not arranged a meet-up - she's obviously not that good of a friend). Also - French toast in a crockpot? Yum!
  4. 1). I want a tool box. With pink tools. So none of the "men" in my life use it. ;o) 2). Pretty sure that french toast is more than 240 calories per serving because I'm pretty sure one serving for me would be the whole crockpot. YUM!
  5. What size is your crockpot? I have a 7qt, so I have to make sure it's got enough in it or it will burn. And I hear you about that Peppa Pig!

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