I have a problem.
This problem has no 12 step program that I’m aware of.
I have lost the ability to talk on the phone. I am addicted to texting and tweeting.
I find myself wanting to speak in hashtags and abbreviations in normal conversation. Wanting to say things that will inevitably make me sound like a mouth-breathing moron such as “LMAO” or “TWSS” instead of, I don’t know, LAUGHING MY ASS OFF for real, or saying “that’s what she said”. Anyone who has ever met me for longer than 6 minutes or at someplace other than fancy boutiques, where I am intimidated into stunned silence, knows I am rarely at a loss for words. I am your typical, boisterous, silence-makes-me-uncomfortable-so-I’ll-fill-it-with-something-inappropriate, person. #duh.
One of the biggest signs G-d gave me that the cop was the one for me, was my ability to maintain companionable silence with him. I was happy just to be quiet with him. I was also happy to be loud with him, but to spare my parents, who read my blog, I will refrain from the details.
However, in this age of social media, I find myself positively impotent if someone does not text or understand the language of twitter. If I am required to hold a normal, human, conversation with someone who doesn’t share DNA or breeding habits with me, I have no idea what to say. The phone is like this chasm I cannot cross. Will they understand that sarcasm is my first language? What happens if I CANNOT SPEAK IN CAPS CLEARLY? #ohnoImscrewed; I think to myself.
I don’t know if I have a fear that I’ll start talking like the books I read, and start talking like an Austen character (Eleanor) or the mysterious cadence of a vampire, but the fear is in my head, beating like a drum. If I’m on the phone with another actor, I’m good. It doesn’t matter how contrived my language is, it will seem normal to them. If I’m on the phone with say, someone NORMAL, (no matter what you hear, we actors are NOT normal) I’m effed.
Please, sweet baby deity of your choosing, tell me I am not the only one. Tell me I am not the only phone-o-phobic person out there.
How did I come by this realization? I was texting the one and only What I Ate Wednesday’s Jenn. I realized I don’t typically talk to people while I’m toweling off from the shower; it seems odd. Texting, however? TOTALLY normal. I fear our society may be forever damaged. Or forever improved. I mean, multitasking? Hello? Awesome and awful. I may have neglected to shave a leg once or twice due to a text message.
Speaking of WIAW, It’s still eat your friggen vegetables if I have to hold a gun to your head, month, so I obliged happily. It’s a good thing I prefer vegetables to pretty much anything other than sugar.
oats with uncle sam and blueberries, radishes, salad, polenta triangles with vegetarian bolognese, and a brownie made with chobani
Dinner, the Polenta triangles with vegetarian bolognese, was etherial. I can’t begin to tell you how hard it was for me to keep to a reasonable portion. Creamy, light, subtly cheesy polenta squares, topped with a decadent, deceptively healthy, mushroom, onion, red wine, tomato, and garlic ragu. Hold me, you scamps, I can’t handle it.
I made that meal even healthier by adding healthy living blogland’s favorite, chia seeds. WHAT DID I DO? OH YES I DID! I actually think it held the polenta together easier for the gentle sear I gave it. Fab.
Polenta Triangles with Vegetarian Bolognese.
Polenta Triangles with Vegetarian Bolognese
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 1 hour 45 minutes
Ingredients
for the polenta triangles
- 1 cup cornmeal polenta
- 3 cups water
- 1 cup skim milk
- 1/2 cup veggie stock
- 1 cup low-fat, shredded mozzarella
- 1/3 cup chia seeds
- salt and pepper
- extra virgin olive oil to sear with
for the bolognese
- 8 oz mushrooms, sliced or diced
- 1 onion, diced
- 1 box or can of diced tomatoes
- 1 bunch basil
- 1 tsp dry oregano
- 3 carrots, small dice
- 2 tbsp chopped garlic
- 1/2 cup red wine (such as chianti or cab)
- salt and pepper
- 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
Instructions
for the polenta
bring the milk, water, and stock to a boil on high
kick it down to a slower simmer
stir in polenta and chia
stir until soft-25 minutes
add in cheese and salt and pepper
pour into a 13″-9″ pan and place in the freezer for 25 minutes
slice into triangles
heat evoo on a griddle pan on medium high
sear the polenta on each side for 2 minutes
top with bolognese
for the bolognese
heat 1/4 of the oil in the pan on high
add in mushrooms and sautee until brown
remove mushrooms and set aside
add remaining oil to the pan on medium
saute carrots and onions until soft
add garlic and tomatoes
stir in salt, pepper, basil, oregano, wine, and mushrooms
let simmer 30 minutes
pour over polenta and serve
Are you phone impotent?
Is there a cialis equivalent for this problem? What would the commercial be like? Two gen-y’ers with nothing to say to one another, simply tweeting across the table?
muahahaha! I obvi have the same texting-slash-ADD-slash-obsession-slash-insertadjectiveherei’mboredoftypingalready!
what now! =)
happy WIAW. why did you not offer to cook for me when I was in town!? #jilted But serioulsy, the polenta looks bomb
I am having the hardest time finding a cute gingham dress for the peanut for her party.
I do that too!!! I keep waiting for the day that I say LOL out loud…it’s bound to happen. I also wish I could use hashtags on Facebook…haha! Happy WIAW!
oh. it WILL happen.
It happened to me also.lol. Since I started texting I don’t call anymore like I used too.I’m so hungry just by looking at those pictures.
Your Polenta Triangles are beautiful. I will have to try your recipe. Have a great WIAW!
thank you, you too!
I am obsessed with polenta! Yours looks delish! I am trying this recipe for sure. Great pics too.
thank you, Maria
Your recipe looks incredible!! I love mushrooms and I have to try it!!
Thanks!
it’s really easy!!
Oh texting. it is the best thing that ever happened to me. I hate talking on the phone. texting is the only way to communicate!
yes!
yes, just yes. love the looks of this one!
You had me at polenta! Printing this recipe! Thanks for sharing. Happy WIAW. Jana
and to you!
I’ve always wanted to make a vegetarian bolognase sauce…thank you!! And I’m sharing this will all my veggie friends because it needs to be made.
here’s my best tip. drink the rest of the bottle as you cook it.
I could honestly live without my cell phone & texting!
What a great recipe! Thanks for sharing!
I would honestly die without it.
My BFF and I #hashtag each other all the time. I’m glad we’re not alone.
That polenta looks amazing. #Amazing.
#gratitude
I have never been motivated to try polenta, but you sure made it look good. I think I’ll reconsider.
if you’ve never been entranced by its goodness, you need to be.
I never text and I tweet even less, so I guess we’re not very compatible.
I’m curious about tweeting though, so I’ll have to keep dropping by to see what tips I can pick up. I think my girls would like those polenta triangles!
sure we are! just as long as you’re ok with awkward silences and rambling.
I love texting because I am a rambler. Texting = no rambling.
Your food looks delicious. And I’m starving.
tell anyone it’s fancy grits and I’ll cut you.
LOL, such a funny post. LMAO! I don’t text so much but I certainly hang out on skype a lot (my friends live all over the world), and yeap, chatting also makes you want to say things like LMAO.
Haha, I’m also so used to be online that the phone just seems weird. Texting? Cool. Actually talking… what’s that?
Love love love the polenta triangles and your addition of chia seeds.
PS – I’m hosting a giveaway on my blog. Check it out if you’re interested.
I don’t even have a cell phone. I am addicted to looking at people’s WIAW, though.
Your food looks yummy!
I realized I had a phone problem when I stopped answering calls and started thinking to myself “if it’s important they’ll text or tweet me”, when really, if it’s important; isn’t a phone call crucial? To make it worse I have become the most awkward phone conversationalist, it drives my dad (who hates technology) insane. In real life you can’t get me to shut up though, that’s the kicker!
I never talk on the phone! Texting, tweeting, and facebooking all the way
I’m pretty sure you can invent any kind of 12 step. I’ll join. I have the patience to talk on the phone for 0.0002 seconds. I want to hashtag my vocal sentences so people will know what kind of mood I’m in. Also, I want all your food. #notjoking
I definitely have a phone phobia. I much prefer to text or message on FB. Not sure why?
The polenta looks delish!
Yes, completely. My husband and I email and text each other…across the apartment and um, maybe even sitting next to each other on the couch. It’s ridiculous. I’ve lost the ability to have a conversation.
Sometimes I just look at the phone when it rings, turn it on silent, and put it out of arm’s reach. If they really wanna talk to me, they’ll leave me a message. Or (preferably) text me.
Or email me.
Or tweet me.
Heaven forbid I have to form words with my mouth (it should be too busy eating polenta and sweet potato chips.)