I have a problem.
This problem has no 12 step program that I’m aware of.
I have lost the ability to talk on the phone. I am addicted to texting and tweeting.
I find myself wanting to speak in hashtags and abbreviations in normal conversation. Wanting to say things that will inevitably make me sound like a mouth-breathing moron such as “LMAO” or “TWSS” instead of, I don’t know, LAUGHING MY ASS OFF for real, or saying “that’s what she said”. Anyone who has ever met me for longer than 6 minutes or at someplace other than fancy boutiques, where I am intimidated into stunned silence, knows I am rarely at a loss for words. I am your typical, boisterous, silence-makes-me-uncomfortable-so-I’ll-fill-it-with-something-inappropriate, person. #duh.
One of the biggest signs G-d gave me that the cop was the one for me, was my ability to maintain companionable silence with him. I was happy just to be quiet with him. I was also happy to be loud with him, but to spare my parents, who read my blog, I will refrain from the details.
However, in this age of social media, I find myself positively impotent if someone does not text or understand the language of twitter. If I am required to hold a normal, human, conversation with someone who doesn’t share DNA or breeding habits with me, I have no idea what to say. The phone is like this chasm I cannot cross. Will they understand that sarcasm is my first language? What happens if I CANNOT SPEAK IN CAPS CLEARLY? #ohnoImscrewed; I think to myself.
I don’t know if I have a fear that I’ll start talking like the books I read, and start talking like an Austen character (Eleanor) or the mysterious cadence of a vampire, but the fear is in my head, beating like a drum. If I’m on the phone with another actor, I’m good. It doesn’t matter how contrived my language is, it will seem normal to them. If I’m on the phone with say, someone NORMAL, (no matter what you hear, we actors are NOT normal) I’m effed.
Please, sweet baby deity of your choosing, tell me I am not the only one. Tell me I am not the only phone-o-phobic person out there.
How did I come by this realization? I was texting the one and only What I Ate Wednesday’s Jenn. I realized I don’t typically talk to people while I’m toweling off from the shower; it seems odd. Texting, however? TOTALLY normal. I fear our society may be forever damaged. Or forever improved. I mean, multitasking? Hello? Awesome and awful. I may have neglected to shave a leg once or twice due to a text message.
Speaking of WIAW, It’s still eat your friggen vegetables if I have to hold a gun to your head, month, so I obliged happily. It’s a good thing I prefer vegetables to pretty much anything other than sugar.
Dinner, the Polenta triangles with vegetarian bolognese, was etherial. I can’t begin to tell you how hard it was for me to keep to a reasonable portion. Creamy, light, subtly cheesy polenta squares, topped with a decadent, deceptively healthy, mushroom, onion, red wine, tomato, and garlic ragu. Hold me, you scamps, I can’t handle it.
I made that meal even healthier by adding healthy living blogland’s favorite, chia seeds. WHAT DID I DO? OH YES I DID! I actually think it held the polenta together easier for the gentle sear I gave it. Fab.
Polenta Triangles with Vegetarian Bolognese.
Polenta Triangles with Vegetarian Bolognese
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 1 hour 45 minutes
for the polenta triangles
- 1 cup cornmeal polenta
- 3 cups water
- 1 cup skim milk
- 1/2 cup veggie stock
- 1 cup low-fat, shredded mozzarella
- 1/3 cup chia seeds
- salt and pepper
- extra virgin olive oil to sear with
for the bolognese
- 8 oz mushrooms, sliced or diced
- 1 onion, diced
- 1 box or can of diced tomatoes
- 1 bunch basil
- 1 tsp dry oregano
- 3 carrots, small dice
- 2 tbsp chopped garlic
- 1/2 cup red wine (such as chianti or cab)
- salt and pepper
- 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
for the polenta
bring the milk, water, and stock to a boil on high
kick it down to a slower simmer
stir in polenta and chia
stir until soft-25 minutes
add in cheese and salt and pepper
pour into a 13″-9″ pan and place in the freezer for 25 minutes
slice into triangles
heat evoo on a griddle pan on medium high
sear the polenta on each side for 2 minutes
top with bolognese
for the bolognese
heat 1/4 of the oil in the pan on high
add in mushrooms and sautee until brown
remove mushrooms and set aside
add remaining oil to the pan on medium
saute carrots and onions until soft
add garlic and tomatoes
stir in salt, pepper, basil, oregano, wine, and mushrooms
let simmer 30 minutes
pour over polenta and serve