Cincinnati Style Street Fight

I had this post all planned out yesterday. I was going to make hamentashen, post the pictures, and tell you all about my new, awesome, stage combat class. This isn’t going to happen.

Because my happy behind got beat up. Here’s the thing, it’s SUPPOSED to be “stage” combat, meaning FAKE. Let me assure you, if wires get crossed, and you throw a punch the wrong way or bob away in the wrong direction, you will get hit, and it hurts.

My sparring partner was a 6’4″, over 200lb man. We were re-enacting a fantasy style fight, (ie “True Blood” and the like) and he was meant to cross over my head, and then hook me from behind in a kidney punch. It remains unclear which kidney he was meant to fake punch. Guess what? One of us chose wrong. He punched right, and I bobbed left, right into his fist. Thank G-d he wasn’t punching with his full might, because I would have broken ribs. As it stands now, I look like I ended up on the wrong end of a bar fight. (Without being able to say, “you should see the other guy!”)

My sparring partner felt so bad. I laughed. Hysterically. I didn’t laugh at how bad he felt, I laughed because that punch was sooo unexpected, yet totally expected, and it struck me funny. If anyone would be the one to get beat up in a fake fighting class, it’s going to be me. I have now fallen face first on stage, been hit by a falling barn, (during the song “How Do You Raise A Barn?”) slipped in motor oil while tap dancing, been heckled at an improv performance, had a bug fly into my mouth while singing, and almost puked while doing a radio show. To be fair, I was pregnant and they were eating disgusting foods that smelled like the rotten, fleshy remains of a catfish.

Stage Combat in general, is not only a necessary skill for actors, it’s also a great, fun, and challenging full-body workout for people who just want to get fit and have fun. My night would’ve been spectacular had I not taken that punch to the ol’ kidneys. Do you think I’d get a refund on my class if  I start peeing blood?

The bruise would give me serious street cred in a boxing class if I only wore a sports bra and shorts.

“What happened there?”-anyone in the class

“Oh, nothing. Just took a kidney punch from a giant.”-me, the badass.

After class I called my husband to tell him what happened.

“Honey, I got hit in my stage combat class, it feels like I ruptured something internal, possible bleeding, definitely at least 10 broken ribs.”

“It’s stage combat, Cat. I think you’re doing it wrong. I’ll cork the wine”

“Aren’t you worried I could’ve been downed ‘Million Dollar Baby’ style?”

“not really.”

I got off the phone in a huff and raced home to get that wine.

Luckily for you, I also made an awesome dinner, and took pictures of it earlier in the evening. I will finish blogging it for you and then go check my urine for blood-I think I’m just peeing awesome.

These are seriously the BEST sweet potato fries I have ever made. The spices are just spicy enough without overpowering the other spices and the delicate sweet potato. The spicy sweet combination makes your belleh happy!

Cincinnati Chili Spiced Sweet Potato Fries

What is your favorite sweet potato topping?

Would you ever take a stage combat class?