I AM Making Resolutions, What of It???????

Everyone in the blogosphere is on an anti-resolution kick this year, so just to be contrary, I am going to go resolution CRAZY. I want more resolutions than what is necessary. BIG resolutions that will CHANGE THE WORLD. (ok, maybe not.)

NUMBER 1!!! I resolve to eat something OTHER than peanut butter and honey for lunch every day. This may mean I only make something different once a week for WIAW, but what the hell do you expect?? I am a creature of habit. Just ask the socks and wallet I’ve had since high school.

NUMBER 2!!! I resolve to find a white wine that I can stomach. This is purely for the sake of teeth staining. Red teeth are cool if you’re a Cullen or a Compton, but not so cool for a daywalker from Brooklyn.

NUMBER 3!!! I resolve to get rid of at least FIFTY PERCENT of the Captain’s toys!! He has a SHITTON OF THEM and only a select few are ever played with.

NUMBER 4!!! I resolve to QUIT SPENDING SO DAMN MUCH MONEY AT STARBUCKS AND DUNKIN. This is the one I feel like I can fail at the most magnificently. I love me an iced coffee or sbux iced tea. mmmmhummmm.

NUMBER 5!!! I came home with a Christmas surprise of my very own!! No, not a vacation baby, you’re gross just for thinking that. My parents were in the house. That’s foul.

A MUFFIN TOP!! A mother loving muffin top. If I gain THREE pounds, I get one. It’s sad, unfortunate, and like everything else, I blame my mother. So, I gots to get my ass in gear and get rid of that hot mess!!

NUMBER 6!!! I resolve to get the captain to eat different vegetables. He eats it if its green or a carrot. This was also my resolution last year, so you can see how well I did.

NUMBER 7!!! I want to pay off 30% of my student loans that are now topping off at over 30Gs. I vomit in my mouth every time I read my statement.

NUMBER 8!!! I want to start vlogging. I will start with this one. It’s my brother’s dog, Anna Banana, but that’s my arm and voice!

NUMBER 9!!! I want to start making my own damn hummus. My son eats a metric ton of it a year, and that little midget is costing me a fortune.

BTW, I have a pic of my aunt V holding me in that very same tee shirt, 26 years ago. Not.kidding.

NUMBER 10!! TRY ON ALL THE BATHING SUITS BECAUSE I WANT MY BODY RECONSTRUCTION!! oh.hells.yes.

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7 Responses to I AM Making Resolutions, What of It???????

  1. Amy says:

    We almost always make our own hummus. Sometimes w/ tahini, sometimes w/o. It is awesome. And if you use canned chickpeas, it only takes about 5 minutes. (If you have a food processor – we started making our own when we didn’t, and had to mash all the garbanzos by hand – that sucked hairy donkey balls.)

    I have a list of annual goals, too. I like it. Goals make me happy. I also like to stack the deck with goals that I will achieve no matter what to make me feel successful (my #2 goal is “have a baby” – that is going to happen pretty definitely, I think).

  2. Hummus is so easy to make!

    • I have GOT to find a recipe I like!

    • Daniel says:

      We amoslt always make our own hummus. Sometimes w/ tahini, sometimes w/o. It is awesome. And if you use canned chickpeas, it only takes about 5 minutes. (If you have a food processor – we started making our own when we didn’t, and had to mash all the garbanzos by hand – that sucked hairy donkey balls.) I have a list of annual goals, too. I like it. Goals make me happy. I also like to stack the deck with goals that I will achieve no matter what to make me feel successful (my #2 goal is “have a baby” – that is going to happen pretty definitely, I think).

  3. I’m setting goals too – I need something to strive for!

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