Apple Fritters Taste Like Desperation.

I feel just gross. I have had so much rich food and zero exercise in the past few days. It just feels nasty. I am going to work out today, but I’d be lying if I said there weren’t any more cookies and possibly 12 more hours of NCIS to watch. The draw of Mark Harmon is huge. He has a homing beacon in his ass, I think. I really hope it blinks.

My sister’s birthday was a huge success, with a crap ton of food and presents. My brother also bought her a few rounds of drinks that smelled like lightning and tasted like instant regret, but she can really hold her liquor. I, on the other hand, have two of those drinks and i immediately disrobe and start to sing karaoke. At least I’m entertaining.  Strangely enough, the Peanut does the same thing after having apple juice. Must be the arsenic.

Tying one on.

My dad is currently out on the hunt for donuts, if he forgets an apple fritter, I am slipping arsenic into his coffee. We are serious about our donuts in this family, and I will NOT be shortchanged. Apple fritters are the kings of donuts. Apple fritters and maple cream sticks.

Unfortunately, it’s snaining, so I will be rocking the dreadmill today. I plan on running on it while watching Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotb. I am going to run away from alcoholism and desperation. I won’t have to run far.

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