Oh how last night’s baking was so close to being a sad sad disaster on the same scale as men wearing shiny, skinny jeans. (I saw this. Of course it was in hipsterburg, but really? SHINY??! If they were just a bit tighter I could have told you if he was Jewish or Goy.) Good grief I love a parenthetical phrase. I really need to break this habit. Or not, I’m lazy like that.
Back to baking! Lovely ADHD strikes again!!! I made a LOVELY cookie dough. It was going to be for cut out cookies! SAVE THE CUTEST FOR LAST, AMIRITE??? I have been baking since I was NINE years old. I have had virtually every baking disaster known to man. Last night’s however, was a first. (remind me to tell you about the fruit trifle with cooking sherry thing my mom and I made in a crock-pot once, WTF?)
I was preheating my oven to heat supper and stepped away. My cookie dough was right beside the stove, in my small, NYC kitchen. You can see where this is going. I melted my damn dough. That dough wasn’t ever going to firm up enough to be rolled out and cut. I improvised. I baked some of it in a sheet pan, saved the rest for a crumbly topping, and made bars. Surprisingly delicious bars.
Batch 30- “I really nearly almost completely screwed these up bars”
Half of those have nutella, semi-sweet chocolate chips and powdered sugar and the others have lingonberry jam, white chocolate chips, and powdered sugar.
What Goes In?
- 1 lb Earth Balance or other trans fat free margarine
- 2 cups brown sugar
- 1 tsp baking soda dissolved in 1 TBSP warm water
- 1/2 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 3 eggs
- 2 TBSP vanilla extract
- 5-5.5 C flour. (depending on size of eggs and moisture content of margarine. dough should be on the firmer side)
- Jam, Nutella, Nut butter, or caramel for topping
- white, chocolate, or butterscotch chips for topping
- powdered sugar for dusting
- Cream butter and sugars
- add eggs one at a time
- add vanilla and salt
- add in baking soda mixture
- sift in flour and baking powder
- if you are making cut out cookies-chill dough, roll to 1/4" thickness, cut out shapes, bake at 375F for 8-11 minutes
- For bars, spread into a half sheet pan until half full, save remaining dough for crumble topping
- bake at 375F for 20 minutes or until golden brown around the edges.
- Pull out of the oven and let cool.
- spread topping of jam, nutella, nut butters, or caramel
- crumble remaining dough on top of spread
- place back in the oven for another 5 minutes
- take it out and top with baking chips, let cool
- dust with powdered sugar