Go Batshit or Go Home.

Have you ever seen “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation?” Have you ever watched, saying to yourself, “really, come on, NO ONE decorates that much. NO ONE is that nuts, Bah to the mother effing humbug.”

Well my loves, I can assure you, you were incorrect. A little known fact about the neighborhoods surrounding mine, is that at Christmas, these people go BATSHIT crazy at Christmas time. You know how I have mentioned a small fear of miniatures, and/or claymation? I can assure you, nothing will haunt your dreams quite like a scary as hell, 8′ tall, animatronic Santa Claus. Ho, Ho, Hold Me I’m scared.

They have an entire army of Christmas, ready to fight your heathen behind into submission. Somewhere, Bill O’Reilly is in a control box.

Either they did something really bad, or really good, to be harking this many angels singing.

Frosty will NEVER defrost. DO YOU HEAR ME?!?! never.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Times Sq.

You can never *really* have too many lights-or too high an electric bill. Your welcome, Con Ed. Sorry, earthlings.

This one is my favorite color, so obviously I got a little excited and possibly peed myself with glee. Cleanup on aisle ME!

You know if your neighbors are green and white, you MUST go red and white. It’s only natural.

This is only a SMALL sampling of the truly batshittedness of my beloved Brooklyn. The Captain thinks it’s a tiny piece of Heaven just down the road from his house.

It’s also a shorter walk for those nutcrackers to come and attack.

Did you think I was going to post without giving you a little recipe? Hell no. I just wanted you to experience the cray-zay.

Most of the time, when I make cookies, I can adhere to my “tasting portion” rule of 1/3-1/2 of a cookie, just to get a taste of it. I failed. I ate four of these bitches. I could actually hear them taunting me with their buttery goodness.

“Just spend more time on the bicycle machine! You know you want me.”

And I did, I did want them. I wanted ALL of them.

Batch #16

Lemon-Lime Buttery Lovebuttons

Lemon Lime Buttery Lovebuttons
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What Goes In?

  • one sheet puff pastry
  • 1/3 cup sugar+more for tops.
  • zest of one lime (the darker the lime, the better)
  • zest of one lemon
  • 2 T honey
  • 1T beaten egg

Avengers, Assemble!

  1. Preheat oven to 430F
  2. unfurl a thawed sheet of puff pastry dough, creases sitting vertically
  3. evenly sprinkle sugar over the puff pastry, leaving a 1/2" lip at the top
  4. evenly sprinkle zest over puff pastry avoiding the lip
  5. drizzle honey over the puff pastry
  6. brush egg wash over lip of pastry
  7. Starting at the opposite end from the lip, roll pastry tightly like a jelly roll or sushi.
  8. roll it onto the lip and press a bit.
  9. cut it in half, half again, and half again until you end up with 1/2" rounds.
  10. ON parchment lined sheets (or better yet, a baking film like silpat) gently flatten each round with a rolling pin, tucking the edge underneath the cookie.
  11. sprinkle sugar over each round
  12. bake for 7 minutes and then flip each cookie to ensure caramelization on both sides.

These are a lot like palmiers and just as simple, but I don’t really bother with the pretty butterfly shape of the palmiers. Because I’m lazy. Trust me, pinwheels taste just as wonderful.

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