You Eat the Blue Balls, Britney.

My foot is no better today than yesterday. This is highly irritating to me. I fully expected to go to bed and wake up with a pain-free, size 8 foot. If I can drop 20 clothing sizes, (I was a 26 at my highest) why can’t I drop a measly 3 shoe sizes? SOMEONE GET ME A FILE!! Fashion is pain. Or more truthfully, convenience is pain. Ever try to find cute, size 11s? They cost a fortune and are few and far between.

I understand why Britney Spears walked into that gas station bathroom barefoot. I am pretty sure that would make my feet vomit, though. At least wrap your feet in a protective layer of duct tape. I am willing to bet you have a roll in your trunk.

Now I am on orders to stay off of my foot until they know exactly what’s going on. I have crazy ADHD and a bit of the OCD and this is going to irritate the hell out of me. All I can do is watch the “Today Show” and wait for the extra tall Savannah Guthrie (soul sister)and David Gregory sit across from each other and wonder who is getting kicked in the nuts/ladybits first. My bets are on Guthrie. Sorry, Mr Gregory, she’s wearing pointy toe heels. You should’ve worn a protective nutcup.

At least I have time to work on that manifesto I’ve been meaning to write…

Chapter 1:

Bourgeois and Presbyterians

Or not.

I CAN blog! I can post recipes! I can insert gratuitous pictures of my kids!!

She loves to press her face right up against yours. Pick her up! You’ll see!!

Onto a recipe.

Stuffed Blue Balls

For those days when you’re a little culinarilly frustrated. (yes, I did just make up that word.)

Blue Cheese Stuffed Meatballs over whole wheat egg noodles and snap peas.


  • 1 lb extra lean ground sirloin
  • 12 oz package of whole wheat egg noodles
  • 12-15 oz sugar snap peas
  • 4 oz gorgonzola cheese
  • 1/2 cup rolled oats
  • 3 T Frank's Red Hot
  • half of a medium sized onion, minced
  • 1 egg
  • one large onion, sliced
  • 4 oz sliced mushrooms (I used shitake)
  • 4 cloves of garlic, 2 minced 2 sliced
  • 1 cup beef stock
  • 1/2 cup amber beer (I used amstel light)
  • 1 T Worcestershire sauce.
  • 2 T earth balance buttery spread
  • 2 T flour
  • 1 T evoo
  • salt and pepper


  1. combine meat, minced garlic, onion, oats, half of a teaspoon of salt and a few grinds of pepper, Frank's Red Hot, and egg in a bowl and mix with your hands.
  2. using a small ice cream or cookie scoop scoop out equal portions of meat mixture onto a lipped cookie sheet or into a baking dish.
  3. Break off a small piece of gorgonzola cheese and place in the center of the meat ball being sure to cover it all with meat. Gently roll into ball-repeat until finished.
  4. Bake meatballs in a 350F oven until center registers 160F.
  5. For the noodles- cook noodles for 1 minute shy of package directions, drain and set aside.
  6. In a deep, well seasoned cast-iron skillet or stainless skillet, heat the skillet on high
  7. add in EVOO
  8. add in mushrooms and onions and cook until mushrooms are browned.
  9. Remove onions and mushrooms from pan and set aside. Add earth balance to the pan and add flour to the butter until butter is absorbed into the flour.
  10. whisk in beer, stock, and Worcestershire sauce and cook for 5-10 minutes or until thickened.
  11. Add the mushrooms and onions back into the sauce.
  12. Add in the noodles and meatballs
  13. Stir in the sugar snap peas right at the end.
  14. Serve with another Amstel Light!

12 thoughts on “You Eat the Blue Balls, Britney.

  1. Sorry to hear about your foot. :( I hopeit feels better soon! I have your same shoe finding problem, except opposite in shoe size. I can find Hanna Montana, Barbie shoes, or shoes with childish charms..but to find a cute adult shoe, I have to go up a few sizes and risk dangerous trippings and falls just to wear a cute pair of shoes!
  2. Can you believe, that in addition to being allergic to mushrooms, that extends to the more fungally (another new word!) of the cheeses. I.e. anything "blue." SO MUCH SUCK! Sorry about your foot. As someone who spent most of 2010 with a foot problem, I can sympathize so much! (Also, my feet came out of the whole mess almost a full size larger. Fortunately I was in a size 6 pre-foot issues/surgery, so having to buy 7s isn't too bad, until you look at the rows of beautiful six 6 stilettos gathering dust (literally) in my closet; then it does make you want to weep a little.)

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