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Don’t Scratch Your Arse Then Rub Your Eye.

Was I the only person who had the crappiest Sunday ever? Seriously, let me kvetch a moment, my family is still battling the bubonic plague, the cop was dealing with some sort of eye issue (more on that later) and the Captain was in rare.form. I did make cookies and salad with half of an avocado in it, so that’s awesome.

So my husband and his eye infection. Yesterday the cop woke up with his eye stuck shut, which, being the mother of a preschooler, I immediately went to check HIS eyes. No dice. The Captain’s eyes were clear as a bell and angry at being pried open at 7am. Don’t worry, he totally batted me off and LANDED ONE ON MY NOSE. Even.Awesomer.

I go back into the bedroom and of course accuse the cop of scratching his bare behind and then rubbing it into his conjunctiva. I realize that the cop wears contact lenses and may or may not have mentioned getting something in them the day prior, but accusing a grown man of infecting himself with pink eye is way more fun.

I obviously called him “ass eye” all day. It made my day just a little bit brighter.

Last night I also made a “that’s what she said” comment to the cop and he asked if we were back in high school. Now I am quite certain that there is no age limit on “that’s what she said” jokes, or “when I was with your mother” jokes. If so, I’m screwed. Do high school kids still use Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers? I think I have a unicorn I can bust out!

As I mentioned, I baked yesterday. I made salted toffee stuffed chocolate sugar cookies. MMM.

Batch 10- Brits Call Caramel “Toffee” Cookies

These are dead simple. I used this dough from my salted chocolate sugar cookies. I made them like chilled drop cookies and with a wet finger, made a reservoir to add a little bit of sea salt and drop one piece of these candy bars in the center, and then folded the dough around it and baked until the edges were crisp-about 18 minutes.

If you can’t find the Cadbury bars, you could use Caramello or any small, soft caramel filled chocolate. Lindt, Godiva, London’s, all of these makers have candies that would be appropriate.

The great part about this recipe, is that if you are making the salted sugars, you can just double batch the dough. Fab.

Do you like caramel?

Ever had pinkeye?

 

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