Uncle Jerry Is A Pain In The Arse.

It’s the final countdown!!! The last days of calm before the bedlam surrounding Thanksgiving. The holiday has a tendency to lend itself to familial bickering, belt loosening, and deal seeking. We are all so consumed with holiday perfection and post holiday shopping that we forget to take the time to appreciate it for the day it is. It is an awesome opportunity to eat eat entirely too much food, watch the longest, and most boring version of “UP” you’ve ever seen, finally tell Uncle Jerry that he’s a pain in the ass, and inhale pie.

I FINALLY have my menu decided. For every rich, and decadent dish, I’ll have one or more healthy options. I am also going to make 5 cup salad because my family is a big old bunch of hillbillies and we don’t know how to have Thanksgiving without it.

Five Cup Salad

• 1 C shredded coconut
• 1 C sour cream
• 1 C pineapple niblets
• 1 C mandarin oranges
• 1 C mini marshmallows

-stir, chill, and serve.

There is also a lot of food I can make ahead of next Thursday, to make the whole day go a lot smoother.

• cider glazed turkey with cider gravy
• roasted broccoli and brussel sprouts-chopped the day before
• mashed potatoes
• sweet potato casserole-potatoes roasted a day or two before
• green bean casserole green beans blanched and chilled the day or two before
• shaved salad
  
• 5 cup salad- made the day or two before. it just gets better.
• stuffing with apples and onions
• rolls-dough already made, leavened, and frozen. It will need just one more rise and baked.
• pecan pie (recipe to come) day or 2 before
• pumpkin or sweet potato pie (recipe to come) day or two before

If you stare at it, it looks stressful. Then again, if you stare at a straight man trying to fold a fitted sheet, it looks stressful. It’s all about tucking in the corners first, unless you want an ugly ball on your closet floor. I know that sounds extremely sexist, and it is, but I’ve yet to meet one that can. Hell, most women can’t. Men can’t fold fitted sheets, women don’t spend hours trying to lick their own elbow (I’ll spend 5 minutes trying to do it, tops.) or figuring out where Libya is. (Apparently, that takes considerably longer.)

Thank the Lord this guy LOVES a map-and world policy, I’m sure.

The hat helps you take him seriously as a world leader.

What is the most stressful part of your holiday?

-this year it’s probably going to avoid the above pictured gentleman’s questions about “Happy Feet 2″

Do you have a “dirty secret” food that you love?

-obvie 5 cup salad