No One Needs To See That

If I were to become a professional baker there would be three things I would eliminate immediately after becoming employed:

  1. hand mixers. I hate them, they have eaten my pinky on occasion.
  2. convection ovens, no one can never figure out the mother loving calculations. The instructions are 25394857 pages long, NO ONE ever reads the whole thing.
  3. ummm, wait, ummm, hand mixers, convection ovens, and….

Oh who cares?? It’s not like I’m running for president or anything! Mostly, I just run for fun, or to chase a 3 year old, or because I’m naked and running across a soccer field. (just kidding, I’ve never streaked…NO one needs to see that. I don’t even look down when I’m in the shower. It’s amazing I can even shave my legs, so far I have at least nine toes left.)

So I guess I will just have to settle for being a home baker. I’ll leave the big baking to the professionals. As an amateur baker, I can bake in my running clothes and the Cop and Captain will still eat it. It works swell that way.

So here it is folks, Batch 5 of my 30 batches.

Chocolate Peppermint Crunch Cookie Bark.

To be honest, I got this recipe years ago online, and it made its way around the blogosphere then. I honestly don’t know the original source, but there is a super similar version that appeared in the Washington Post.

Base

  • 1.5 C flour
  • .75 t baking soda
  • .5 C Hershey’s Cocoa Powder
  • 2 sticks melted and slightly cooled butter
  • .75 C sugar
  • .5 C brown sugar
  • 2T hot water
  • 2 t vanilla
  • 1 C chocolate chips

Topping:

  • 2 C chocolate chips
  • .75 cup crushed peppermint candy

Preheat oven to 350F.

Prepare Base: In a large bowl sift together dry ingredients and set aside. In a smaller bowl, mix butter, water, extract, and sugars. Add slowly to dry ingredients and add chocolate chips. Spread over 2, parchment lined, baking sheets in an 11″-8″ rectangle with a good sized border around it. THIS WILL SPREAD. Bake for approx 15 minutes, until top is dull and firm.

-Immediately after taking out of the oven, spread remaining chips over cookie base and smear to near the edges as it melts. Top with crushed candies. Let cool, break up. Eat.

Random Q: who do you like better? Peppermint Patty or Lucy? – Peppermint Patty, duh.

Have you ever streaked?

-not even in the gym locker room.

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16 Responses to No One Needs To See That

  1. Tracy N. :) says:

    Peppermint Patty…
    Yes…in my thinner days through the girls dorm in college to freak everyone out. *sheepishly looks around* I love a good reaction to something shocking. LOL! I try to block that memory like it never happened. Heehee!

  2. These look delicious! Perfect for the holidays. And I love the combo of chocolate and peppermint.
    Nope, can’t say I ever streaked. Have did a quick flash before in college. haha.

  3. janae jacobs says:

    Does it count if it was from the beach to the water and it was really late at night with all of my college girlfriends?!?! Okay, I am kind of mad at you….you didn’t make that above heaviness while I was there….I NEED THAT!

  4. stardustdawn says:

    I want that. I want it bad. I can’t have wheat. I can’t have dairy. I wonder if there’s a good substitute for this recipe? If there is, I might just do a naked happy dance. Does that count as streaking?

  5. SkinnyRunner says:

    i just wanna know how you dont eat all the cookies/baked goods you make. its arsenic as the secret ingredient, isnt it. i knew it.

  6. I love a good bark recipe. This looks like a perfect holiday party recipe yum!

  7. At first I wished I was your neighbor. But now that you are only on 5/30 I am thankful that I am not – because I would have consumed everything!!!

  8. Amanda says:

    I seriously think I need to make this recipe….seems easy enough that even I could do it! And no, I’ve never streaked, but I did witness Tracy’s streaking in college…being chased through the dorm halls by a naked girl was something that they failed to mention during freshman orientation. LOL

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