Peeing on a Pedophile’s Lap

Guess what’s back at Starbucks!!! Gingerbread Lattes and Gingerbread Biscotti–both get capitalized because of their importance in my life. That means it’s officially time to get your mother loving holly jolly Christmas on. Did you send your Christmas cards? Did you buy all of your gifts? Did you sit on the creepy mall pedophile’s lap and perhaps pee on it? Oh, oh, oh, it’s only 11/2. Silly Starbucks, you got me all excited.

So excited that I made myself a lovely bowl of GINGERBREAD OATMEAL!! I scoured the interwebs I found lots of interesting gingerbread oats, including one that looks delicious at Live, Laugh, Eat, so I took all of their inspiration and made this!

Gingerbread Oats. serves 2. (or 1 half of an adult and one REALLY hungry 3 year old)

  • 1 cup oats
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/2 cup vanilla almond milk
  • 1/2 tsp fresh grated ginger (if you don’t have a microplane, a mortar and pestle will work)
  • 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
  • dash ground ginger
  • 1.5 tsp molasses
  • Brown sugar to taste

Bring water, almond milk, and molasses to a hard simmer. Stir in oats and spices, cook until chewy/soft. Add in grated ginger.

Gild the Lily-add 1/2 cup pumpkin

Blow it out- skip sugar, add BISCOFF spread

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