Snoop Dog and the Captain and Tennille

Being in NYC, I see it all at the gym, naked ladies eating protein bars, Brooklyn stereotypes staring, grunting, and “showing off,” (seriously guys? This is NOT impressive to any of us, you just look douchier and more likely to carry an STD.) Generally, I’m not annoyed with any of it. Live your la vida doucha. You.Do.You.

Except one thing. GET OFF OF YOUR DANG PHONE ON THE CARDIO EQUIPMENT!!! Do I care if you tweet? no. Do I care if you scan Facebook pages to look at pictures of your ex so you can secretly think to yourself, “how do you like me now, huh? I’m at the gym!!! Where are you? In your mother’s basement playing computer games and hating life?!?!” I don’t care if you read trashy magazines, listen to a steady stream of Snoop Dog and Captain and Tennille, browse your iPad for dumbarse Andrew Breitbart “articles” or write in your diary. As long as I don’t have to hear it. Do not get on a treadmill beside a woman who isn’t wearing headphones (I had important reading material) and blather on about how you “tapped that” and she “wasn’t that good” but how you’d still “pay to see her naked” and how it was “worth the cost of all of the drinks.”

sorry for the blur, I was reading, elliptisizing, and picture taking.

Guess what, a-hole? You suck. All I wanted to do, the entire time, was either pull the stop cord when he was running, or turn to him and start talking IN-DEPTH about my period. Something to the effect of “I was so mad when they discontinued OB Ultra! Don’t worry though, I found a store that had a ton of boxes and I bought them out. I could bleed out for YEARS and be plugged up like some levee in Holland.” He would have deserved it.  Fortunately for him, I like reading and avoiding confrontation.

It’s so true it’s scary.

Ever get beside a gym phoner? Why do people even talk on the phone anymore?

Favorite Fitness Mag?

-I like Fitness, Runner’s World, Shape, Women’s Health, and Self.

8 thoughts on “Snoop Dog and the Captain and Tennille

  1. Even worse than the gym phone talker = the gym person who wants to talk to me. I am running on the treadmill (this was, admittedly, last year when I was rehabbing my foot surgery & didn't want to be 2 miles + from home if I needed to stop), do I look like I want to talk to you? NO I DO NOT! (That makes me stabby.)
  2. SO feel your pain. I go to the gym on my lunch hour occasionally, to get away from the office and catch up on some reading. Inevitably, the person next to me will take a call, or the gym personnel will camp out near me chatting away. Nothing pisses me off more! I have so thought of calling a friend just to tell them what a douche this guy is next to me talking on the phone at the gym, ruining my lunch hour, when all I want to do is read in peace. Seriously, it's not OK, and you shouldn't have to be told! [end rant]

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