I Felt Tongue.

I am not a cuddly person by nature. I was raised by stoic midwesterners whose idea of close, personal affection is a pat on the back. Where a hearty greeting was a wave. The first time I got the “kiss on the cheek, hello”, (common in NYC) it was like my cheek had been molested in the politest way possible. In my head I was thinking “did this person just make out with my cheek? I’m sure I felt tongue.”

at least buy me a drink first.

All this time later, I am sort of offended if you DON’T kiss me. I mean, I don’t want to be the make out family from SNL, but if you cop a feel, I won’t hate you. (just kidding,  I won’t just NOT hate you, I’ll give you a cookie!!!)

The funny thing is that at my gym, A LOT OF EUROPEANS kiss me hello. I do look like one of them. (a few generations removed) And they often kiss me hello WHILE NAKED IN THE LOCKER ROOM. I can’t decide whether or not to stare at the oncoming headlights or turn away. I choose to ONLY MAKE EYE CONTACT.

I find that since having kids, I have become SUPER AFFECTIONATE. I can’t get enough of them!! They’re just so.friggen.cute. (I didn’t use the F word there, and I’m proud.) My heart nearly explodes with love 400x a day. Today, while dancing with Elijah and doing some plyometrics, using him as a counterweight, he was giggling away and I felt a little like this.


I can’t help what I’ve become. I feel bad for any of you in my wake. I promise, it’s only because I REALLY like you.

How can you NOT squeeze them???

9 thoughts on “I Felt Tongue.

  1. I, too, am a stoic Midwesterner, and it took me ages to get used to the west coast "hug every time we say hello & goodbye" thing. I think I would die if there was also kissing involved. Of course, I developed a reputation as an anti-huggite, and now, even though I am mostly used to it (with friends; strangers SHOULD NOT HUG), my friends say things like, "I'd hug you, but I know you hate it," and things like that. I don't want to be an anti-huggite! However, I do draw the line at touching people in the locker room, especially when nude. That sounds like a very special place in hell.
  2. Im kinda from the midwest (pittsburgh pa in the house :)) and wasnt raised by overly demonstrative people. Somehow Ive always been a hugger AND as you described it has only gotten, uh, worse since Ive become a mom. **throws open arms and chases you around the room**

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