Chocolate Covered F Word.

So, it would seem giving up using the “f” word is like giving up smoking. I’ve done both.

I never thought I’d be giving up the “F” word. I love it. It sounds funny. It’s a great expletive. Sometimes, it’s the only word that will work. “DANG” when you stub your baby toe doesn’t have the same punch.

Alas, it would seem I am now a responsible mother of 2. Plus, I HATE being dependent on a WORD. I think I’ve said it around 10x already today. I feel as though there are days I use “F@#k” as frequently as teenagers use “like.” That can’t be good.

I also use it for my dog. A lot. When I anthropomorphize her, she has a POTTY mouth. She is ALWAYS swearing about SOMETHING. Generally, it’s while waiting for a walk or for her treats.
This Bitch can swear. (you see? it’s like tourettes!)

I have tried replacement words, like “fig,” “fudge,” “truck,” and “shuck.” But they seem disingenuous. I would say “frig” but I may get mistaken for a Brooklyn Italian. I love me some Brooklyn Italians, but I am proud to be Slovak and would never want to encroach on their awesomeness. We fill OUR pasta with potatoes. Our carbs have carbs. Our wine sucks, though.

On TOP of giving up the “F” word, I am also trying to give up giant portions of refined sugar that isn’t good for me for the remainder of my half-marathon training. Because I hate life and unicorns. So on TOP of already being crotchety about my vocabulary, I am limited in my choices. Fortunately, I have found my salvation.

Have you tried this? It’s soooooooo good. It’s not too sweet, you don’t need to eat much of it, and it’s loaded with anti-oxidants! SCORE. Seriously, I want to go to San Francisco and make out with the folks at Ghiradelli. I want to lie in Ghiradelli Square and have them pour this down my throat in melted form. I love you Ghiradelli. I love you lots.

22 thoughts on “Chocolate Covered F Word.

  1. Swearing is good! Also, it teaches your children how to do it properly, so they never get made fun of in 6th grade when they improperly use the word "shit." Not that that happened to me. (Even the bus driver laughed at me. So much trauma, all because my parents never said anything worse than criminy, and only when things were very, very bad.)
  2. Coming from a family where "sucks" was considered a bad word I actually felt horrible the first (and possibly last) time I dropped the F bomb in front of my dad. I was a college grad at the time if you can believe that. These days it is sadly part of my bf and mine vocab. I need to fix that.
  3. I too have the vocab of a trucker most of the time. I once had a auto technician I worked with tell me I swore too much. So, I told him he was full of shit :) P.S. If you think Ghiradelli chocolate is awesome, just wait until you tried Green & Blacks! Mmmm...heaven...
  4. So is the chocolate a reward for not swearing? I've tried everything else and failed each time...but chocolate? That might just work, though I'll probably have to buy it in bulk and make sure to have a bar in each hand.
  5. I would actually buy a tshirt that said "Chocolate Covered F-word" on it...so if you decide to go in that direction, please put me on that mailing list. Thanks.
  6. I say "like" too much. I need to quit. I also say the f word too much. And every other swear word. I can censor myself, though. Saying "like?" Not as easy to break the habit. That chocolate sounds divine. I need some.

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