This Coffee Tastes Like Crap

When you’re on a long(ish) run, say 5 miles or more, does your brain ever start to think of the STUPIDEST THINGS EVER? This was me today.

I wasn’t feeling my music, the TV sucked, and the gym was dead. I decided to “meditate while running” and just zone out on the sound of the treadmill. I started (naturally) to think about food. Somehow, I always manage to think about food when I’m running. Kind of like when I’m eating, I’m usually thinking about running. And when I’m washing laundry, I’m always thinking about NOT finding poop in it.

I eat a lot of “weird” food. I get that. I routinely eat jellyfish, liver, chicken feet, sweet breads, cheese that could clear a room, grasshoppers, huitlacoche,  etc etc. I’ve never been one to shy away from trying something different or peculiar. I am no Andrew Zimmern, but I’ve had my fair share of the odd.

In my life though, I have come across a few things that I just.won’ One of those things is a favorite food of my lovely husband. I’ll let you guess what it is.

This, my friends, is coagulated, cooked, duck blood. It’s cooked with strips of ginger and spring onion. I love my husband, but I just cannot bring myself to eat something that so closely resembles afterbirth.

This brings me to my next question. Earlier in the week, Tina wrote about the peanut butter iced coffee that was available in Boston. I was jealous. I love peanut butter in a deep, visceral way. I was mad I couldn’t get it here, in NYC, where I can get coagulated duck blood, a pizza that costs as much as a rent payment (well, not THAT much) and hand smoked tea leaves. I did some googling and found out that SEVERAL of my favorite NYC coffee emporiums sell civit coffee.

For those of you that aren’t aware of this product, a civit is a cat, native to Asia and Africa that feeds on the coffee berries that house the bean. They then CRAP OUT said coffee bean, and then people HARVEST AND ROAST THE BOWEL MOVEMENT BEANS. I would like to know who was the first person to say, “you know, I know it looks like shit now, but I bet it will taste FANTASTIC!” $30 a cup fantastic. I kinda want to have this coffee as my last meal (72 years from now) so that someone can say to me “eat shit and die” and I can laugh as I go out. But until then, I’M NOT DRINKING IT.

I left you something. That will be $60, please. (source)



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