I often botch song lyrics. To be fair, I have only about 45% of the hearing of an average person. Sometimes, this is good, “what honey? don’t buy another bag? or did you say hag? who wants a hag, anyhow?” Sometimes it’s embarrassing. Sometimes it happens when you don’t realize you’re singing audibly at the gym. Oops.
I have a lonnnnnng history of creating interesting music in my head. Most of the time, one of my siblings or my husband lets me know by laughing at me loudly while saying “what did you say??!??!?!” Well, mostly my sister. I swear she’s a nice person.
Yesterday, at the gym, waiting for BodyPump, I got on the treadmill for a bit. I cranked my tunes, and started off. The guy beside me, who I often see at the gym and I am friendly with, wears no headphones. So I start singing along (I don’t realize when I am doing it, I am THAT runner.) Here was the song.
“What does it matter to ya, when you got a job to do, you gotta do it well,…
This is where I apparently get a little fuzzy on the ol’ Paul McCartney. I finished this line as it sounded to me. “you gotta let the other bella tell”
Apparently-not the lyrics. Apparently it’s “you gotta give the other fella hell!” Truly, this makes more sense.
Thank G-d I run beside a hysterical formerly Hasidic drag queen and not my Dad. A: the sight of my Dad on a treadmill would be dangerous for me as I’d pass out. B: He’d (or my sister) would fall off laughing at me. Drag queens however, have spectacular balance.
Some of my more notorious song lyric eff ups:
Michael Jackson “Wanna Be Starting Somethin”
My lyric: “you’re a filet, you’re a vegetable”
MJ’s “You’re just a buffet; You’re a vegetable”
My lyric “Mama say Mama saw Ma make cole slaw”
to be fair, mine makes more sense.
Phil Collins “Sussudio”
My Lyrics: “I feel so good, If I just save the world, “StuuStuuStudio”
Phil’s “But I feel so good if I just say the word Sussudio”
Wouldn’t saving the world make you feel good?
Now for possibly my most EPIC FAIL OF LYRICS OF ALL TIME.
Let it be said that I am the farthest thing from racist, which is why I used to hate this song, and in particular, Bette Midler.
First, Bette’s lyric “And I can fly higher than an eagle, cause you are the wind beneath my wings”
My lyric, “And I can fly higher than a negro, cause you are the wind beneath my wings”
I was like 8 when I thought this. I had also seen “Beaches” at this point, and Bette didn’t SEEM like a racist woman. A little bawdy on Letterman, but by no means RACIST. I still get shit from my family on this one. My husband probably thinks it’s funnier than anyone else. He asked me if I thought it was “Chinky Chinky Bang Bang” a musical about Chinese Gangs with an affinity for flying cars. Hysterical, honey.